Fait Accompli
by SarRansom
Summary: Their final year, their final chance at finding each other, his final plan to call Lily Evans his. To grow up. Full detailed summary inside. Canon pairings/characters. JP/LE alongside the ever wonderful Marauders.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody and welcome to my new story, I hope you enjoy it. I've been tossing the idea around of doing something for my favourite Harry Potter ship, Lily and James, for a while and here it is. **_**Fair Accompli.**_

**Title: **_Fair Accompli. _"An irreversible action that has happened before those affected by it knew of its existence." I found it apt. In the HP Universe, James and Lily exist to ensure Harry's birth, though, of course, they don't know it at the time, their role is to give the world the boy who will eventually defeat Voldemort. This is a theme that will run throughout the story.

**Rating: **M, for language and explicit sexual references, themes and scenes. For the duration of the story a T rating would be appropriate, but a few certain chapters dictate that the higher rating is more suitable.

**Chapters: **Eighteen, including an epilogue.

**Characters: **Our dearest Mr Potter and Miss Evans of course.

**Summary:** Their final year, their final chance at finding each other, his final plan. To grow up. We all know that James Potter famously "deflated his head" before Lily Evans agreed to give a relationship with him a chance, but nobody ever suspected that James's actions were due to his determination not to leave Hogwarts without calling Lily his. With Death Eaters within the walls and heartbreaking realities forcing themselves on the unlikely couple, it will be their most interesting year at Hogwarts yet.

**((XX))**

_One – Live and Let Live_

"_**In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities"  
**_**Janos Arnay**

Lily Evans cast one final look around her cluttered bedroom, ignoring her father's yells coming from downstairs. It didn't appear as if she'd forgotten anything she needed but she was still finding it difficult to leave, despite knowing that she was already running late.

Perhaps it was the almost certain knowledge that when she next returned here, everything had the possibility of being very different. So much had changed between now and a year ago, the last time she'd been home. Perhaps she would have to break the tradition she'd formed, and return home for the Christmas holidays.

Hogwarts was majestic over the festive season but this year it seemed she would have to put her family first.

With a sigh she left her familiar childhood bedroom; her trunk was already downstairs. The only thing she carried in her hand now was the cage of her beautiful tawny own, Helene, who looked up at her sadly.

"I'm really sorry girl." Lily murmured softly to the owl as she carried her downstairs. "You know I wish I could take you with me, but I need you to stay here in case something…in case Dad needs to get in contact with me in a hurry."

Helene hooted softly in reply as they entered the small kitchen; she understood. Lily sat her large cage on the counter-bench and reached her finger into the cage. Helene gave her an affectionate nip and Lily fled the room before she started crying.

"Lils, we've got to go." Her dad exclaimed, one foot already out the door. "Give Petunia and your mother a kiss and get in the car."

Lily ran into the sitting room to say her final goodbyes. Her mother was wrapped in a thick woollen that was so large her small frame was lost in it. Despite the blanket and the unseasonably warm September day she was still shivering gently.

Lily was stricken by just how frail her mother had become in the past few months and wondered, feared, just what she'd look like by the time she next made it home. Petunia was sprawled elegantly at their mother's feet, reading to her and she barely looked up as Lily ran in.

The young redhead bit back tears as she crushed her mother in the fiercest hug she thought her frail body could handle. "I'll miss you," she whispered in her mother's ear.

Elizabeth Evans stroked her youngest daughter's hair, her arms frighteningly thin. "I'll miss you too, my dearest. Have a good term, have lots of fun and don't forget to study hard. Enjoy your last year, Head Girl." She smiled proudly. "Don't spend all your time worrying about your old mum."

Lily wanted to say that it was impossible, that she had spent the last eighteen months constantly worried about her mother and that wasn't going to change now, especially when Elizabeth was worse than ever, but instead she smiled, through a film of tears.

"Of course not. Write to me lots, Helene can deliver anything, whenever."

"Lily!" Came her father's warning call, the train wasn't going to wait for her.

"Coming!" She called back. She swooped down and kissed her older sister's head; though the two girls didn't get along as well as they had when they were young, Lily still hated leaving her sister, knowing she wouldn't see her for months. "Bye Tuney."

She gave her mother a final kiss. "I love you mummy."

Lily cried most the way into London and her father never interrupted her. They were walking through Kings Cross station, headed for platform nine and three-quarters, before her father spoke.

"Your mother's right Lils, Tuney and I have everything covered here. You go off to school, work hard, enjoy your last year and work on becoming the best," he lowered his voice conspiringly "witch you can be. We're so proud of you Lily."

"I know, daddy. Thank you." Lily bit her lip again, determined not to let the tears start flowing again now that she had finally stemmed them. "Let me know if anything happens; if she gets better…or worse."

"We will," he promised. They had reached the gate to the platform. "I'll leave you here baby, I'm sure you don't want your old dad embarrassing you on the platform now that you're Head Girl and everything." He ruffled her hair affectionately.

"Aw dad, of course you won't embarrass me!"

"It's okay Lils, I better be getting back. Have a great term." He hugged her tightly, and she squeezed him back, just as fiercely. She straightened up, brushing tears from her eyes again and straightening her blouse.

"How do I look?" She asked her dad, catching sight of her blouse and jeans combination in the reflection of the train on platform ten.

"Very head-girly," George Evans replied with a laugh. He gave her one last kiss on the head. "Go get 'em Lils."

Lily gave her father one last smiled and leaned casually against the barrier between platforms nine and ten, stumbling as she was absorbed between then. Lily smiled broadly at the sight of the crowded, busy platform; the scarlet steam engine and the misty fog that obscured all its inhabitants.

As much as she loved going back to the 'Muggle' world for the holidays, Hogwarts and the wizarding world was where she _truly _belonged.

Lily dragged her trunk into the undercarriage of the train before climbing aboard, calling hello to people she knew as she worked her way through the small crowds that were lingering in the hall between carriages.

She was prepared for a challenging year. Not only did she have N.E.W.T.s to contend with, but also the reality of the departure of her best friend, Dorcas Meadows. She and Dorcas had been best friends since their first trip together on the Hogwarts Express, two Muggle-born girls, awed and astounded by everything around them.

Both had excelled as soon as they were settled into their new lives at Hogwarts; Lily academically and Dorcas, on the Quidditch pitch. At the end of the last school year Dorcas had been targeted by the Holyhead Harpies to play for them, their youngest player, and she'd been ecstatic, accepting immediately.

While Lily was delighted for her friend, she had to admit it was odd returning to school without her.

As she continued to push through the train she heard a voice calling out her name again. She looked up to see the bright, shining face of Alice Pengrave smiling at her from the inside of a compartment.

"Alice!" She rushed forward to hug her friend. "You look fantastic."

"Thanks, Lily. How about you come in here and sit with me?"

"I'd love to." Lily felt a sudden rush of gratitude for Alice. Though they'd shared a dormitory for some years, they had never been the closest of friends. Though now, with the departure of Dorcas, and their other dorm mates, Mary MacDonald and Pricilla Henry, they would be alone in their dormitory.

Lily realised that Alice must feel as displaced as she herself was. Alice had been dating Frank Longbottom since their third year, but he had been a year above them, and had graduated the year before; moving on to Auror training and leaving Alice at Hogwarts.

"I'm surprised Frank isn't here to see you off." Lily questioned, looking out at the platform and the scenes of farewell as they chatted animatedly.

"He wanted to come, but I told him not to. I didn't want to end up crying in front of everyone." Alice admitted sheepishly. "It's going to be weird without him at Hogwarts."

Lily nodded, but personally, she could not understand how Alice could be in such a committed relationship at such a young age. She did not see the draw, surely it was better to be on your own, committed to studies and the future, rather than snogging.

It wasn't that Lily wasn't interested in boys, she was, she'd even had a boyfriend just last year for a few months, and it had been nice; it was just that, surely, it had to be more _practical_, not to have one, until after one's schooling was completed.

The train started moving slowly from the platform, and Lily jumped up, smoothing out her blouse once more.

"I've got to go and talk to the Prefects!" She looked down at Alice. "Head Girl," she smiled faintly.

"Congratulations! I knew you'd get that." Alice smiled at her. "I wonder who the Head Boy is; I hope its Remus."

So did Lily. Remus Lupin had been the other Gryffindor prefect with her since their fifth year, and even if Lily didn't get along well with the people he considered friends, she got along very well with him.

Promising Alice she'd be back as soon as she could, Lily left the compartment, headed for the front carriage of the train. The meeting with the prefects wasn't to start for another five minutes, but she wanted to be early; prepared. She had thought hard about what she wanted to say, what kind of leader she wanted to be; firm but kind, everybody's friend. She hoped fervently that she got along well with the head boy, so much hinged on that relationship; as long as it wasn't Mulciber, that horrible boy from Slytherin…

As she had predicted, she was the first one in the compartment. She settled in comfortable, rehearsing what she wanted to say. She stood up smiling when the compartment door opened again, but the smile froze on her face when she saw who it was.

If possible, James Potter had grown more attractive over the summer. He was taller again, his frame filled with impressive muscles, barely concealed by the muggle outfit of jeans and t-shirt that he wore so well. His jaw was stronger; his eyes, as always obscured by wire glasses, were bright and he was well-tanned. Lily knew James's face well enough to see its flaws; his noise was slightly crooked, his bottom lip fuller than his top – but those suited him well.

It wasn't just the beauty of his face that made James Potter so attractive, it was the air of confidence he put out, a confidence Lily found intolerable.

In truth, Lily found nearly everything about James intolerable. They had clashed on their very first trip on the Hogwarts Express, seven years previously, and had repeated the experience persistently over time.

Perhaps it was inevitable that two personalities that were both so strong and yet so opposing had sparred so often.

James was everything Lily couldn't stand: proud, arrogant and so sure of his own abilities. He achieved everything without even trying and had no regard for anybody else.

Alternatively, James found Lily's frustration with him completely endearing, and had repeatedly asked her out since their first year, giving Lily the opportunity to design new ways to say "no", as creatively as possible.

So when Lily saw James, striding into the prefects carriage as if he belonged there, she was more than aware of how very attractive he had become, not that she would ever admit it; because if she knew how handsome James was, she knew he knew it as well and would surely use it to his own advantage.

Their eyes met, startling green and deep hazel and James's face twisted into a small smile. Lily's breath caught in her throat; this was not the smirk she had become so accustomed to seeing on his face over the last six years, nor the sneer she had seen on occasion when he was confronted with someone he particularly didn't like.

This smile was genuine, easy, carefree, just something that sprang into being at the look of shock on Lily's face.

"Evans." He greeted her, his voice pleasantly husky. "How was your summer?"

"Potter…what are you…" She found her voice and drew herself up to her full height, unimpressive beside his six foot two frame. "This is the prefects' compartment. You can't be in here unless you're a prefect, and you're not!"

He continued to grin at her. "No Evans, I'm not. I am however, Head Boy." He pointed proudly to the badge he had pinned to his t-shirt. Lily stared at in his disbelief, how had she missed the shiny piece of metal earlier? James Potter wasn't…couldn't be…Head Body? He hadn't even been a prefect!

"But…you weren't even…you weren't a prefect…you can't be Head Boy!" She cried indignantly, with only a slight problem of forming flowing sentences.

"There's no rule saying you have to be a prefect to become Head Boy; it's just the way it's normally been done." James was still grinning as he wound his way around the table in the middle of the compartment and came to stand beside Lily.

The smile faded on his face for a minute and Lily struggled with her sure knowledge that James Potter was being…serious. "Look, Evans. I was just as shocked as you were, but I've had a bit of time to adjust to the idea and I know what you're thinking but I am going to take this seriously." He smiled a little at her. "We should have a chat Evans, I think we could be really good partners."

Oh boy. James laid his hand on Lily's upper arm and she looked down at it in surprise. His skin was warm on hers, warmer than anybody had a right to be and his hand was so big he could have wrapped his fingers around her arm if he wanted to.

Lily was taken off guard by the gesture, by what she was hearing. This wasn't the James Potter who had fastened her hair to the back of her chair with a permanent sticking charm their second year when Professor Flitwick had been distracted. This wasn't the James Potter who had asked her out to _every _Hogsmeade weekend since their very first one in third year. This wasn't the James Potter who insisted on playing Exploding Snap as close to her as possible the night before their History of Magic O.W.L, relishing in distracting her.

She looked up from her arm where his hand still rested.

"Who are you and what have you done with James Potter?" She asked faintly.

His boom of laughter was interrupted by the sound of the compartment door sliding open again. One by one, prefect began to file into the room, staring in shock at James Potter, with the Head Boy badge pinned jauntily to his chest.

He greeted them all cheerfully, ushering them inside and finally calling the meeting to order. All the while Lily concentrated on remembering how to breathe.

"Well, welcome everyone." James said, glancing down at Lily, waiting for her to introduce herself. When she didn't, he continued. "I'm sure most of you remember the gorgeous Lily Evans, your Head Girl for this year."

Lily snapped out of her reverie. "And you all know the dashingly handsome, fantastically talented Gryffindor Quidditch captain _and _this year's Head Boy, James Potter." She countered acerbically.

Somehow, it appeared her sarcasm had been lost upon the group of prefects that were crowded into the carriage. They all stared between the two seventh years that were so famous for hating one another, wondering what on earth had happened between them during the summer break.

"I think you need to work on your sarcasm," James muttered under his breath and Lily sent him a scathing glare in reply. With a smile she turned back to the prefects and gave them their instructions for the train ride.

"Well, I think that's it for now…" Lily began to wind down her talk. "We'll meet again in the classroom off the Great Hall after you've escorted your first years to your Common Rooms' tonight. You're free to go unless there's anything Pot…James wanted to add."

"I think Lily's covered everything. Don't forget to patrol the corridors occasionally and we'll see you tonight after the feast."

They all filed out, casting furtive glances behind their shoulders as they did at the Head Boy and Girl who remained behind.

"I'll take the first patrol if you'd like." James offered.

Lily's eyes widened a bit at his voluntary good behaviour. "Sure."

"Great, I'll see you later then. We can have that chat after the meeting." He winked at her and exited the compartment.

Lily was left to stumble, reeling, back to the carriage she and Alice were sharing.

"Lily? What's the matter? You look as if you've seen a ghost." Alice exclaimed as Lily sunk down into the chair opposite her.

"I feel as if I have." Lily said a little breathlessly, before finding her voice again. "Potter is Head Boy! James _Bloody _Potter!" She shrieked. "The boy who has spent more time in detention than anyone else ever to go to Hogwarts; he just strolls into the prefect carriage and announces it! He's so damn frustrating. How am I supposed to get anything done with him around? And he wants to talk to me after the feat! Says he's taking it serious…"

"And he looks absolutely edible now." Alice added conversationally.

"Ad that!" Lily agreed before she actually heard the words and gasped. "Alice! Don't trick me like that! Besides, how do you know that? What about Frank?"

"Just because I'm with Frank doesn't mean I'm dead. I saw James on the platform, and he looked incredible."

Lily sighed, letting her head roll back to the cushion of her seat.

"What am I going to do?"She asked Alice hopelessly.

"Say yes the next time he asks you to Hogsmeade? Have that talk with him? Jump his bones?" Alice giggled.

"I'm serious Alice! He's ruining everything."

"With his dreamy eyes, and his strong jaw and his muscles…Oh, those muscles!" Alice teased mercilessly. "Oh come on Lily, relax. Go along to your meeting tonight and talk to him, lay down some ground rules, he might surprise you. Now stop stressing and let me tell you about what Frank's mother said to me during the holidays…"

**((XX))**

The door swung shut with an ominous click as the last of the prefect filled out of the room after their meeting. It had gone well; Lily was pleased with the easy level of agreement among the leaders of the school, even Mulciber from Slytherin.

It was late into the night and she had been awake since early that morning. With a stomach full of the best Hogwarts had to offer, all Lily wanted to do was go up to bed, but she had promised Potter that she'd listen to what he had to say and so she waited.

She lingered, somewhat patiently, while James loosened his tie and leaned against a table opposite the one she was curled up on.

"You never answered my question before you know, Evans." James grinned at her as he ran his fingers through his hair for the three thousandth time that night.

"What question?" She asked, honestly confused.

"How was your summer?"

Lily paused, still confused. James Potter was being civil, polite, enquiring after her holidays. But what could she tell him? That she had spent most her summer dreading this year to come, watching her mother get smaller and thinner and frailer in front of her eyes, knowing that there was nothing she could do about it, even with all her magical abilities.

That she had fought continually, if not quietly so as not to disturb her mum, with her sister. That was the reality of Lily's holidays, but she wasn't sure James Potter wanted to hear that.

"It was nice to have a break." She replied as honestly as she could, "How about you?"

"Great. I played Quidditch nearly the entire time." He grinned broadly at her, as if nothing could make him happier.

Silently, Lily thought to herself that would account for the impressive bulk of muscles he had built and the attractive tan to his skin.

He was still grinning at her as she stifled a yawn behind her hand.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about Potter?" She reminded him wearily. It wasn't even technically the first day of term and he was already wearing on her nerves. "Because it's a long day and I'd like to go to bed."

James shifted in his seat and Lily was shocked to see, that just for a moment, he wasn't his normal composed self, the façade slipped, but it was up again just as quickly.

"You never have been very patient have you, Red?" He smirked at her.

Lily jumped to her feet. She'd been prepared to listen to James, half-believing that maybe he had changed, and here he was, pushing her again. She hated when he called her Red and he knew it.

"Relax Evans, I was just teasing. I did want to chat, sit down." He patted the desk beside him and warily, Lily obliged.

"I know you must have been shocked to find out I was Head Boy, I know I was," he repeated his words from earlier that day, "but I am going to try to do a good job. I really want to make this year matter, so I've decided that…I need to mature a bit. And you're the most mature person I know Evans, so I was hoping you'd help me."

"I think I've just been called old." Lily muttered under her breath, smiling a little. James's smile grew more pronounced. "You want to mature?" She asked doubtfully.

"Well, to an extent…" He grinned at her, his hazel eyes glinting. "I'm going to study and I'm going to try to make the best of this whole Head Boy thing. Who knew what Dumbledore was thinking when he made that decision."

Lily raised her eyebrows, impressed by his sudden turn around. "And no pranks, no bullying, no shirking your responsibilities?" She questioned.

"Well…no bullying or shirking my responsibilities." His trademark smirk was back. "Come on Evans, do you think the boys would really put up with me going completely tame?"

She shook her head, and, against her better judgement, smiled. James seemed to take this as encouragement because he began to speak again.

"I was thinking, over the break…" He said, and his voice was not the hurried excitement she'd been expecting, but thoughtful, and considered. "That it's only you and Alice in your dormitory now, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well Dorcas is off playing Quidditch and Pricilla moved back to the Continent. And Mary never came back after…fifth year." She replied questioningly, made very curious by his question.

"Well, the boys and I were talking about it on the train and we were thinking, being that there's only the six of us seventh year Gryffindor's left now, maybe we could help each other out? You know, with schoolwork and timetables and fitting everything in; even sit together at meals."

"Potter," Lily was astounded. "Are you suggesting that we be…friends?"

"Yes Evans, I guess I am." He grinned shiftily.

Lily thought for a second. It could be awfully lonely just her and Alice, but…to be friends with the infamous Marauders? James it seemed was trying to reform his ways, but what about the ever-mischievous Sirius? Or Peter, who followed the every move of his friends? Or even Remus, who had always taken a back seat to the more hare-brained of James and Sirius' schemes, but had never tried to put a stop to them either?

Were they trying o grow up as well, or was it just James? More to the point, could Lily really deal with the added distraction this year?

"I guess we could try that." Lily conceded slowly. She looked up beside her at James. "You've give me a lot to consider Potter; you're making my head spin."

"In a good way I hope." He winked at her.

She had to bite back a smile. That was the Potter she knew, through the change he had promised would be welcome, she almost hadn't recognized the boy-man she was sitting beside.

"I'm going up to bed Potter, it's almost midnight. Are you coming?"

"I just want to pack up here, you go ahead."

Lily stood up, stretching a little before she headed for the door. She paused, looking over her shoulder at James who was still propped against the desk.

"Goodnight Potter." She said, reaching for the door.

"Night Evans." He smiled back at her and watched the door click shut behind her.

James Potter stared at the door that Lily Evans had just exited and sighed deeply. Already he could tell that it was going to take a lot of effort on his part to undo the impression Lily had formed of him over the last six years. But he was determined.

This was his last shot with her and after six years of continual failure, he didn't think he could deal with anymore.

Despite what Lily may, and probably did, think, he wasn't just interested in her because she was beautiful, though, of course, that _had _been the original attraction.

It was because she was brave and kind and fierce willed, because she had never backed down from a fight and because she herself fought for what she wanted.

Sirius had suggested once that all he might be interested in was the chase that pursuing Lily Evans had become, but he knew that wasn't the case. He wanted to Lily to say yes to him; of course to kiss him, to hold her in his arms, not just one but every day, whenever he wanted.

He wanted to introduce her to his parents and meet hers, to find out what it had been like for her, finding out about this other world and making the transition from the Muggle to the magical. He wanted to make love to her, to make her call his name out in ecstasy, because he was right for her, better than anyone else and because he couldn't stand the idea that anybody else could ever make her feel like that.

He wanted her to say that he was hers, and he ached to call her his. If that wasn't love, he didn't know what was.

James thought back to the conversation he had had with his father at the beginning of the holidays. Harold Potter had sat his son down and asked him about his future and where he saw it going. James had hesitated, wanting to be honest with his father, but not wanting to sound like some infatuated teenager; because all that came into his head when he thought of his future was Lily Evans.

Harold knew his son well enough to sense his reluctance.

"What is it, son?"

"I want to be an Auror." James commented honestly, though that wasn't the foremost thing in his mind.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that James!" His father beamed, clapping him on the shoulder. "It's a lot of work but I'm confident you'll manage."

James nodded; his eyes downcast.

"And what else?" Harold asked, not at all fooled by his son's act.

James's hand jumped at his hair, tugging at it in frustration at its inability to do what he wanted. "You'll think I'm stupid, but I can't help it." He eyed his father. "There's this girl…"

Harold chucked lowly and James looked up apologetically.

"It's always a girl. Go on, son."

"I know you'll think I'm too young but I love her dad. She's constantly on my mind. She's so beautiful and smart and fiery. If I haven't spoken to her at the end of the day, I'm disappointed. I ask her out every opportunity I get, but she's never said yes. She thinks I'm an arrogant, conceited jerk."

"How do you know, how don't you know she likes you too?"

"She told me!" James burst out. "She tells me every chance she gets!"

"And what have you done to convince her otherwise?"

"What?" James was stumped.

"You say this girl thinks you're all these horrible things, what have you done to convince her you're not."

"Ummm…" He had no answer.

It was at that point Harold had taken pity on his son. "James, you say you love this girl, maybe you should show her. I'm not talking about asking her out, I'm talking about listening to what she tells you and acting on it. She doesn't like it when you hex people, stop. She thinks your arrogant, pull your head in.

"I'm not saying to change for her, just to show her your better side. You're a good person James, but I think you wear a façade of bravado when you're at school. Let it down a little bit; let her see the human side of you."

James was baffled. He had always known his father was a wise man, full of good advice, but never before had he made so much sense to him.

"Be myself, be human." James said, rolling the words around on his tongue. "Do you think she'd like that Lily?"

"If your Lily's anything like you've painted her to be, I think she won't be able to help but fall in love with you." Harold had replied warmly.

Now, sitting in an empty classroom as his new watch ticked over midnight, James remembered his father's words, coupled with the look of surprise in those haunting green eyes he loved so much, at his good behaviour.

She wasn't his Lily yet, but she would be.

**((XX))**

_And there we have it, chapter one. Thankyou for reading. Special thanks go to my beta CaseyCoops, who took this responsibility up at the very last moment and my amazing pre-reader Kait Hobbit, who's been with me and this story from the very start. Without the both of them, this story wouldn't be half what it is._

_I plan to update weekly, on Friday morning, Australian time, please adjust that to wherever in the world you might be reading from. I've written a lot of this story in advance, so I can promise a fairly regular updating schedule (save natural, uni-related, or personal disasters)._

_Please take the time to review. I'd love to know your opinions, good or bad. I can also promise all those who review a sneak peak of the next chapter, most likely by Wednesday night, my time._

_Once again, thankyou for reading and I swear not all my author's notes will be this long in the future._

_Sar. Xx. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: The characters, places and some content of this story are the property of the amazing Ms. Rowling, I can only dream of being as talented as her. The story line is my own. ** Chapter Two – Fiery

"_**Though art to me a delicious torment"**_

_**Ralph Waldo Emerson**_

"Potter, are you stalking me?" Lily demanded at lunch the next day.

James looked over at her and smiled lazily. "Not that I'm aware of, but I could if you wanted me to, Evans."

Lily harrumphed and swung out of her seat, marching over to where James sat with his friends. He had been in all three of the classes she'd had so far, as well as her free period.

"I'm serious, Potter…" James's best friend Sirius opened his mouth, but James cut him off with a smack across the head. "Since when have we done the same classes?"

"Since my after school ambitions changed I guess," he shrugged easily. "Are you going to leave poor Alice sitting there by herself or are you going to invite her up here to eat with us."

Disarmed by the thought of James Potter teaching her manners, Lily waved anxiously at Alice to join them. The girls squeezed in beside Remus and Peter and grabbed at the closest plate of sandwiches, the lunch hour was half over already, but they had been late to leave Transfiguration.

"What've you got next then?" James asked.

"Potions, and then Herbology," Lily replied.

"Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other this year then," James grinned at her.

"Looks like," she muttered.

Sirius grinned at the exchange going on between the pair. "Prongs is serious this year you know, or he wishes he was."

Remus and Peter smirked and James flicked the crust of his sandwich at Sirius.

"How's Frank, Alice?" Remus asked.

"He's doing really well," she said, and then began regaling the boys with second hand tales of Auror training. Lily, who had already heard them all, looked around, disinterested.

"How's the maturity thing coming today, Potter?" She asked.

"So far so good. I haven't hexed anyone yet," he replied jokingly.

"Why do I have the feeling that won't last long?"

"Some faith, Evans, please, you're wounding me," James said, laughing.

James, Remus, Alice and Lily walked to Potions together while Sirius and Peter went to enjoy the sunshine in their free period. The air grew colder as they wound further and further towards the dungeons and Lily was beginning to wonder if, despite her natural talent for the subject, taking Potions had really been such a good idea. It was always so cold in the dungeons, and the dampness of the air gave her an eerie sensation she could never quite shake. Perhaps it was her knowledge that the Slytherin's resided there that gave her the feeling that she was about to be ambushed at any moment. Though she would never admit it, she was secretly glad for the presence of Remus and James beside her.

The class size had shrunk considerably from the year before, many students obviously not meeting the requirements for entry into seventh year. Three Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff were already in the classroom by the time they made their way in, as well as a lone Slytherin, Severus Snape.

Lily did not acknowledge the presence of her former best friend as she entered the room and took a seat beside Remus. It had been months since she had spoken to Severus, but that didn't stop the pain that rippled through her every time she saw him. He looked unwell, his cheeks sunken and yellowing, his hair hanging unhealthily. She couldn't help but wonder how he had spent his summer. In their early years at Hogwarts, they had spent their holidays together, but their friendship had long since faded. Now he spent his time with his Death Eater friends and she spent time with…Marauders.

If the pain of his betrayal hadn't still been so raw she might have laughed, but as it was, she could still hear the words he had spoken to her eighteen months ago. _Mudblood. _

She swallowed back the pain in her throat as the potions master, Professor Slughorn, slowly made his way into the classroom, beaming at all of his students. His gaze fell last on Lily, who couldn't help but smile at the professor's enthusiasm. She knew that she was one of his favourite students, and, beyond reason, she was very fond of him in return. She knew his flaws, his surprise at learning she was Muggle-born was one of them, but he was a very good teacher, with very good connections, and it couldn't hurt to occasionally attend the dinner parties he enjoyed throwing.

"Welcome my dear students, to seventh year potions!" He clapped his hands together eagerly, eyes resting on each of them in turn. "So few of you have progressed through to our final year together, but I must say, it is good to see all of my old favourites back."

He beamed at them all and most of them managed to muster a smile back to him. "You're in for a long year, ladies and gentlemen. Or rather, a very short one, considering how much we have to do…"

Lily suppressed a sigh, this would be the fourth time she had heard this speech today. All of her professors seemed to think it was necessary to remind them of the importance of N.E.W.T. year, as if she needed the reminder, as if she wasn't stressed enough already…

"…so we'll jump straight into it. Today you're going to brew a growth potion for me. A strong one at that, the type they use in St Mungo's to re-grown bones and the like, before the invention of Skele-Gro, that is," he said with a hearty laugh. "I'm showing my age, I fear; I dare say none of you remember the days before that remarkable little potion. Regardless, it shouldn't take you long to give it a go. Please remember that this is a Healer level potion and I don't expect you to perfect it in this lesson. Off you trot!" He exclaimed happily.

Lily set to work immediately, flipping her book open and finding the page with the necessary instructions on it. She unpacked her potions kit, immediately set her cauldron brewing and got to work. She was in her element, potions was her best subject, or at least equal with charms, and she didn't want to start they year off badly as she had in Transfiguration. (It hadn't taken a lot of effort on Professor McGonagall's part to correct her mistake with the trunk, and honestly she had never specified that the luggage had to be hair free.) The hour went by faster than any other lesson that day and when Slughorn told them to step away from their cauldrons, she was reasonably confident she had done well. She certainly hoped so. The potion had required constant stirring and the heat from the fire had left a gleam of sweat on her forehead and had caused her previously tame red locks to spring into a riot of frizzy curls. She smoothed them down as Slughorn made his way around the desks. The general consensus seemed to be that everyone had managed a passable potion. Slughorn reached the table before theirs, Snape's and peered into his cauldron.

"You certainly do like to experiment with the instructions don't you m'boy?" Slughorn laughed good-naturedly. "Of course that's the making of a true potioneer, trying to improve what already exists, but I would suggest that, being your N.E.W.T year, you stick to the directions if you intend to get good marks."

Snape sneered at Slughorn's copious retreating backside.

He peered into Remus's potion and commended his effort, he told James that with practice it would improve, but it was a decent first effort. Finally, he looked into Lily's, clapping his hands like a small child.

"A wonderful first attempt. Marvellous, Miss Evans, as usual! Ten points to Gryffindor. I think we're done here, ladies and gentleman; you may leave."

Lily had worked right until the last moment of their allotted time, so she had to hang back to clean up her working area. She wasn't the only one; one of the Ravenclaws whom Lily was friendly with, Marcia Honeyland, Snape, and James were all still packing their things away when Slughorn left the dungeons. Marcia finished first, saying goodbye to Lily and promising to catch up with her soon. Lily noticed that James had finished, but seemed to be waiting for her. She flushed and moved to hurry. They did both have Herbology after all, perhaps it was normal for him to wait for her. Any of her other… friends… would have done the same.

Side by side and without a word Lily and James left the classroom. Halfway up the corridor, Lily sensed eyes trained on her back and turned around. James paused, waiting.

Severus Snape was behind them, looking at James with unveiled loathing.

"You can go you now, Potter," he spat at him. "I just wanted a word with Lily."

"That's fine, Snape, I'll just wait here. Evans and I have Herbology together," James replied, obviously with as much civility as he could muster.

Severus flushed angrily but seemed determined to ignore James. Lily could only imagine the effort they were both exerting to not curse each other.

"What do you want Severus?" She asked coolly.

"I just…wanted to know…how your summer was?"

"Fine. Same as ever."

"I missed you, you know. Summer isn't the same without you. Remember how we used to spend every day at the park?"

Lily did remember, and she too missed the carefree days of dreaming of their next year back at Hogwarts. The memories brought a lump to her throat that she swallowed painfully against. Those days were long gone. Severus had chosen his path and she'd chosen hers, those paths would never meet, different as they were. There was no going back.

"You don't have to hang around Potter and his friends just because all of your girlfriends have left," he told her.

"Not all of my…" She went to say, but he kept talking.

"You could come and hang out with me. I think you'd like my friends if you gave them a chance," he lowered his voice, his eyes wild with anticipation. "They can teach you magic you'd never even…"

Lily fought with the urge to reach for her wand, overpowering as it was. Somehow, she lost the fight, and Severus Snape lay sprawling on the ground some twenty feet away from her, his wand in her hand.

"I am not a Death Eater, I don't want to know any Dark magic and I don't want to be friends with people that do!" She yelled at him, before chucking his wand back at him, turning on her heel, and marching towards James Potter, who looked positively gleeful.

"You cursed him, Evans; I saw you!" He exclaimed. "I promised no hexing and you did it for me! That was brilliant!"

Lily rolled her eyes at him and, still angry, stormed away from him, out of the Entrance Hall and into the sunshine. It was a beautiful day outside but that didn't calm Lily's mood any. She couldn't believe what she'd just done, and in front of James Potter nonetheless! He'd never let her live this down!

**((XX))**

James let Lily storm ahead of him, still chortling at the sight of her sending Snape flying with the strength of her _expelliarmus_. He trailed behind her, outside, watching her magnificently red hair, curly from the heat of the potions room, bouncing behind her as she stalked. That was his brilliant, beautiful, fiery girl. He almost burst with pride. She really was more like him then she thought, cursing Snape! He couldn't wait to tell the boys.

He finally allowed himself to catch up with her as they neared the greenhouses. He was only a couple of meters away when he called out to her.

"Evans!"

She turned and glared openly at him.

"Nicely done, Red."

She stared at him and then grinned, looking a little sheepish, but still proud of herself.

He couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped his throat as they entered the greenhouses.

That fiery redhead with the beautiful green eyes and frightening temper, that was his girl.

Or at least, he desperately hoped she would be.

**((XX))**

The clock has just chimed eleven and Lily was one of the few left in the Common Room, she was struggling with the Herbology essay they'd be assigned that day. Even though it wasn't due for a week she wanted to get it out of the way, she was feeling the pressure of their N.E.W.T year already, essays in every subject! She could have given it up for the night, she had done over half of it already, but secretly, she was waiting for James to get back from his first patrol, she wanted to know how it had gone.

Everyone else had long since said goodnight. Alice was upstairs pouring over her first letter from Frank, Peter had given up on his homework and had gone to bed with a Quidditch magazine and Sirius had snuck off with a sixth year girl some hours ago, refusing to wither under her glare. Personally, she hoped James would interrupt them on his patrol, when he wouldn't have a choice but to give his best friend detention. She smiled grimly at the thought.

It had just ticked over eleven thirty and Lily was beginning to worry, not that she would have admitted that to Remus who sat opposite her working on his Transfiguration essay, his brow furrowed. James should have returned an hour ago, what could possibly be keeping him?

Lily has just resolved to talk Remus into going searching for James when the portrait burst open and James stumbled through. He looked so harried and, was Lily imagining it, or where his eyebrows singed?

Remus was on his feet before James was fully through the portrait hole and Lily followed suit. James raised a hand to them, as if letting them know he was all right, as he caught his breath. Lily sunk back down in her seat, her brain churning. What in the name of Merlin had happened on his patrol?

Remus conjured a goblet of pumpkin juice and handed it to James. Lily envied his calmness; he'd obviously dealt with James in situations like this before.

"Had a duel with some fourth year Slytherins, not a big deal." He told them as he gulped down the juice. He took in Lily's shocked expression and continued. "I saw one of them, out of bounds in the dungeons and followed. They were having some secretive meeting that I was rude enough to interrupt. They weren't very happy with me for breaking up their little tea party and a bit of a scuffle ensued." He couldn't help but grin. "Who says you're the only one that gets to curse Slytherins, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes at him, for what felt like the eight hundredth time that day.

"What happened then?"

"Slughorn heard the noise and arrived, eventually. He marched the boys off to Dumbledore and told it was a good thing I was better at duelling than brewing potions." Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. "They were only fourth years." He yawned widely. "Think I might have a shower before bed. Don't study too hard, you two." He winked at them and made his way towards the boys' dormitories.

Lily watched James's retreating back and didn't bother to suppress a sigh as soon as he was out of earshot.

"You're taking this very calmly," she mentioned to Remus.

"When your best friends are James and Sirius, you kind of get used to things like this," he smirked. "Though at least this time it wasn't his fault."

Lily nodded her agreement, _at least_.

**((XX))**

By eight the next morning, James and Lily found themselves in Professor Dumbledore's office.

"I will admit to you, James, Lily, that I was deeply disturbed by what occurred last night. Not without some coercion did I manage to discover that the group you disturbed last night James, were planning an attack on Muggle born students, in order to prove themselves to an older group. Apparently they are not the only younger students attempting to impress this group in order to gain admittance to its ranks." Professor Dumbledore looked troubled as he ran a hand over his aging face. "It is quite unbelievable that we ought to be facing something such as this on the second day of the semester, or at all rather. We managed to extract some information about the nature of the group the young men were hoping to join, but nothing else. The teachers and I are acting to resolve this matter as quickly as possible, but until then, we will be very reliant on the two of you, as our Head students, to report anything you hear and to do your best to maintain order in the school. The safety of our students is our first priority, especially when it appears those students with a Muggle heritage are being targeted." His eyes fell to rest on Lily as he said the last.

"What did you want us to do exactly Sir?" She asked anxiously.

"Your main duties will be at night. During the day we ask you to keep your eyes and ears open for any word of trouble, but you will be most useful to us in the evenings. Your prefects will patrol the corridors from eight to ten every night, using whatever rotation scheme you prefer. From ten till midnight we shall ask you to take over the patrol. I know that is quite late, so I have rearranged your timetables to ensure that your morning free period occurs first thing, enabling you to lie in a bit if you so desire. Your other free period will occur during last lesson, allowing you more time to do your days homework. After midnight the teachers will take over, but we do like our leisure time as well you know." His eyes twinkled merrily and Lily couldn't help but smile affectionately in response to her headmaster.

"Most importantly we expect you to patrol together every night. You may substitute occasionally with seventh year prefects if they agree, but it is vital that this task is carried out in pairs." He looked at them over the rims of his half-moon glasses and Lily could never remember seeing their headmaster look so serious. "This is particularly important in regards to you, Miss Evans. Please do not think I doubt your abilities when I say this, but it is vital that you are accompanied on every patrol. You are a brilliant witch, Head Girl, and born to Muggle parents. We would be foolish to think that you will not be a target for these trouble makers schemes."

James saw Lily's eyes widen with surprise, defiance, and a little fear. All of a sudden, James Potter had internally erupted with a burning anger towards any and all pureblood fanatics who harboured any ill thoughts towards his Lily. Under the omniscient gaze of his headmaster, James struggled to bring himself under control.

**((XX))**

Control was indeed, something that James felt himself struggling with as September drew to an end and October began. Control to keep his manners intact, to be mature, to not hex anybody that didn't deserve it. Control to keep his hands and declarations to himself in those two hours every night he spent alone with Lily Evans every evening. And on a Sunday afternoon in mid September, James felt his control being tempted in a way he had never experienced before.

One could not really describe James Potter and Lily Evans as friends. Though they didn't sit together in most of their classes, they did walk to class together, they ate the occasional meal together and some nights would share a table in the common room to work together. In all these instances they were surrounded by their friends but during their rounds, as they tried to prevent the attacks on Muggle-borns that were still occurring, albeit without frequency, they were alone.

Their conversations as they made their way around the castle in the late hours were about nothing in particular. School work, how tired they were, Quidditch and the weather. James cracked jokes and Lily would occasionally congratulate him on his more mature behaviour. There was nothing significant about them, nothing to make James look forward to it all day, except for the fact that he got to spend time with Lily.

Convincing her that he had changed was harder than anticipated. Six years had ingrained in her the sure knowledge that James Potter was a troublemaker. He didn't want that to change, but he had moved on from anything cruel, he was desperate for her to see what those closest to him saw, the trouble maker with the good heart, who, despite his penchant for trouble, would do anything for those he loved.

So he knew he had to control himself, had to prove to her that he wasn't the immature little boy she thought of him as. But on that Sunday afternoon, James was as far from a little boy as he could ever be.

He had watched her work all weekend, without breaks. Constantly with her head down, constantly working, doing essay after essay, practicing spell after spell. Alice had worked beside her nearly all weekend, but at the delivery of a package from Frank, Alice had been sufficiently distracted, and had managed to distract Lily as well.

"Would you look at what Frank's sent?" James heard Alice laugh from across the common room. "He's in Anatolia for training, but I think he's gone a bit overboard, you'll have to help me eat these Lily."

James snuck a peak from behind his hair to see Alice brandishing a large box in Lily's face.

"It's a good thing I skipped lunch," she laughed and on Alice's insistence reached her hand into the box, grabbed a perfect, red cherry and drew it between her lips.

In that instant, James went to heaven and hell in the same moment,

Because watching Lily Evans open her little pink mouth, put a cherry in whole and work her tongue until the seed and stem where all that remained was pure torture. Sweet, delirious, intoxicating, arousing torture. A drop of cherry juice slid down her chin and, with a laugh, she caught it and sucked her finger into her mouth.

James's desire erupted like a volcano, it seemed she was determined to be the death of him. The year it had been since he had last touched a woman stretched painfully behind him and suddenly he was desperate for the feeling of lips on his, a body in his arms, the exquisite feeling of release. But he'd given that all up, long before the conversation with his father, because no matter how much he'd pretended, he'd realised halfway through sixth year that he couldn't delude himself any longer, he could no longer pretend that the hands that cupped him, the bodies that he moved in, the lips that harshly smacked against his, were Lily's. Because the school sluts that had readily given themselves to him could never be compared to the loving innocence that making love to Lily would be.

He shook his head to clear it as she bit into another cherry. Though he appeared to be wrapped in his potions textbook, he was actually observing every of her movements with rapt attention, as he ached for release.

Because watching Lily Evans eat a cherry was better than pounding into a thousand different girls. Watching Lily Evans eat a cherry was like making love.

**((XX))**

_Welcome once again and thank you for reading._

_To those of you who reviewed chapter one and didn't receive your sneak peak of this chapter, I apologise, technological issues stopped me from delivering what I promised. However I believe I've fixed the problem and can hopefully send a preview of next chapter to all those who review._

_Thanks as always to my wonderful team, Casey and Kait, I couldn't continue to publish this without you both and your zombie-like tendencies._

_Remember, reviews are love. James loves reviews._

_Have a safe and happy week everybody!_

_SC. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**** Anything you recognise belongs to the amazingly talented J.K, I'm just dabbling in the amazing playground she's created for us all. In saying that, this story belongs to me, and cannot be reproduced without my permission. **

Three – As Good As 'I Love You'

"_**What's in a name? That which we call a rose**_

_**By any other name would smell as sweet"**_

**Romeo and Juliet (II, ii 1-2)**

**William Shakespeare**

The last week of October brought with it bitterly cold winds that lashed against the walls of the castle, making its inhabitants shiver and dig out their scarves, mittens and woollen jumpers. Quidditch teams languished in the conditions and subjects such as Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology were suddenly dreaded, for attending those classes required walking through the grounds in winds so severe that several of the smaller first years had actually been picked up by it, and carried to wherever it was that it decided to die out.

It was these conditions that Lily Evans and James Potter ran from late one day in the first week of November. Lily had never hoped more for rain, anything to get rid of this wretched wind that howled against the castle late at night, keeping her from the few hours of sleep she was so desperately in need of and distracting her from her lessons.

And, she thought wryly, as they paused in the Entrance Hall to catch their breaths and her hands immediately shot up, one of the worst things about the wind was the way it tangled and snarled her now almost mid-back length hair.

She noticed James's attention drawn to her hair. He appeared to be fascinated by her futile attempts to calm it. "You're growing your hair out again," he commented matter of factly. "It's long."

Lily just nodded, now running her wand through her hair, trying to keep the flush from her cheeks at her reasoning to why she'd cut it to her shoulders in the first place.

"It was long in first year," James said thoughtfully, "but you've had it shorter ever since; why the change?"

Lily looked over at him, wondering whether to tell him the truth or to make something up. He was so fixed on being mature these days, and he was doing a good job of it so far, that why shouldn't he know the truth? Lily's mother had often told her that part of being an adult was accepting your actions, so why shouldn't James face his, no matter how petty it seemed.

And truthfully, she was being just a little vindictive.

"I never had it that short." She said defensively, as they made their way up the stairs. "I cut it in second year after you used that permanent sticking charm on it, I didn't want to tempt you into doing it again." She told him and to his credit, he looked horrified, before he rearranged his features into a more acceptable expression.

They continued up the stairs in silence for several minutes until James spoke again. "So does the fact that your hair's long again mean that you trust me now?"

Lily laughed a little. "No, Potter. It just means that I've decided I like my hair better long and you're not worth worrying about anymore."

"You trust me," he proclaimed with the customary smirk that she hated so much. She glared at him and continued her way up the stairs.

James ignored her glare and continued in step beside her.

"How'd you do on the Transfiguration essay we got back today?" He asked and Lily wondered why he was so determined to make conversation when silence normally suited them both well.

Lily thought about the paper that she had in her bag and her brow furrowed unconsciously. Her grades were slipping in Professor McGonagall's class and no matter how hard she worked she couldn't seem to get them back to the level she was accustomed to.

"Oh, alright," She muttered under her breath, studying the carpet. "I got an E."

James couldn't help but laugh. Only Lily Evan's would be disappointed with an Exceeds Expectations.

Lily glared up at his laughter, frowning. "What did you get then?"

James's hand immediately went to his hair, a gesture, Lily had noticed, he seemed to be performing less and less these days.

"An O," he told her.

If Lily had been disappointed with her mark before it was nothing to what she felt now. To have Potter beat her was a humiliating experience that could not be allowed to happen again. Lily didn't think of herself as a bad loser; she just wasn't accustomed to being beaten, especially by James Potter. Thankfully, at that moment, they were passing the library, Lily's sanctuary and her place to turn to in times of doubt.

"Well done," she told him honestly, and she meant it. She was glad James was doing well and taking his final year seriously, but she wanted to be doing just as well as he was, and Transfiguration had always been her weak point. "I've got some things to do in the library; I'll see you at rounds tonight."

She ducked away before he had a chance to protest or say goodbye. Lily immediately dumped her bag on a table and immersed herself in the stacks of the Transfiguration section.

Lily only left the library at a few minutes to ten in order to meet James and start their patrol. She'd put several solid hours of work into her next Transfiguration essay, but she still felt as though she wasn't grasping the concept as well as she could. It was very frustrating. She could feel her weariness growing as she climbed the stairs on the way to the Head's office.

James wasn't there when she gave the password and let herself in. She loved the Heads' office; it was perfectly round, the turret of one of the smaller towers. The office itself was bright and welcoming, and off of it were two bedrooms, one for each of the Heads. Both James and Lily had decided against using the beautiful bedrooms within. Lily because she didn't want to leave Alice alone in their dormitory, and she presumed James had stayed in the boys' dormitory for a similar reason. The loyalty he had for his friends really was one of his better qualities she reflected on as she waited, but she'd never been able to dispute that, even when she'd despised the very ground he walked on.

The clock above the mantelpiece chimed ten just as the portrait hole opened and James climbed through. Unlike her, he'd changed out of his school uniform and Lily couldn't help but notice how well he wore the jeans and jumper that fit snugly around his muscles. It must be delirium she decided, from too much study and lack of food. She was suddenly very conscious however, of the creases in her skirt and shirt, the limp knot of her tie and her still unmanageable hair. She told herself she was being ridiculous. It was Potter; there was no reason to care what she looked like. It wasn't a date, it was just patrol.

She mentally cursed herself; definitely delirious.

James looked at her up and down and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Have you been studying all night?" He asked incredulously.

Lily shrugged defensively, expecting James to laugh, but, to her surprise, he actually seemed to be mad at her.

"Merlin, Lily, it's just one essay," he shook his head at her as they climbed out the portrait hole. "It's not the end of the world."

"It's not just one essay," she muttered back, still on the defensive. "My marks have been slipping in Transfiguration all year."

"You ought to take a leaf out of Sirius's book." James told her, grinning now.

"And not care at all?" She rolled her eyes.

"It's not that he doesn't care, it's that he sees it as an accomplishment to get whatever mark he can with little effort." Lily didn't miss the note of affection in James's voice.

"I wish I could be that nonchalant," Lily sighed. "But Sirius is like you, he's got it made." She was suddenly frustrated. "It doesn't matter how well you do at school, you've got your family fortune to fall back on, your pureblood status, your faces," she resisted the urge to snort. "I don't have any of that."

"Well," James said "to be fair, you do have the face."

She threw him a withering glaze.

"But seriously Evans, do you think either Sirius or I really want to 'fall back' on all of that." He was suddenly very serious. "Do you think I want to be known for being a Potter? I'd much rather be known for getting good marks, or a good job, or playing Quidditch for England. Do you think I care about a person's blood status?"

Lily looked up at James in surprise. Was he lecturing her about being shallow?

"Did you know that Sirius stays with my family for the holidays now? Ever since fifth year; he doesn't have anything to do with his family and he doesn't want to either. He couldn't deal with their obsession with blood status, so he left. All his money was left to him by an uncle who'd been disowned as well."

Lily couldn't help but stare at James in shock. "I didn't mean…. I was just trying to explain….that….in the wizarding world at least I've got nothing to fall back on except my brains. No money, or status, I have to make those for myself." She stumbled, very taken aback.

James's mood suddenly lightened and he threw his arm around Lily's shoulder in a friendly gesture.

"I'll marry you darling and you'll never have to worry about money ever again. You can spend the rest of your life looking after me and the dozen or so little Potters we've had because you couldn't keep your hands off me."

Lily pushed him away but couldn't help but laugh.

"You're a toerag, James Potter," she told him, but her laughter rather spoiled the effect of her words.

They continued to walk, and were winding their way up from the dungeons when Lily yawned loudly. She was exhausted, classes all day and then studying all night had really taken it out of her.

"You seem tired, Evans," James commented.

"I am. I'm already looking forward to Christmas break."

"I didn't see you at dinner," he pressed.

"That's because I didn't go."

She turned to meet James's frustrated gaze. "There's such a thing as taking schoolwork too seriously, Evans." He said, and to Lily's ears it sounded as if he was chiding her. "You can't skip meals to study; you'll make yourself ill doing that. Aren't you hungry?"

"A little," Lily admitted. "I've got a liquorice wand in my trunk. I was going to eat that when we finished our patrol."

James shook his head at her.

"Sometimes, Evans, I think that despite all your brains, you really are a bit daft." Before Lily had time to be offended he continued. "Come with me, I'll get you some food."

She hesitated.

"Patrol's almost over, we haven't seen anything, it's dead tonight, not even any snogging couples to bust." He grinned at her. "I'll show you Hogwarts at its best."

Curious, but still a little unwilling, Lily followed.

They didn't have far to walk, James stopped in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. Leaning forward, he tickled the pear, which giggled as the portrait swung forward. James climbed through first and Lily hurried after him.

They were in the kitchens, Lily surmised almost immediately. She had never been here before, technically students weren't allowed to, but she was sure it must have been one of the most abused rules in the school.

The portrait had only just swung shut behind them when at least a dozen house elves were waiting at their feet. They all seemed to know James and he seemed to know them as he greeted them by name.

"I know I haven't been to visit in a while. I'm sorry, Tweedle." He apologised to an elf that seemed to be telling him off. "I'm on the straight and narrow this year. Everyone this is Miss Lily Evans. Miss Evans had to skip dinner tonight and I was wondering if you could fix her something."

The elves immediately jumped to attention, seemingly delighted to have someone to serve.

"What would you be wishing to eat Miss?" One of the elves squeaked and Lily hesitated.

"How about some vegetable soup and bread?" James suggested and the elves immediately disappeared, hurrying to fix their snack.

James led Lily over to a small bench surrounded by stools and they sat down.

"That's my favourite." Lily commented as they sat. "How did you know?"

"I guessed." James shrugged. "You always seem happy when they serve it."

In the blink of an eye the elves were back, placing bowls of soup, a loaf of crusty buttered bread and a jug of pumpkin juice in front of them.

"Was there anything else, Mr. James Potter, sir?"

"No, thank you Dilly, this is marvellous." James winked at the elves and they all beamed at him before disappearing.

"They all know you." Lily questioned, digging into her soup without hesitation. It was delicious as usual.

James shrugged again.

"I've spent a fair bit of time in here over the years. If you're nice to them they're very attentive."

They ate steadily for several minutes without discussion. Lily was silently contemplating the new James Potter sitting opposite her. The James Potter that wanted to make a name for himself; that chided her for not eating and was nice to house elves. If she had already been struggling to come to terms with the more mature James she'd been introduced to this year, her head was now spinning. It was like stepping into an alternate universe.

The second they had both placed their spoons in the bowls the elves were by their sides again.

"Would sir and miss be wanting pie?" They asked hopefully.

James looked at her and Lily shook her head regretfully. She really was very full.

"No, thank you." James smiled at them. "It was all excellent. But we really should be going."

"It was lovely." Lily said to the house-elves as they stood to leave. "Thank you so much."

They beamed at her happily and bowed them out of the kitchens.

It was just after midnight when they left the kitchens. Lily suggested one final check of the castle and James agreed. It didn't take long and soon they were back in the Gryffindor Common Room again. The Common Room was empty and Lily was exhausted, she didn't intend to linger.

"Thanks for that, Potter." She said as they prepared to head towards their separate dormitories.

"Not a problem." He smiled at her. "No more skipping dinner." He wagged his finger at her and she laughed. "Night, Evans."

"Goodnight." She said as they turned and headed their separate ways. She was about to step onto the spiral staircase when she hesitated.

"James!" She called, surprised to hear herself call him anything except Potter or jerk or toerag. His eyes widened in surprise as he turned to face her. She almost chickened out then, but felt compelled to tell him what she'd just realized. "You're alright."

"Thanks, Evans," he called back, his voice full of laughter.

"No problem. Night," she called, before continuing up the staircase.

James watched her go, her red hair dancing behind her as she wearily climbed the staircase. Dissimilarly, he was filled with a sudden energy as he sprinted up the stairs towards the dormitory he shared with his friends. He burst through the door and jumped on Peter, who let out a very rat-like squeak of surprise and attempted to push James off his bed.

His efforts were futile. James was already gone, running to the next bed and ruffling Remus's hair before pumping his fist and completing his victory lap of the room.

"Had a good patrol, Prongs?" Sirius asked calmly, from where he sat on his bed, flicking through a motorbike magazine.

"She called me James!" He gasped, flopping spread-eagle on his bed and grinning like a love-struck fool. "It's working; she thinks I'm a real person!"

"As opposed to what?" Sirius laughed.

"Whatever she thought I was like; bullying toerag, a jerk, whatever!"

"She's finally noticed you've deflated your head a bit." Remus smiled.

"I even made a joke about marrying her and she didn't curse me." He blabbered on, not hearing his friends' words. "I called her darling and everything."

"I don't know what's going on." Peter said nervously, fidgeting with the sleeve of his pyjamas in bed.

"You're not the only one, mate. We're all waiting for Prongsey here to explain himself." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"We were on patrol and she'd been studying all night. She's stressed about Transfiguration," he explained, grinning broadly. "She said something about how I didn't have to worry about marks because I had the Potter name and fortune to fall back on and I told her if she was really worried I'd marry her and we'd have twelve kids and she'd never have to worry about money again."

"Twelve?" Remus laughed disbelievingly.

"Yeah, well, she can't keep her hands to herself in my dream land," James explained blithely before continuing. "She'd skipped dinner so I took her down to the kitchens. Well, I couldn't have her going hungry!" He exclaimed in response to his friends' disbelieving stares. "And after we ate we came back upstairs and said goodnight and then she turned around and says '_James, you're alright.'_" He finished impressively, still grinning at the memory.

His friends were staring at him.

"She called me James! James, not Potter! She's never called me James."

"Maybe she just realised it was your name," Sirius reasoned fairly. James flicked his wand in his direction and Sirius deflected the curse with a lazy flourish of his wand.

"And then she said 'you're alright'," he sighed. "It's working. She doesn't hate me anymore."

"I don't think she ever hated you Prongs," Remus told him.

"Thanks, Moony." James beamed at him.

"So that's what she said, you're alright." Peter echoed, still looking confused.

"To be fair," Sirius reasoned, "to James, getting that from Lily is as good as _'I love you.'_"

**((XX))**

Lily was sitting in the common room trying to study; it was a Saturday afternoon and the weather was so bitter that it forced all the students to spend their day off inside. The common room was unusually loud and busy as a result, but Lily persevered; the common room was much more pleasant than the library, warm and welcoming and with no shortage of distractions if she wanted to be distracted.

A group of fifth year girls sat not far from Lily, giggling and whispering insistently. Lily knew each of them by name, if not personally and was restraining herself from telling them off. They were just trying to enjoy their day off, she told herself, wishing she had the same luxury. Though, as O.W.L students, they really ought to be studying.

It appeared they had other matters on their minds.

The girls finally approached her, giving Lily an opportunity to lay down her quill and stretch. They hovered close by her and she smiled at them, wondering what they wanted.

"Something on your mind, girls?" she asked eventually when none of them spoke.

"We were just wondering," one girl named Chandra Brown began, "if you know if it's true about James Potter?"

"If what's true?" Lily asked, old habits dying hard as she rolled her eyes at the idea of all the trouble he could have found for himself.

"That….he's changing, trying to mature. Not sleeping around or cursing people. Apparently he's actually studying!" another girl exclaimed excitedly.

"Anyway," Chandra continued. "We figured, being that you're Head Girl and he's Head Boy, you might know." Lily did not miss the sly look the girls gave each other, but she couldn't pretend to understand it either.

Lily thought about it. The girls were right. She couldn't remember the last time James had cursed someone, at least not just for amusement's sake. And he did study; he was taking his Head Boy duties seriously, to her surprise. He was more respectful towards everyone, her especially. He still joked and teased, played the occasional prank, but none of it was done in malice these days. She wasn't sure about the sleeping around, but she doubted it. She barely had time to sleep at all in between study and Head Girl duties and he had Quidditch practice on top of that. She hadn't heard any rumours in quite a while, through last year in fact, and James Potter had never been one to keep his sex life a closely guarded secret.

She looked up at the girls with a small smile. "I guess so. He's been acting surprisingly mature all term. Studying and taking things seriously and not cursing people who don't deserve it. I don't know about the sleeping around, you'd have to ask him about that, but as far as I know he's actually acting like an adult these days."

The girls thanked her and scuttled away as Lily turned back to her homework. She was oblivious to the girls' discussions from the opposite end of the Common Room, where they decided that if it was true that James Potter had changed his way to gain Lily Evan's affections, and it certainly seemed to be true, that she at least, had no idea.

**((XX))**

Several hours later Lily sat in the same seat she had been in all those hours before, still working on the same horrid essay and desperate for a distraction. It was after midnight and the common room was almost empty now, except for those sixth and seventh years either too desperately behind on their homework to turn in, or too desperate for some time alone, as was the case with Sirius and the sixth year girl who was wrapped around him in an armchair. Lily had been working fervently on a paragraph for the last fifteen minutes, struck by a sudden inspiration and unwilling to lose it. Finally, she added her last full stop and with a sigh, put her quill down and went to stretch. Only to find she was quite unable…

Tensing, Lily went to look around, once again, she was unable, her hair pulled as she tried to rotate her neck. Insight suddenly hit her, the rogue!

Quite determined not to show the toerag that she had realised his joke she swallowed the laughter that was building in her throat. This was her opportunity to have some fun with him, turn the tables; it was her turn to make him squirm, instead of the other way around.

Jerking back on her hair Lily cried out, causing everyone in the Common Room to stare at her. She snuck a look at James out of the corner of her eye; he was watching her with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Oh no!" She cried out, her hands reaching for her hair and tugging on it uselessly. "My hair, it's stuck!"

James's hidden smile had turned into a large grin. She grabbed her wand and muttered the counter charm, freeing her hair from James Potter's trickery. As soon as she was free she buried her face in her hands, mainly to disguise her laughter, but also because it wouldn't hurt for James to think he'd really upset her.

"James Potter, how could you?" She cried, peering secretly at him from between her fingers, he looked so taken-a-back that she almost laughed aloud. "A permanent sticking charm, just like in second year! And I had to cut off all my hair because I was so afraid you'd do it again and everyone made fun of me and said I looked like a boy." She continued to wail.

The look of surprise on James's face before was nothing to the appalled expression on his face now. It was enough to convince Lily that she was playing her role very well.

"You're so cruel, James. And after I defended you to those girls today! They wanted to know if you'd changed and I said yes! I told them you'd matured and you were acting like an adult and then you have to curse me again! How could you?"

"You defended me?" he asked; his voice surprisingly close and very pained.

"Yes, I thought you'd changed. Don't I feel silly now!"

"Listen…Evans….I'm sorry…it was just….for old times sake….I didn't realize…"

James's apology was cut off however as Lily jumped to her feet, her wand in her hand and swished it through the air silently. There were several gasps as James Potter's famous dark locks began to grow suddenly and rapidly. Growing down to his waist and continuing to grow, wrapping around his feet, Lily's chair and snaking over to the table and the couch beside it, thoroughly entangling him while he stared in confusion.

Lily looked at the bewildered expression on his face and lost her composure completely. She fell into her seat, howling with laughter, tears rolling down her cheeks as everyone else in the common room began to laugh, and James struggled to entangle himself.

"You… you were… faking!" he gasped, looking at her in astonishment.

"It's about time I got you for a change," Lily laughed, vanishing the yards of hair with a simple flick of her wand.

"And you have to admit, Prongs, she did get you," Sirius put in, grinning broadly at Lily from around the embrace of the girl in the chair.

With a final grin Lily went back to her work, feeling as though she truly had accomplished something that evening.

Meanwhile, James Potter, back to his normal cropped hair self, practically skipped over to where Remus and Peter were still massaging the stitches in their sides from their laughter.

"Did you hear that?" he exclaimed, beaming at them. "She said she thinks I've changed, she's defending me!"

**((XX))**

_Welcome back to Fait Accompli and once again thanks for reading._

_Thanks as always to the wonderful team FA, Kait and Casey, possibly the most overworked beta-ing team on _

_Reviews are appreciated and always considered, James and I love reading them and once again we can promise all who review a preview of the next chapter._

_Have a safe and happy week everyone!_

_SC._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**** Anything you recognise belongs to the amazing Ms. Rowling, the contents of this story are mine, and should be treated as such. **

**((XX))**

Four – Like a Rash

"_**We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us"**_

**Francois Rabelais**

In anticipation of the first Quidditch match of the season the wind that had battered the castle abruptly turned north, heading out towards the sea. In its place however came rain; torrential, bone-numbing, drenching rain.

In spite of this, or perhaps because of it, the opening match of the season between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff had never been more hotly anticipated. Older students brushed up on their warming and water proofing spells, while the younger students watched with fascination, desperate to learn them themselves. Lily found herself beseeched with requests from first, second and third years to teach them any charm that might keep them dry and warm, to the point where she asked Professor Flitwick if he could make time for the charms in class.

Lily could understand their excitement however. She herself was unusually eager for the match, the Friday night before it was to be held. It was most likely due however, to the fact she was wandering around the castle with the Gryffindor team captain, hearing all the tactics and plans that were pouring out of him in his nervously energetic state.

"I can do this by myself if you want to get some sleep?" Lily offered as they wound their way down towards the potions classroom. "You've got to be at your best tomorrow."

"How much money have you got on the match?" James grinned at her.

Lily couldn't stop her flush.

"Five galleons, but that's not why I was offering."

"I know," James smiled at her with perhaps a little too much warmth. "But I never sleep much before a match anyway, so I may as well do something productive. And tell you what, if we lose, I'll pay your bet up for you."

"You're on," Lily grinned at him.

"Besides," James continued. "I wouldn't want to deprive you of the pleasure of my company."

Lily rolled her eyes at him and refused to comment as they reached the final corridor of the dungeons.

"Is it just me or has it got really hot down here?" Lily asked, feeling a breath of heat wash over her.

James's head snapped to her and his eyebrows rose suggestively.

"Seriously James, can't you feel that?"

"I can now you mention it." He frowned around the corridor, loosening his tie to allow some air at his neck. "It's sweltering."

Lily followed his lead, loosening her tie and, when she was sure James wasn't looking, popped open the top few buttons of her school shirt. She almost laughed when she realised that James had done the same thing when their backs where to each other. Fanning herself with her hand, Lily kept walking.

"Ahhhh, that's better," she heard from behind her.

She turned around; James was in the process of untucking his shirt from his pants. She blushed furiously, hiding her face so he didn't see.

"You've gotta do it Evans," he told her. "If we're going to find out what's going on down here, we need to be able to think clearly."

Still blushing, Lily had to admit he was right, she quickly grabbed the tails of her shirt from her skirt and had to admit, it did feel better.

"It's the middle of November for Merlin's sake," she cursed as they looked around. "Why is it so damn hot?"

"Think he might know?" James asked, nodding down the hallway.

Lily turned around to see Professor Slughorn hurrying towards them, mopping his brow with a handkerchief and looking thoroughly harassed.

"Mr Potter, Miss Evans, what a to-do!" He cried as he drew close to them.

"What's happened Professor?" James asked his voice respectful and polite. Lily resisted the urge to stare at him.

"My second year potions class convinced me to teach them a warming potion this afternoon," he told them, shaking his head at his own foolishness. "They were quite insistent, I believe they wanted them for your Quidditch match tomorrow," he nodded at James. "Perhaps you're familiar with Julia McGrath? No, she's a Ravenclaw second year, she decided to multiply her potion, and, as you can tell, it went rather badly."

Lily could tell James was struggling to hold in his laughter.

"Can we help you Professor?" Lily asked, ignoring James's incredulous stare.

"Oh no, thankyou very much, Miss Evans. I have Professor Flitwick and the Headmaster coming down to assist me shortly. Continue on with your patrol and good luck with the match tomorrow James m'boy!"

James thanked Slughorn and, as quickly as they could they left the dungeons, sweating profusely and wiping their hands across their foreheads.

"How about the Astronomy tower?" James asked as they tried to put as much distance as they could between themselves and the dungeons.

Lily stared at him, shocked by his request. All year James had been on his best behaviour, not even asking her out anymore, when, previously, it had been an at least weekly occurrence. Occasionally he made the odd suggestive comment or joke, but they didn't bother her so much as they used to have. And now, here he was, asking her to go with him to Hogwarts most famous make out spot.

Why on Earth did that idea sound so damn appealing?

James caught her stare and had the decency to look a little abashed.

"Merlin Evans, I didn't mean…I meant to patrol! It should be cooler up there."

Now it was Lily's turn to look embarrassed.

"Oh, right, of course. Good idea."

"We might even be able to bust up some couples private time," James grinned at the idea and Lily laughed.

"You mean like Sirius and whoever he's conned in to spending tonight with him?" She asked.

"I don't think we'll manage to spring him tonight," James laughed. "I think he said something about staying in."

"You don't mean he takes girls up to the dormitory do you?" Lily asked appalled.

James shrugged.

"Isn't that terribly awkward?" Lily asked; horrified at the idea of Alice sneaking Frank into their dormitory and how out of place she'd feel.

"None of us mind so much, as long as they use a silencing charm," James commented. "I'll sneak you up and you can see how the boys react."

Lily blushed furiously at his innuendo, their conversations seemed to be filled with it tonight; she attributed it to his nervousness about the Quidditch match.

They reached the top of the Astronomy tower and Lily found that James had been right; the night air was unbelievably refreshing.

"Mmmm."

Lily heard the low, throaty moan and turned around in surprise. James looked at her, an expression of shock on his face.

"You like that?" A lower voice asked, smothered by another moan.

Lily's eyes widened.

"Ohhh…yeah!"

Lily couldn't help but blush as she realised what she had just heard. There was a couple up here somewhere and by the sounds of it, they were enjoying themselves very much.

Lily went to march towards the noise but was hurled back suddenly, yanked by her ponytail behind a pillar and pressed into the very warm, very large chest of James Potter. Her hair tumbled down around her shoulders in a messy array as her elastic was flung across the room by the strength of James's hold on her.

"What the hell are you doing?" She hissed at him.

"You were just going to walk in on them?" He asked, looking pained.

"You were the one that suggested coming up here to spring some couples!" Lily exclaimed, struggling to keep her voice low.

"Yeah, but didn't you recognise those voices? It's Duncan Bolstroyde back there, do you really want to see him naked?"

Lily gasped, struck by the awful thought of seeing the large sixth year Slytherin in the nude. James began to laugh at the horror on her face and she couldn't help it, she began to laugh too. They tried to quieten their laughter as the sounds of Bolstroyde and his girlfriend got louder and louder and suddenly cut off.

"That was quick," James whispered and Lily began to laugh again, her body shaking against James's in the enclosed space of their secret hiding spot behind the pillar and he was laughing too, his muscular chest heaving with stifled gasps of mirth as they heard the unmistakable sound of clothes being donned and the couple scurrying away.

Eventually their laughs quietened some and Lily became aware of exactly the situation she had found herself in with James Potter. The space behind the pillar was incredibly cramped, they were pressed up against each other and they were still both gasping for air, their bodies flattened against one another. Lily knew she should have been thinking about what a compromising situation they were in, but instead, all she could think of, was just how nice it was to be pressed against such a strong body in such an intimate way.

James was looking at her rather intently and she was resisting the urge to look back at him when they heard footsteps again. They both moved at once, stumbling over each other as they moved from behind the protection of the pillar, into the wand light of Severus Snape.

His jaw slackened at the sight of them and Lily was suddenly more than aware of exactly how compromising their position was, how bad it would look to the eyes of Snape. Late at night, they had just stumbled from a very confined and private spot, their clothing untucked and loose, Lily's hair dishevelled, both panting, with a gleam of sweat on their forehead. She almost groaned as she realised just how bad it must look.

Before she could say a word she noticed the change in Snape's expression, from shock to anger in the space of no time at all. She felt James tense at her side and reach into his robes for his wand, though her instinct screamed at her to do the same she did her best to ignore it, it would only make Severus angrier.

"Lily….how could you….with him?" He choked out, anger clouding his face and some other undefined emotion clogging his voice.

"What Evans does with her time in none of your affair," James said coolly, his wand hand twitching.

"He can't even call you by your name and you still let him fuck you in a corner of the Astronomy tower like one of his whores!" Snape exploded furiously, his wand in his hand, flourished at James. "Sectumsempra!"

"Protego!" Lily cried, her shield charm erupting between James and Severus and absorbing the impact of Snape's curse. Snape flicked it aside with his wand and raised it again, this time at Lily.

She stared at him in shock, no matter how bad their previous fights had been, he'd never raised his wand at her. His face was livid, and, she had to face it, terrifying.

"Do you like being one of Potter's sluts?" He sneered at her. "Does it make you feel good, knowing that you managed to sell your soul enough to get him? A mudblood managing to snag…"

"You do not speak to Evans like that!" James roared; his wand shaking in his hand as it slashed through the air. Snape deflected the spell again as the sound of footsteps thundered up the stairs. Mulciber and Avery, two seventh year Slytherin's, Snape's cronies, appeared. Mulciber grabbed Snape's wand arm, forcing it down.

"Not yet," he hissed. "You know our orders."

Snape turned, and, with one final look of loathing in James and Lily's direction, he ran.

James and Lily were silent for several minutes, James, struggling to calm himself, Lily, processing everything that had just happened. Beyond everything else, she was mortified by what had just happened. Getting caught in such a compromising position with James, having him have to defend her; it was all excruciatingly embarrassing.

"We should head back to the Common Room," Lily said eventually. "It's after midnight. The teachers will be out now."

James nodded his agreement and together they made the short walk towards the Gryffindor dormitories. It was an awkward walk; Lily kept her head down, unwilling to meet James's eyes. She could feel his anger, barely veiled, bubbling away under the surface as he tried to remain calm.

The Common Room was empty as they entered it and Lily was desperate to flee.

"I guess I should head up to bed," she said to him and he nodded without a word.

She hesitated.

"James….thanks for….defending me," she stuttered out to him.

"Any time," he managed a smile at her. "Though I wish I hadn't had to."

They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"Are you coming to the match tomorrow?" He asked.

"Of course," she replied. "If I don't see you before the start, good luck."

"I'll make sure I see you," he told her with a more sincere smile. "Maybe you can be my good luck charm."

"Maybe," she said, having no idea what his words meant. "Oh well….goodnight."

"Night," he replied distractedly.

Lily sprinted up the staircase to her dormitory. Alice's hangings weren't drawn as Lily hurled herself onto her friend's bed.

"Kill me. Please kill me," she muttered into her friends shoulder.

"Lils? What happened?" Alice asked, rubbing soothing circles into her back.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my entire life," she moaned. "James and I were on top of the Astronomy tower…"

"What?" Alice exclaimed.

"We were on patrol! Well anyway…"

Lily poured the entire story out to Alice, who gasped, squealed and got angry at the appropriate times. Finally she finished, totally drained and Alice squeezed her shoulders, before moving towards her bedside table and fishing around in a draw for something.

"Frank sent me this when he found out that James was Head Boy. Said he thought you might need it," she handed Lily a large block of chocolate with a flourish.

"Your boyfriend is a godsend Alice," Lily sighed happily as she broke off a large piece of chocolate.

"I know," Alice giggled, nibbling on her own piece of chocolate. "But you know what I'm beginning to think Lily?"

"What?"

"I think James Potter is growing on you."

"Growing on me like a rash I can't get rid of maybe," Lily snorted and Alice began to laugh.

Lying in her own bed over an hour later, quite unable to sleep, Lily contemplated Alice's words. Was James Potter growing on her?

The honest answer would have to be yes. She was growing used to James's presence near her and even beginning to appreciate it, enjoy it. She struggled to believe she could be thinking that about the boy she had almost hated for the past six years of her life. But he was different now, he really was. So different in fact that, if she had to be honest with herself, she had enjoyed being pressed up in a small space with him, enjoyed his sexual jokes and innuendo and was beginning to wonder why he hadn't asked her out at all this year.

Not that she would have said yes, but she….well, maybe she would have said yes.

Groaning in frustration at her own stupidity Lily waited for sleep to come, but after half an hour of it still evading her, she gave up. Illuminating her wand she looked for her novel on her bedside table, only to remember that she'd left it in the Common Room before going on patrol that evening. Determined to distract herself from the thoughts that wracked her brain Lily swung her legs out of bed and made for the Common Room. She paused at the top of the stairs, realising that she was only wearing an oversized Gryffindor t-shirt that barely covered her to the top of her thighs. For a moment, she considered going on a hunt for a pair of sweat pants to cover her legs but then realised that it was after two in the morning and the chances of anyone being in the Common Room were next to none. It wasn't as if she could embarrass herself anymore tonight.

James was sprawled in an armchair by the fire as the clock in the Common Room chimed two in the morning. He'd tried to sleep, but was quite unable. For once it wasn't nerves about tomorrow, or rather, today's match that wracked him. It was anger; anger and lust.

James doubted he'd ever hated anyone in his life as much as he'd hated Severus Snape at the moment when he had interrupted he and Lily when he was sure that she was about to touch him, kiss him, anything. But then, Snape had proved him wrong, James had managed to find more hate in his heart for the despicable boy that had compared Lily to the women he had been with in his younger, less mature years.

To compare the sweet, innocent, fiery tempered Lily to the whores that had previously thrown themselves at him was blasphemous.

And suddenly, James was struck by insight.

Severus Snape was jealous. He wanted Lily; perhaps even loved Lily.

He would not have her.

James heard a floorboard creak and looked up towards the girls' dormitories. The woman herself was on her way down, her hair tangled from bed, dressed only in a t-shirt that barely covered her. Her long, slim legs, leading higher than even he'd imagined at his most fanciful, to the most delicious looking derrière he'd ever seen…

He almost exploded with need.

She hadn't seen him yet, giving James a chance to adjust himself and slouch casually in the chair. He must act casually, he couldn't jump on her, pull her down into his lap, kiss her, touch her, make her moan the way they had heard a young girl moan that night on the top of the Astronomy tower.

"James," a voice squeaked.

He looked up, to meet the eyes of an observably mortified Lily Evans, her hands tugging the bottom of her t-shirt down as far as it could go, still not nearly covering her, her face bright red, her hands shaking the book she held as she fought with the desire to flee. Despite every instinct he had screaming at him to soak in her glorious half-naked form, he averted his eyes. She was obviously embarrassed; he didn't want to make that worse.

"Couldn't sleep Evans?" He asked; his voice unusually husky.

"No. Needed my book," she stuttered, showing it to him, another one of those Muggle novels she was so fond of. He briefly caught the title, _Emma_. "I'll just… go back to bed. Night."

"Night," he called after her, but she was already gone, her beautiful behind sprinting up the staircase to the girls dormitory.

Slowly, James stood, climbing the stairs to the boys' dormitories, before collapsing on his own bed and drawing the hangings. For an hour he lay on his bed, uncomfortably hard at the memory of Lily Evans body pressed up against his, shaking with laughter in a corner of the Astronomy tower and imagining those shapely legs he had just seen, wrapped around his waist as they gave themselves to each other.

**((XX))**

_Welcome to Friday and once again thanks for reading._

_Reviews are very much appreciated, and I can still promise a preview of the next chapter to all those who make James and I happy by letting us know what you think of the story._

_A huge thank you to the most over-work beta-ing team around, Kait and Casey, both of whom lead very busy lives but still manage to get this back to me in time to post, without fail. You're both amazing._

_Have a safe and happy week!_

_SC._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: ****Anything you recognise belongs to the ever amazing Ms. Rowling, if I had half her talent, I wouldn't have stayed up to 3am finishing a uni assignment last night. **

**The plot is mine and cannot be reproduced without my permission.**

Five – The Next Day

"_**Which, if not victory, is yet revenge"**_

**Paradise Lost – John Milton**

"I promised I'd see him before the game and wish him luck," Lily said a little nervously to Alice, as they trailed after Remus through the slush and mud on their way to the Quidditch pitch.

"Relax Lily, it's not your fault that James slept late and had to skip breakfast," Remus told her reassuringly. "It's his own bloody fault; he didn't go to bed until after two."

Lily did her best to hide her blush as she struggled in vain with the memory of the night before.

"Why do you care if you wish James luck or not?" Peter asked anxiously, bobbing up and down as he tried to avoid the worst of the mud.

"I don't!" Lily exclaimed in return, perhaps a little too heatedly for the question. "I've got money on the game, that's all."

They reached the Quidditch pitch and all groaned simultaneously; the fog and rain was so thick that it was impossible to see the opposite end of the arena.

"Why don't they call the match off?" Lily asked; strengthening the waterproofing charms she had cast on herself before she left the castle.

"For a bit of rain, never!" A voice scoffed behind them.

Lily turned around; dressed in his Quidditch robes, Silver Arrow in his hand was James Potter. He was already drenched, but grinning broadly, as if the rain didn't bother him at all. Lily couldn't help but sigh, feeling that by tomorrow, every player from the match and probably half the supporters too, would be heading to Madame Duchene, the matron, struck down by horrible colds.

"We'll just need a quick match that's all, hopefully Brown can catch the snitch easily." James continued, unperturbed.

"In this weather, unlikely," Sirius scoffed and Remus smacked him over the back of the head.

"You've got a water resistance charm on your glasses, right?" Lily asked James, feeling that at least _somebody _should be helpful.

"Right, thanks Evans," he grinned at her and she blushed again, remembering that this boy in front of her knew what she looked like half naked.

Their friends glanced between them, Alice with raised eyebrows, but, thankfully, nobody said a word.

"I better get back to the rooms. See you all after the match."

"Good luck," Lily told him, lingering for a moment as the others trekked towards the stands.

He winked at her and disappeared, leaving Lily only to her thoughts that Quidditch uniforms really did leave nothing to the imagination.

"Are you sure they won't call the game off?" Lily asked over an hour later, chafing her hands against her wet robes, her teeth chattering. Despite her recasting a warming spell periodically every few minutes, she was still frozen; the rain was so harsh that they weren't having a lot of effect at all as the wind whipped ferociously around the pitch. She could barely see the players; though, from Sirius's commentary, it appeared that Gryffindor was winning and James was leading the goal tally.

"What is Brown playing at?" Remus groaned, stuffing his hands under his armpits. "I wish he'd just catch the bloody snitch and get this over with."

"I'm sure he's doing his best," Alice said fairly, though she looked absolutely miserable.

Lily struggled to hear Sirius's commentary over the pounding of the rain.

"Potter has the quaffle again, I think…yes, he's flying for goal, dodges a bludger or maybe it was a particularly large piece of hail, he's good at dodging things James, he's been dodging half the female population of the school since third year….he scores! Gryffindor lead two hundred and ten to one hundred and seventy!"

The Gryffindor's may have erupted in cheers but the noise was drowned out by a particularly loud clap of thunder erupting overhead. Lily squinted through the rain to see James high-fiving a team mate and pointing towards the seeker, Brown; who was flying high up above the rest of the players. Lily was glad to see that his first priority was the safety of his players; the lightening in the air was beginning to look dangerous to her.

She wrung her hands together nervously.

"This is so dangerous," she muttered under her breath to Alice. "I can't believe Dumbledore hasn't called it off yet."

"I think he will soon, his beards beginning to droop," she laughed, wrapping a reassuring arm around Lily's shoulders. "He'll be okay you know? He's played in conditions like this before."

"Who said I was worried about him?" Lily huffed. "I'm not. I just think its very irresp…"

"Look!" Remus bellowed, jumping to his feet and pointing. "Brown's seen the snitch!"

Lily jumped to her feet and strained her eyes in the direction Remus was pointing.

"Yes Brown's definitely seen the snitch!" Sirius was screaming. "Go Nathan go! End this bloody game! The Hufflepuff Seeker Twigley is gaining on him, Brown has the advantage, he gets the snitch! Gryffindor win!"

Lily jumped up and down cheering and celebrating wildly, hugging Alice, Remus and Peter and yelling hoarsely, all thoughts of the rain forgotten. The Gryffindor team, high-fiving and hugging all drifted down to Earth together, behind the rather dejected 'Puffs.

All of Gryffindor sloshed through the muddy surface of the pitch in order to get to their team. Lily, Alice, Remus and Peter reached them first. James broke away from his teammates and greeted them with a broad grin.

"Halfway to that championship!" He grinned broadly as Remus and Peter reached forward to ruffle his hair and jab him in his kidneys. Alice deftly pulled the other boys off him and he chucked her under the chin affectionately. He turned to Lily next and she couldn't keep the genuine smile off her face at the look of pure excitement on his.

"I just won you five galleons," he told her animatedly, before gathering her up in a hug and lifting her off her feet in his enthusiasm. He spun in a circle and she couldn't help but laugh in delight.

"You did, well done!" She exclaimed breathlessly as he put her down.

"Thanks," he shook his head like a wet dog, spraying them all with even more water.

"Back to the Common Room for a party!" Sirius exclaimed out of nowhere.

Lily knew she should have disapproved, but she couldn't. Arm in arm with Alice she walked back to the castle, trudging through the mud and muck. Girls stared at her with barely veiled jealousy as the Marauders followed gleefully behind them. She knew she was covered in mud but she didn't care.

After all, it was James Potter's mud.

**((XX))**

A definite benefit of having Alice as her only room mate was the lack of competition for the bathroom. The two girls knew each other well enough and were comfortable enough in each others presence after spending six years as friends and roommates that, after Alice had showered, she remained in the bathroom, doing her hair and makeup while Lily showered. The girls weren't likely to parade around naked in front of each other, but they weren't going to be too prude-y about matters such as breasts, when, clearly, they both had them.

"What're you going to wear Lil?" Alice asked as Lily stood under the steady stream of hot water, letting it thaw her out as she rinsed a treatment from her hair.

"I don't know, why, does it matter?" Lily asked lazily. "It's just a celebration in the Common Room."

"Would it kill you to want to look nice Lily? Not that you don't naturally, but you could, you know, care about what you're wearing."

When Lily didn't respond Alice let out a good natured huff. "Fine, I'm choosing your outfit then."

"You're being overly girly tonight," Lily told her friend as she shut the water off and Alice left the room to choose Lily's attire. "And you better not make me too dressed up!"

Alice laughed.

"I've got it!" She called several minutes later. "It's on your bed. Now, what are you doing with your makeup?"

Lily, now dry and in her robe, looked at her friend.

"The usual, some powder, a dash of mascara."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"What's the big deal about tonight?" Lily asked.

"Nothing, I just think we should get dressed up and dazzle everyone down there," Alice sighed dramatically and it was Lily's turn to roll her eyes.

"You have a boyfriend!" Lily told her.

"Who I haven't seen in weeks," Alice sighed. "Let's just have some fun Lils, please?"

"Oh ok," Lily relented. "What do you think I should do with my makeup then?"

Several minutes later Lily was powdered, rouged, shadowed, lined, mascara-ed and glossed. It was all light, not overtly obvious, just an improvement on what Alice called her 'natural glow.' Unwilling to go overboard, she had allowed her hair to spring into its usual unpredictable riot of curls, but had let Alice convince her to at least add some hairspray to it.

"I really think you're going overboard," Lily said to Alice, as she twirled her wand forcibly through one of Lily's particularly limp curls. "Who am I getting dressed up for?"

"For yourself," Alice said firmly. "Come on, lets get dressed."

Lily quickly donned the clothes Alice had laid out for her and had to admit, she was impressed with her friends restraint. Dark blue denim jeans and an emerald green jumper, tight-fitting and low necked as it was. Alice threw a pair of green suede heels at her and ignored her protests.

"I hate these jeans," Lily muttered, as she struggled to put the heels on. "They're so damn tight."

"They look amazing though," Alice told her. "And if you hate them why did you buy them?"

"I didn't, Petunia did," Lily said with a grimace.

Alice threw her arm around her friends shoulder and prodded her towards the staircase.

"Come on, I don't want to miss anything."

"Like what; Brown giving a minute by minute description of the match, or the girls swooning over the Marauders?"

Despite her protests Lily went down the stairs with Alice, without complaining. They reached the Common Room just as the portrait hole swung open to admit three of the four Marauders, Sirius, Remus and Peter, their arms full of drinks and food.

"One day, I'm going to ask where they get all this," Alice said with a small smile. Lily only shook her head, she was sure whatever means they used to procure the refreshments for the party weren't allowed, but they did make for a good party and she couldn't deny that the Quidditch team deserved to celebrate.

The Marauders dropped everything onto a small card table that had been set up. As soon as Sirius's arms were empty he was smoothing his hair down and making his way towards Lily and Alice.

"Well don't you ladies look smashing this evening?" He said gallantly. "And so quickly as well, I'm surprised you're not still upstairs fighting over the bathroom."

"We don't fight over the bathroom," Lily told him, from the corner of her eye she saw James, freshly showered and changed out of his Quidditch robes, coming down from the boy's dormitories. "We just share."

She hadn't been thinking about what came out of her mouth, distracted by the Gryffindor Quidditch captain drawing closer to them but she was suddenly bought back to reality by Sirius's eyes popping out of his head and Alice's snort beside her.

"You…you…together," never in her life had Lily seen Sirius rendered incapable of speech. His eyes continued to bug out of his head as they darted between Alice and Lily. Suddenly, his smooth demeanour was back, if not a little overeager. "Well ladies, if I had have known about the sharing nature of the seventh year girls dormitories I would have ventured up there a little sooner. I can just watch you know?"

"What're you watching Padfoot?" James asked, finally drawing equal with his best friend.

Sirius turned to James in delight.

"Alice and Evans shower together! Naked!" He exclaimed.

"Sirius I never said that!" Lily protested, blushing profusely.

"Does Frank know Alice? Or do you let him watch? Do you wash each others hair? And backs, do you wash each others backs?" He asked dreamily.

"Sirius!' Lily exclaimed. "Alice and I don't shower together! I was just saying that, unlike fifth year girls, we can share a bathroom!"

"Stop it Evans, you're ruining my fantasy," Sirius complained. "Now I just need to figure out how to get around that damn spiral staircase…"

He wandered towards Peter, contemplatively.

"I don't think we're ever going to hear the end of that one," Lily sighed. "I think I need a drink…" 

James and Alice laughed and steered her towards the refreshments table.

An hour later the party was in full swing. Every Gryffindor appeared to be present and enjoying themselves, forgetting the miserable conditions the match had been played in and revelling in the win, the good food, loud music and the copious drink.

After two Firewhiskey's Lily had given up on attempting to control the party and instead focused on enjoying herself. Perhaps Alice had been right; it was nice to dress up occasionally. Though her friend had been standing with Remus Lupin for the

best half hour, engaging in an animated discussion about non-wizard rights. Lily had tried her best to be interested for the first ten minutes of the conversation, but, eventually unable to keep up with the precedents and legal terminology they were spouting, she had excused herself.

She had been talking to an excited group of first years, all Muggle born, about the experience of their first Quidditch match. They had just left, eager to get to the refreshment table before everything was gone when the hero of the hour, James Potter, walked up to her, looking a little harassed.

"You look as if you've just escaped a Devil's Snare," she laughed, accepting the drink he passed her.

"I feel as if I have."

She looked at him confusedly.

"Thelma Varnsworth," he shook his head ruefully. "Wanted a blow by blow description of the match from my perspective; not sure that's all she wanted to blow either."

Lily blushed a little at his boldness, before drawing on her infallible memory.

"Wasn't it Thelma Varnsworth in the broom closet with you in fifth year when Remus tried to convince me not to give you both detentions for being out of bounds _and_ out past curfew?" She asked shrewdly.

"Well, yeah," James admitted. "But I've matured since then and I don't want anything to do with her."

"Love them and leave them, that's your way isn't it Potter?"

Lily had meant it as a joke, a jab, a teasing comment between friends. James however, obviously took it as something more serious.

"Not any more," he told her, looking pointedly at her.

At a loss for what to do, Lily sloshed down the last of the contents of her cup, surprised to find it was empty.

"I really should stop drinking if we have to go on patrol later," she said, sitting her empty cup down firmly.

"I don't know, I think you'd make an amusing drunk," he told her, setting his cup down as well. "Did you want to dance?"

Lily looked at him, startled, and, out of pure habit, looking for an ulterior motive.

"Come on Evans, I won't bite," he told her. "Unless you want me to."

"If it'll help you keep Thelma off your back," Lily shrugged and James looked put off.

"That's not the reason I asked you," he told her with a frown. "Can't a bloke ask a girl to dance for no reason other than for fun?"

"You never have before," she told him.

"Well I'm making up for it now," he said with a smile and, with a shrug Lily followed him out to the area which had somehow become the dance floor. They fell into a rhythm easily as they danced opposite each other, until the tempo slowed down and all the giggling girls left the floor leaving all the couples on. The music wasn't slow, not a waltz, Lily would have called it a power ballad or something equally as ridiculous, but nevertheless, the effect was the same. It was obviously a dance in which one should be _touching_ the person they were dancing with.

James stepped closer to her and Lily gulped audibly. He reached down, intertwining their fingers, her small ones getting lost in his much larger, warmer ones, before placing them on his shoulder, his spare hand reaching for her waist. They stayed separated, he did not pull her up against his body, but still, it was more contact then they had ever had.

Lily wished she could be thinking scathingly about how smooth Potter was when trying to seduce a girl (if that was what he was doing, it certainly felt that way to her), but instead all she could think about was how pleasant it felt to have James's hand at her waist.

"You look lovely tonight," he said, bending down to whisper in her ear. "I was wondering…"

But Lily would never find out exactly what James had been wondering because at that moment the portrait hole swung open and Lily had a perfect view of Professor McGonagall stepping through it.

"Shit!" Lily exclaimed, taking a hasty step away from James and vanishing all the objects in sight that could be considered illegal. "We're in so much trouble! Shit! Fuck! Shit!"

James calmly swept his wand over the refreshments table, vanishing all the Firewhiskey and sending a spell between Sirius and the girl he was wrapped around in order to separate them. James obviously had more experience being in situations like these than Lily had.

Professor McGonagall was calling for silence and Lily, tugging James along with her, greeted her.

"Professor I…" She started but their head of house hold up her hand for silence.

"I'm sorry to disturb your party," she called out, gaining everyone's attention.

"Believe me, I'm thrilled that Gryffindor won, but there is something larger than Quidditch going on within our castle."

Lily silently stared down James, expecting him to refute that anything was more important than Quidditch.

"Since shortly after midnight last night, there have been several attacks on Muggle born students within the castle. Four students are in the Hospital Wing, with another three having not been injured severely enough to warrant that attention. Because of this, I must ask all of you to remain in the Common Room while we conduct a search of the castle to try to find the perpetrators of the most recent attack. If any of you have _any_ information regarding these attacks, please contact me, your prefects or your head students immediately," she looked to Lily and James as hurried whispers broke out around the Common Room. "You two ought to come with me."

Lily and James hurried behind the wake of Professor McGonagall as she strode down the empty corridors of Hogwarts.

"Professor McGonagall said….after midnight last night….the attacks started. You don't think…Severus?" She whispered to James, voicing her worst fears.

James obviously hadn't considered that and he looked worried at the thought.

"I doubt it, not in reaction to…what he thought he saw."

Lily breathed out an audible sigh of relief.

It was that night that marked the increase in attacks of Muggle borns.

**((XX))**

_Welcome back and once again, thanks for reading. _

_Special thanks as always to the amazing Team FA, Casey and Kait, these girls are amazing, have you read Kait Hobbit's story Dried Lillies? You should._

_Have a safe and happy week everyone, those who review will of course receive a preview of Chapter Six – Post and Admittance._

_SC. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer****: The amazing world of Harry Potter belongs to J K Rowling, if it was mine Cedric wouldn't have died.**

**The contents of this story belong to me and cannot be reproduced without my permission.**

**((XX))**

Six – Post and Admittance

"_**We have a choice: to plough new ground or let weeds grow."**_

**Jonathon Westover**

The rain was replaced by early snow as November came towards its close, but the atmosphere in the castle was as dour as if its inhabitants had been rained in for several months. Tensions were at a highpoint between houses as the attacks against Muggle borns continued; for it had escaped nobodies notice that the only house without one of its students currently residing in the Hospital Wing was Slytherin.

The last weekend of November heralded the arrival of the first Hogsmeade weekend and in the week leading up to it all third years and above had waited, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be cancelled, though, in the current climate, most admitted it was likely that it would be. The teachers however, seemed to understand their need for time off away from the castle and the Saturday morning arrived, without it having been called off.

Alice was bouncing up and down with excitement as they made their way towards the Great Hall for breakfast; Frank was meeting her in Hogsmeade and she would get to see him for the first time in three months. As they sat down at the Gryffindor table, taking their usual spots opposite the Marauders, Sirius turned to Lily.

"What's up with her?" He asked, jerking his thumb at Alice, who had knocked a full pitcher of milk over in her excitement.

"Frank's meeting her in Hogsmeade," Lily said with a laugh, as Alice, oblivious to the conversation regarding her continued to pursue her last letter from Frank, ensuring she knew exactly when and where they were to meet.

"Ah," Sirius said with a dramatic sigh. "Young love."

"What are you doing in Hogsmeade then Lily?" Peter asked. "You're not going with them are you?" He looked horrified at the prospect and Lily laughed.

"And be a third wheel, I don't think so Pete. I was just going to go and get some things I need and come back again."

"Don't be daft Evans, come with us," James said blithely, in a very different tone to the one in which he'd previously used to ask her to Hogsmeade with him, reminding Lily that if she agreed, which she would, it would not be a date; just friends going together into the village.

"You should come Lily, don't go by yourself," Remus told her, in agreement with James.

"Please milady, it would be our honour to accompany you, we couldn't possibly allow a fair maiden such as yourself to venture out unaccompanied," Sirius said solemnly before throwing her a wink.

Lily's laughter died in her throat as the owl post arrived over head. After seven years at Hogwarts she was used to the daily interruption to breakfast, but, for once, she recognised the owl flying towards her, a letter clasped firmly in her beak.

"Helene," she breathed, her heart suddenly filled with dread.

Her mind went into overdrive as the owl swooped low overhead. With all the problems currently facing her at Hogwarts, the attacks, her school work, Head Girl duties and the realisation that the Marauders were real, decent human beings, the thought of her mother, ill at home, had been pushed to the back of her mind. That wasn't to say she didn't think about her, often, it was just that, during the day at least, she was so busy that she didn't have time to dwell on the horrifying reality of her mothers illness.

Alice looked up from her own letter at Lily's intake of breath and saw her friend's face immediately ashen. The change in Lily's previously upbeat demeanour was so severe that even the boys, usually immune to anything but their stomaches at this hour, looked up from their breakfasts as Lily struggled to untie the letter from the owl, her hands shaking so severely.

James, attuned as he was to Lily's moods, immediately sensed that something was wrong, the moment Lily looked to her owl. He watched her face as she read her letter, relief flooding him as he saw the same wash over her face. She pushed the letter aside, patting her owl gently and standing up.

"Lily, is it...?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"She's just…worse. They say not long," Lily muttered in reply to Alice. "I'm just taking Helene up to the 3wlery for a rest. I'll meet you all before we leave."

She hurried away, as quickly as her feet would carry her.

"Alice?" James asked immediately, desperate to know what could make Lily so upset and determined to fix it immediately. "What's wrong with Li…Evans?"

Alice sighed, looking down at the piece of parchment Lily had left behind.

"Lily's mother…she's been ill for a while now. The letter says she's become a lot worse, that she doesn't have much time left."

James was suddenly struck down with horror at the sheer awfulness of the situation. Lily, his Lily, his precious little Evans who didn't deserve to know what pain was, was suffering, had been suffering for how long he didn't know and he'd known nothing about it. He'd teased and made stupid jokes and done his best to slowly woo her and all the while her mother had been bloody dying.

To say that James Potter felt like crap in that moment would have been an understatement.

"That's horrible," James heard Remus comment to Alice. "She hadn't mentioned it in a while so I presumed…"

"You knew?" James turned to Remus in shock. "How did you know?"

"It…came up," Remus shrugged. "On patrol last year."

"Why didn't I know?" James demanded; loud enough that several Ravenclaw's on the table opposite theirs turned around.

"James, Lily doesn't want to think about it most of the time. She just wants to forget and not have people worrying about her," Alice explained in her soothing way.

"She could have told me," James said, in a much quieter voice, flinching away from the memory of Lily's face masked with pain at the sight of her owl flying towards her.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder wordlessly.

"Maybe I should stay with her," Alice said worriedly. "I'll see Frank in a few weeks…"

"Go Alice, see Frank," James told her. "I'll make sure she has the best damn time she's ever had in Hogsmeade, I promise."

Looking at the determined glint in James's hazel eyes, Alice couldn't doubt him.

**((XX))**

When Lily made her way down to the Entrance Hall a half hour later her eyes were dry and the thought of her mother ill in hospital had been pushed to the very back crevices of her mind. She saw the Marauders waiting for her, Alice bouncing anxiously by their side.

"Sorry," she called out, as she drew equal with them. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

They all brushed off her apologies, got in line to have their names checked off and ventured outside. The wind was fierce on the path to Hogsmeade, the snow crunching under foot as they walked. Lily shivered gently; glad for the scarf, gloves and heavy jumper she'd thought to retrieve from her trunk before leaving the dormitory that morning. The Marauders were talking loudly over the wind, making jokes and teasing each other and Lily found their banter distracted her from the thoughts that plagued the back of her mind. It was the first day off she'd had in weeks, a day with no homework, or Head Girl duties (though she would have to patrol later that night), and she'd been determined to enjoy it. She tried to push the thoughts of her mother as far from her mind as possible, and to deny, at least for today, the pain that was threatening to engulf her.

"We need to hold onto the girls I think," Sirius called above the wind, wriggling in between Lily and Alice and throwing an arm around each of their shoulders. "The wind's so strong and they're so little they might just blow away."

Lily laughed and actually pushed a little against Sirius's side, not only was he warm, but he also acted as a wind block.

"You might want to be careful Padfoot," Remus told him with a laugh. "If Frank sees you with his girl he might come after you, he's been training as an Auror remember."

As they reached the village the wind almost disappeared and with plenty of prodding from Lily and Alice, Sirius finally withdrew his arms from around them. Alice looked at her watch excitedly as soon as they past the sign declaring they had just reached Hogsmeade.

"Go!" Lily told her, laughing at her friend's eagerness. "Have fun and say hello to Frank for me."

"I will," Alice was practically glowing with excitement. "I'll see you at dinner tonight!" Without hesitating she sped off.

"Young love," Sirius sighed again and James chucked him under the head.

"What do you guys normally do here?" Lily asked as they began to walk towards the shops. "Explore, cause mischief?"

"We do enough of that in Hogsmeade as it is," Sirius told her and the other boys laughed, making Lily sure she was missing something. "So we normally just take it easy."

"I can definitely agree to that," Lily smiled, motioning for them to continue.

James, Remus and Peter made to move but Sirius stopped them with a flick of his hand and pushed Lily to the front.

"We'd rather follow you," he winked at her.

"No looking at my bum," she told them with a laugh and led them into Flourish and Blotts, thinking that she had chosen just the right group of people to spend the day with if she wanted distracting.

**((XX))**

The last hour had somehow disappeared in a blur of shops and streets, none of which James Potter remembered. He was following his friends blindly, barely joining in on their joking and teasing. If he had have thought about it, he would have realised he was in shock, because something he had wanted for as long as he could remember, or, at the very least since fourth year, had finally come to fruition.

He, James Potter, was in Hogsmeade with Lily Evans.

Somehow the presence of his friends didn't matter, because, despite their company, he was still doing everything he had ever imagined of doing with Lily in Hogsmeade. They were walking through the streets, covered in snow, he watched as she laughed and groaned at the worst of Sirius's jokes (though in his mind they were his jokes), he was watching as she purchased more sugar quills than he thought any body could possibly use, as she shied away from a particularly obnoxious looking trumpet in Zonko's joke shop and as her cheeks turned pink from the cold.

"James, James! Prongs!" James was suddenly brought back to Earth by Remus waving his hand in front of his face.

"Sorry Moony," he murmured, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Daydreaming."

"Lily?" Remus asked intuitively.

"Yeah, It's…weird, being here with her, when I've asked her so many times."

"With your mates," Remus finished with a laugh. "We can lose ourselves you know, leave you and Lily to it."

James considered his friend's words for a moment.

"I think she's happier with you all here. Hang around."

"You're a good guy you know Prongs," Remus told him, clapping him on the shoulder. "You always have been, but I'm glad you've finally decided to let Lily see it. Go and talk to her instead of standing here like you've been stunned."

James laughed and decided to take his friends advice. As they left Zonko's he drew level with Lily.

"Started your Christmas shopping?" He asked, nodding towards the bags in her hand.

"Yeah, I bought my Dad a joke hat, he loves stuff like that," she smiled at him. "How about you?"

"I always leave my shopping until Christmas Eve," he told her. "Otherwise I get too excited about what I've bought and end up telling everyone what they're getting."

Lily's pearl of laughter sounded so delightful to his ears that he couldn't hold back the wide grin that automatically stretched across his face. A grin that only grew wider as Sirius approached and wormed his way in between them.

"Mum, dad, Wormtail and I are hungry." He whined.

Lily laughed again as James leaned towards Sirius and hit him over the head again.

"You're an abusive father," Lily commented to him and he grinned guiltily.

"Come on, lets go to the Three Broomsticks," Remus suggested.

The pub was busy, packed with students enjoying their day off. It didn't take them long to find a table however and Lily was glad to sit down and put her shopping down. Setting the bags on the table, she pointed her wand at them and shrunk them until they were small enough to fit in her pocket.

"Impressive," James told her, eyebrows raised. "Who wants a drink?"

They all ventured up to the bar, giving their food orders and collecting their drinks.

"Only Butterbeer for you Evans? Don't want to get the giggles on us?" Sirius asked, taking a large mouthful of his own Firewhiskey.

"I had enough Firewhiskey to last me until next year after the last Quidditch match," Lily commented, calmly sipping her Butterbeer.

"The girl holds her liquor well," James commented, raising his glass in her direction with a grin. "She could drink with the best of them, meaning us."

"I thought that's what she was doing right now?" Peter put in, obviously confused and Sirius rolled his eyes.

Lily sat back with a smile on her face, listening to their easy banter. It was unusual for four friends to know each other so well and to still get along after so many years. Here they were, seventh years on a Hogsmeade weekend, going with each other.

"So why aren't you all on dates today?" She asked out of sheer curiosity as their meals were delivered. "I mean, it's a Hogsmeade weekend…" She looked at the boys who were all busily cutting in to pies and stews. "Or should I wait until after you're fed to initiate conversation," she teased.

Peter was the first to look up from his lunch.

"Nobody to go with," he shrugged and Lily suddenly felt bad for Pettigrew. It must be hard to be friends with the three most popular and lusted over boys in school and not have anybody interested in you, apart from the occasional girl from the lower year levels, blinded by the star of his friends. Peter at least didn't seem to mind, or was resigned to the fact at the very least.

"Hannah Cuthbert asked me," Remus said in a low voice. "But I wasn't really interested so I turned her down. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by coming with anyone else."

And that, Lily thought, was exactly why Remus Lupin was such a _decent_ human being.

"I don't go on dates," Sirius said loftily and James laughed.

"No, he just goes into broom closets or to the top of the Astronomy tower or into our dormitory..."

"You know Sirius, I can't see you ever settling down," Lily commented with a laugh and he winked at her suggestively.

"Not as long as I've still got my…" He started to say before she cut in again.

"I was thinking it was more likely because no self-respecting girl would ever consider taking you home to her family."

"Lots of self-respecting girls take me home." Sirius told her, raising his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Just not to meet their parents, maybe to meet their friends, like you and Alice say."

"Sirius!" Lily protested.

"You started it Evans," he grinned at her. "Besides, you put up with me everyday."

"And that's how I know exactly what you're like," she told him, still laughing, but wanting to change the subject. Without thinking she continued, "what about you James, why aren't you on a date?"

He looked at her in surprise, his eyebrows raised, as if asking her if she really wanted him to be honest. Her eyes must have given him some answer because he continued.

"Everybody I'd want to go with is already here."

Lily looked down, blushing furiously as she eyed her lunch. Their table had gone suddenly silent until Sirius spoke.

"James! I had no idea you felt that way about me!"

A slapping sound let Lily know that someone had hit Sirius over the back of the head. It really was a wonder he didn't have a more serious mental impairment with all the hits he received from his friends.

"And you Evans? Why aren't you on a date?" Sirius asked her, oblivious to the looks Lily was sure were being shot at him from Remus.

Lily finally looked up, still blushing furiously and she met James's eyes.

"Everybody I'd want to go with is already here," she echoed his words of before in a quiet murmur.

A slow smile spread over James's face at her words and Lily was shocked to see how genuinely delighted she had made him with one small, but daring sentence. Had she been that cruel and indifferent to him over the years that a simple admittance that she enjoyed spending time with him was so incredible to him? Or had her eyes given away more than she had intended? Could her eyes have given away that she was questioning everything she had thought she had known about him, that she found the new version of him that she was getting to know strangely enticing, alluring, fun and sexy? Could her one sentence have betrayed that, after constantly turning him down for the past six years, she could think of worse things than going on a date with him, that she might actually want to go out with him, that she'd been lying awake at nights trying to figure out why he'd stopped asking her?

The looks on his friends faces told her that yes, her words had told him that much.

She looked down at her lunch again, her cheeks flaming.

Nothing but the sound of cutlery scraping plates could be heard for several minutes and Lily quietly wondered if the Marauders had ever been this silent for this long before. Unable to bear the usually so rambunctious boys stillness, Lily looked up. Nobody else in the pub seemed to have noticed the lack of conversation going on at their table, though several girls, some who looked to be on dates, were making eyes at the Marauders. Lily resisted the immature urge to stick her tongue out at them. Instead, she looked out the window. A fine layer of snow was fluttering down from the sky, adding to the already thick coating over the picturesque little village.

"It's snowing," she said in surprise.

"I hate snow," Peter proclaimed glumly. "It means it's too cold for it to rain. And it makes my socks wet."

"You're such a spoilsport Wormtail," Sirius whined.

"Should we head back? It's only going to get heavier," Remus asked and everybody quickly agreed. Pushing aside their lunches and scraping back their chairs, donning gloves, jackets, scarves and hats.

The wind whipped around them, swirling and scattering them with snow, immediately turning their cheeks pink and freezing the tips of their noses as they stepped out of the pub and onto the near deserted street. Lily hunkered down into her jacket as she hunched forward for some protection against the wind.

As soon as they left the village and started on the path for Hogwarts, Sirius conjured two perfectly formed snowballs and smacked one each over the head of Peter and Remus. Peter let out a squeak of surprise and Remus swore under his breath as Sirius took off at a run. Both Remus and Peter quickly gave chase, tearing up the path after him, leaving James and Lily behind.

Lily almost groaned at their obvious desire for her and James to be alone.

James was chuckling under his breath at the antics of his friends.

"Sirius loves winter, just because of the potential for snowball fights," he told her. "Trust him to ruin a good day off; Pete's going to whine for the rest of the day."

"Remind me to lock myself in the library then," Lily laughed good-naturedly. "At least if I want to get any work done."

"Work? What do you have to do?" James asked, looking surprised.

"I haven't finished Monday's Transfiguration essay," Lily groaned. "I'm struggling. I almost didn't come in at all today, but I'm glad I did. The village is so pretty in the snow."

"I might join you in the library," James offered. "I need to go over the work on antidotes for Potions; I didn't understand any of it. And I don't want to listen to Wormtail."

Lily laughed, wondering silently how it was that James couldn't understand Slughorn's explanation of antidotes. As much as it had pained her to admit in the past, James was an extraordinarily talented wizard and to her, the antidotes were a simple concept.

"You haven't finished the essay for McGonagall?" He asked her.

"I wish," she sighed. "I've planned it three of four times, but I know I'm just not understanding the essence of it. I've finished Potions though, thank Merlin, it didn't take me long."

She looked up, through the thick falling snow to see James looking at her as if she was particularly dense.

"Well I don't have any problems with Transfiguration, why don't I tutor you in it, and you can help me with Potions?"

Lily stared at him in surprise, thinking over his words. Why hadn't she thought of that herself?

"That would work," she admitted with a smile.

James shrugged a casual arm around her shoulder and grinned at her.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he told her.

"You know Casablanca?" She questioned in surprise.

"What's Casablanca?" James asked in confusion.

Lily laughed and they continued up the snow covered path to Hogwarts, James's arm still around her shoulders, keeping her warm and making her smile.

**((XX))**

_Welcome back and thank God it's Friday!_

_Thanks as always to the amazing Casey and Kait, as well as to all my wonderful reviewers, I love hearing your thoughts, opinions and predictions on Lily, James and company._

_As always, reviewers will receive a preview of the next chapter, Chapter Seven, Revelations._

_Until next Friday, have a safe and happy week._

_SC. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer****: If I owned the Harry Potter universe, I wouldn't be working two jobs **_**and**_** going to uni, I'd be lounging by a pool writing and paying someone to bring me cocktails. **

**I do, however, own the contents of this story, if you'd like to bring me a cocktail, I won't stop you **

**((XX))**

Seven – Revelations

"_**This was the most unkindest cut of all;**_

_**Quite vanquish'd him: then burst his mighty heart…"**_

**Julius Caesar (III, ii, 183-186)**

**William Shakespeare**

It was drawing towards ten at night as James Potter and Lily Evans sat alone together in an empty classroom, their heads collectively bent over a single textbook; she murmuring the words aloud to him, occasionally adding a side comment in addition to what was written. They had been at this since just after dinner and their time together was slowly drawing to an end. Not only was the classroom arcticly cold, but they were due to patrol in only a matter of minutes.

James seemed to know this as, without warning, he suddenly pushed his seat away from the desk with a satisfied sigh. 

"It makes sense," he said in astonishment. "I actually think I understand the principle of antidotes."

"Recite it to me then," Lily instructed as they gathered their things and prepared to leave the classroom.

"For an antidote to be effective the equal parts of the poison must be replicated in it, for each of the separate components. Meaning that the total sum of the antidote must be at least twice the capacity of the original poison, assuming you know it."

James recited with a wide grin as they left the classroom.

"You got it!" Lily told him excitedly.

"Why couldn't Slughorn explain it that way?" James demanded as they started down the hallway towards the Heads common room.

"He's stuck in his ways," she shrugged.

"At least you were able to explain it to me," he was smiling at her now. "You're a gem Lily Evans."

Lily's step faltered a little at his words but she managed to keep walking, a silly smile spread over her face as she struggled to fit her books in the bag that was slung over her shoulder. She felt more than saw James pause beside her and she looked up in response. A silvery-white phoenix, an exact replica of their Headmaster's pet Fawkes, was flying towards them.

"Dumbledore's Patronus," James murmured to her.

It stopped when it reached them and instead of the soft cry that Lily had previously heard Fawkes elicit, it was Dumbledore's voice that carried out, harsher than normal, stressed and gravely.

"Mr Potter, Miss Evans, there has been an attack. Please meet me on the third floor opposite the statue of Barnabus Billius immediately, your presence is needed at once, please make haste."

Lily shared a bewildered look with James.

"Sounds serious," he said, and for once it was not meant as a joking reference to his closest friend. "Better go."

They took off at a run down the corridor, sprinting down the stairs and turning into the corridor where they both knew the statue of Barnabus Billius stood. They barged past the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle who was standing guard and were met by the majority of the teachers at the school, as well as two of the Hufflepuff prefects, one of which, a sixth year girl by the name of Karen Jackson who Lily was fond of, was bleeding copiously from the head, the arms of her fellow prefect, David Wright, around her.

"Karen!" Lily exclaimed, hurrying forward. "What happened?"

"There were three of them," David told her, his voice shaking with barely suppressed rage. "They stunned me and attacked Karen; we interrupted them torturing a group, mainly younger students by the looks of them."

"Tortured them?" James exclaimed, sounding appalled, lowering his voice as he noticed the Headmaster sweeping towards them. "That's…that's sick! This is a school!"

"I was going to go after them when I came to, but Karen was bleeding, and the younger kids were unconscious…" he told them, looking for reassurance he'd done the right thing.

"You did great mate," James told him immediately. "Nothing more you could have done."

"It's probably best you take Karen to the Hospital Wing. Is that alright Professor?" Lily asked as Professor Dumbledore reached them.

"Of course, off you go Miss Jackson; Madame Duchene will see to you."

Dumbledore waited until the sixth years had rounded the corridor before turning to Lily and James.

"I'm afraid that these attacks have reached a level I never anticipated."

"Is everybody going to be alright Sir?" James asked.

"I believe so. However, now is not the time for discussion; I intend to send the teachers to the Common Rooms', to see who is out of bed when they ought not to be. Other teachers will patrol the corridors with myself. I ask the two of you to clean up here. I think it would be for the benefit of all if the students didn't wake up to this tomorrow morning."

"Of course professor," Lily spoke softly. She was absolutely sickened by what she saw in front of her. Professors bent over small bodies, third years at most, as they stirred feebly, tears streaking down their faces. These students, like her, had been born to Muggle parents, had experienced the wonderment of finding out about magic, had adapted themselves to a new, unfamiliar world, only to be rejected by these blood elitists, and not just rejected, but hurt, maimed, tortured. It was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach. 

"You alright?" James's voice broke her out of her reverie, he looked concerned.

"I'm better than them," Lily swallowed against the lump that had risen in her throat.

"We should get to work."

"Miss Evans?" Lily turned at the sound of Professor McGonagall calling her name.

"Miss Evans, could I have your assistance please?"

"Of course Professor," Lily followed her head of house.

"I need to attend the Gryffindor common room, Professor Langley is taking those that have been attacked to Madame Duchene, but I think Miss Duncan…may need to talk to someone."

"Ida?" Lily said, looking over to where the first year Gryffindor girl sat in the corner, tears silently streaking down her cheeks.

"So far the others have been able to tell us what happened to them, but she hasn't." Professor McGonagall looked troubled. "None of them know the identity of their attackers, only that there were three of them. They're all shaken of course, but Ida…"

"You don't think she's been…" Lily was unable to say the words.

"I don't think so. The use of such powerful Dark magic in the castle alerted Professor Dumbledore and I almost immediately. As far as we know the attacks only lasted a few minutes. Somehow the attackers were gone by the time we arrived," Lily had never seen the older woman looking so weary. "If I can trust you to attend to Miss Duncan?"

"Of course," Lily said and the older woman swept away from her. She looked over at James who was magically repairing the corridor from the damage it had sustained and knew he was capable of managing without her for a little while.

Slowly she approached the young brunette, who still sat sobbing against a wall. Lily recalled speaking to her in her first few weeks at Hogwarts and checking in to make sure she was adjusting to her new life. The young girl had seemed quiet in awe of her, until now, when Lily sat down beside her and she didn't move.

"Ida?" Lily spoke softly, unwilling to startle the frightened girl. "Ida, it's Lily, are you alright? Can you tell me what happened?"

"You said it didn't matter," Ida sniffed quietly, her Irish accent very prominent. "You told me it didn't matter that my parents were Muggles. But they said it did, they said….horrible things. And then they made me hurt. It hurt horribly."

"I know sweetheart," Lily said, wrapping her arms around the shoulders of the shaking girl. "And I'm so sorry they hurt you, but you have to understand, to most people, most wizards and witches, it _doesn't matter._ What matters is how talented you are, how well you do, what you make of your life. Look at me Ida, I'm Muggle born, and I'm Head Girl. And James over there, he's pureblood, from one of the oldest wizarding families around, one of the best, he's practically royalty, and he's Head Boy, but that's not why he got the job, he got it because he's a good leader, a hard worker and a brilliant wizard. We're from very different backgrounds James and I, but we still share an office, because we worked hard, we earned it. And I promise you, Professor Dumbledore will catch the people that are doing this and they will be punished."

Slowly, Ida nodded, wiping the tears away from her face.

"That's a girl. Now where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere, everything aches."

"I bet I can make that better, or rather, Madame Duchene can, a few potions and you'll feel good as new," Lily said to the girl with a forced grin, attempting to make her laugh. "You're about to experience what every single girl in this castle dreams of," she winked at the confused younger girl and looked up. "James, we could use you over here if you've got a moment."

"How can I help?" He asked immediately, striding over and smiling gently at Ida, no hint of the smirk Lily had once detested so much in his expression.

"Ida needs to go to the hospital wing, but she's feeling a little sore. I was hoping you might carry her."

"Of course," James smiled and bent down to be level with Ida's face, no longer pale, but blushing a deep crimson. "Just put your arms around my neck Ida and tell me if I hurt you, I'll be as gentle as I can."

Ida blushed furiously as James easily swung her into his arms and set off down the hallway.

"I'll catch up with you soon James, I'll keep going here."

"No, you won't," James replied in the most authoritative tone she had ever heard him use. "You're coming to the hospital wing with Ida and me."

Surprised by his tone and unable to fathom why he would be so serious Lily followed him blindly. He slowed his pace to match hers and even though he was talking merrily to Ida, his eyes continually swept the corridors around them, looking for some unseen danger.

It wasn't until they had left Ida in the hospital wing and was walking back towards the corridor where the attack had taken place that Lily realized why he was so vigilant. He was worried about her, afraid she was going to be attacked. Because she was a Muggle born, just like those that had been assaulted, because she was under threat of being attacked, tortured, killed even. James was worried about her, because the horrible things she'd seen, the things that had sickened her to her stomach, she was a target for them.

Her eyes welled with tears that she blinked against furiously, she would not cry in front of James Potter. She couldn't think of anything more painful or humiliating than him seeing her cry. She struggled to control her breathing, fighting against the panic that was threatening to overcome her.

He didn't look at her because he knew what he would see and he couldn't bear to look at the tears that he was sure were swimming in her eyes, or the way she would be bitting down on her lip to keep them from spilling over. He couldn't look at her clammy face, couldn't stand to see the realisation that she was in danger written all over it. Because if he did, he wouldn't be able to help himself, he'd have to take her in his arms, have to promise to protect her. Without being able to help himself he'd stroke her hair and press kiss after kiss to her forehead and tell her just how much he loved her and everything he had been working for would be ruined.

He did not, could not, look at her. But he was unable to resist the slight touch to her arm, which let Lily know he was there with her, and reminded him that she was safe, as long as he was there.

Neither would ever know how much the other had drawn from his simple gesture.

**((XX))**

Somehow Lily managed to drag herself to breakfast the next morning, despite not getting to bed until after one, in anticipation of the announcement she was sure the Headmaster was going to make.

She had been half asleep over her porridge when Professor Dumbledore stood up and began to speak. Lily could barely pay attention to his words regarding the attacks, she was already far too intimately acquainted with the details of them to want to listen, though she heard her own name, coupled with James's, several times.

"I can assure you that we will catch the perpetrators behind these crimes," Professor Dumbledore continued gravely. "It is our foremost priority. In the meantime I confer this advice and I implore you all to act on it. Those of you with Muggle parentage, please ensure that you are not out of your Common Rooms outside of hours, do not make any unnecessary trips around the castle and please, do not go out alone. Travel with your friends between classes, to meals and at night. Those of you with Muggle born friends, please do everything in your power to stay with them whenever possible. Protect your friends while I, and the other teachers, do everything we can in order to protect you all. And please, anybody with any information about these attacks, come forward immediately."

Professor Dumbledore sat back down and the hall erupted in conversation once more, heads bending together to discuss the implications of what their beloved Headmaster had just said, and what was implied by what he had not said aloud. Lily's gaze lingered at the teacher's table before she turned back around.

The Marauders were all looking at her, with a single look of determination in their eyes. It was almost frightening how similar the four very different men looked in that moment.

Alice leaned over and whispered in Lily's ear.

"I think you're in trouble."

Lily met their eyes again and she nodded.

"I think you're right."

Alice had been correct. The Marauders seemed to have taken Dumbledore's words as a personal mission for them to protect Lily and be in her presence at all times. Their actions didn't seem unusual at first, they usually walked together to class and sat together some of the time; she convinced herself it was just a coincidence they had _all _needed to go to the Library at the same time, that they had all decided not to leave the Common Room after dinner, but as time went on, and the attacks continued, for the first time on older students, the loose line of friends walking to class together had turned into a protective barrier around Lily, all the Marauders with their wands held loosely in their hands.

At first, Lily found the situation mildly amusing, if not a little reassuring, but when she realised, a week after the attack on Ida and her classmates, that she had not had a single moment to herself for six days, she suddenly found herself missing her solitude. All in all though, she was not about to complain, she knew the Marauders meant well and secretly thought it was very sweet of them to be so concerned for her safety. She had drawn the line however, when Sirius had tried to follow her into the bathroom. 

"You were always pushing your luck with that one mate," James had laughed as Sirius was bodily expelled from the loo.

"Worth a shot," he said, his confidence not at all affected. "They shower together men; any amount of hexing is worth one look at that."

For the first few nights Sirius, Peter and Remus followed her and James around on patrol, always staying half a corridor behind them so as not to attract her notice. On the fourth night this occurred Lily couldn't help but comment.

"It really astounds me that you and your friends have been able to get around this castle at night for years without getting caught too often. They've really struggled with being quiet and going unnoticed the past couple of nights."

James laughed loudly as a scuffle ensued behind them.

"I told you they could hear us Wormtail!"

"And I told you both this was a bad idea from the start."

"Go back to the Common Room you lot," Lily called to them with a grin. "I appreciate it but I doubt anybody will curse me with James around."

"But for once we have an excuse for being out of bounds!" Sirius whined.

"Come on guys, I don't want to have to make James give you detention," Lily laughed.

"He wouldn't." Pete said, very sure of himself.

"No, but I would!" Professor McGonagall's voice appeared out of nowhere. "And I suggest the three of you get to bed, or make plans to spend the rest of the term polishing the silverware in the trophy room."

Lily had never seen the boys scurry so quickly.

The term was quickly drawing to a close and still those responsible for the attacks had not been caught; the thought that perhaps Snape had something to do with it weighed heavily on Lily's mind, but she was resistant to telling anybody of her suspicions. She had no proof, it would be her word against Severus's, and, despite everything that had happened in the past eighteen months, she was unwilling to alienate her former best friend any further, on a hunch.

The second last day of term arrived and the seventh years stumbled through their classes, desperate for the break to arrive. Despite their final examinations still being five months away, stress and exhaustion levels were reaching danger point amongst the N.E.W.T students. Even Sirius had been seen to open a textbook, though he had later claimed it was only to look up a charm to get rid of a love bite that had mysteriously appeared on his neck.

"Total crap," James laughed as Lily recounted the story to him towards the end of their patrol that night. "Padfoot wears his hickeys like trophies. I bet it was to look up something for the Charm's essay that Moony wouldn't help him with."

"How did you come up with those nicknames for each other?" Lily asked, making conversation to keep herself awake.

James grinned down at her.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day. It's a very….interesting story."

"I bet," Lily replied; her derisive comment ruined as she yawned widely. She was exhausted; she hadn't had a proper night sleep in weeks, between study, patrols and classes she was, to quote her father, on her last legs.

"You look beat Evans," James told her. "You're pushing yourself too hard. Looking forward to the holidays?"

"Not really," Lily said quietly, thinking about everything that was waiting for her at home.

James silently cursed himself for his insensitivity. Of course she wasn't looking forward to going home, not when she would be faced with the reality of a dying mother. He suddenly felt bad when he thought of the idyllic vacation he had waiting for him. Both of his parents had managed to wrangle a few days off for Christmas and he and Sirius would be returning to his family home for a week of good food, amazing comforts and a lot of fun.

Lily would probably be spending the entire time in one of those Muggle hospitals. He wished he could go with her to keep her company and make sure she looked after herself. Sometimes he swore if Alice didn't remind her to eat she wouldn't.

"Listen, it's almost midnight. I'll go and give our report to McGonagall and you can head up to bed."

"We're meant to stay together James," Lily said, torn between the idea of an extra five minutes of sleep and sticking to the rules.

"Come on, you're exhausted, I'll only be five minutes behind you," James told her. "But take this."

He reached into his robes and extracted a soft silvery bundle and handed it to Lily.

She looked at it in amazement.

"You have an invisibility cloak Potter?" She exclaimed, running it through his hands. "I've never seen one, these are so rare."

"Family heirloom," James shrugged, though he was silently pleased with her reaction.

"At least this explains how you lot got around out of bounds so much," Lily laughed.

"Take it," James said, pushing it into her arms. "I won't need it."

"Neither will I." Lily protested, trying to give it back to him.

"But still, I'd feel better knowing that you had it," he smiled softly at her and Lily was appalled that his smile took her breath away. He draped it over her shoulders, softly sweeping her hair underneath it. Lily's heart stuttered irregularly.

"Remember, it doesn't muffle any sound, so you'll have to be quiet," he told her. "Sleep well."

"Thanks James. See you tomorrow," she murmured back as they walked in opposite directions.

Lily's tired mind was reeling as she climbed towards Gryffindor tower. She couldn't believe James had an invisibility cloak, let alone how kind he'd been to her. As she took the last set of steps and walked down the corridor where the Fat Lady's portrait could be found she unthinkingly swept the invisibility cloak off, without first looking to see if she was indeed as alone in the corridor as she thought she was.

"Where's your boyfriend Lily?" A voice asked her quietly. "Sent you to bed after he was done with you while he goes looking for his next easy lay?"

Lily tried to stay calm as she regarded Severus Snape. He stood a few feet away from her, his wand clutched lazily in his hand. His expression was carefully blank as he spoke, as if determined not to get angry.

"You've got his cloak," Snape continued. "At least he's trying to keep you safe, though I'm sure he thinks he's protecting you from me. I've been watching Lily, Potter and his stupid friends, walking around you like a guard. Doesn't your boyfriend let you do what you want Lily? Won't let you go anywhere without him or his gang?"

"James isn't my boyfriend Severus," she spoke quietly, working to keep her expression as blank as his.

"I've seen the way you look at him Lily, I know your face, you can't fool me. And the way he looks at you."

"How does he look at me?" Lily asked, trying to bide time as she fought the urge to go for her wand. She knew James couldn't be far away, but couldn't decide if his arrival would calm or agitate the situation.

"The same way I do," Snape told her, and this seemed to make him angrier than anything else he had said. "Tell me Lily, when he's done with you does he give you to his friends? Do they take turns fucking you? Do you like being the Marauder's slut?"

"James is not my boyfriend and I am not the Marauder's slut!" She exclaimed, fighting to keep her temper under control, she couldn't help it; her wand suddenly appeared in her hand.

Snape jumped as if shocked.

"Do you honestly think I'd hurt you Lily?" He asked softly, looking at her wand. "Because I wouldn't, I couldn't. I'd never hurt you the way I hurt the others. I've made sure Mulciber and Avery stayed away as well, they know not to go for you."

"It was you?" Lily breathed.

"You didn't know? Of course it was. But don't worry, we'll be gone soon. I actually came to tell you goodbye and offer you one last shot."

"A shot at what?" Lily asked; her hands shaking furiously as she tried to calm herself.

"Me. You can come with me; I'll give you a good life. You're a talented witch Lily, the Dark Lord; he can show you magic you've never dreamed of. I'll protect you Lily, they won't care that you're Muggle born if you're with me."

Rage, white hot, infuriating rage swept Lily and her wand was pointed directly at Snape as she yelled.

"I'd rather be the Marauder's slut than have anything to do with you and your Death Eater friends!"

Before she had cursed him he'd turned on his tail and ran, faster than she would have thought him capable of and she was left alone in the hallway. Her wand hand dropped as she heaved air in through her suddenly iron lungs, still shaking with rage and shock.

Arms were suddenly around her, dragging her through the portrait hole and into a chair by the fire. She breathed in deep heavy breaths to the point of hyperventilation, and James pushed her head down between her legs, stroking her hair and muttering nonsense to her.

"Shh, shhh it's ok. I've got you, you're safe now."

Eventually Lily's breathing quietened enough that she was able to sit up properly. She looked at James, mortified that he, of all people, had seen her break down.

"How much did you hear?" She asked as she got shakily to her feet.

"I walked in on Snape's erh…offer to you. Though I could hear the shouting earlier. First thing I heard was the Marauders slut comment." Lily was startled to see that James was shaking with barely repressed anger. "You were brilliant though, God you gave it to him!" The ghost of a smile lit his face. "That's my Red."

Lily's heart stuttered to a complete halt before racing ahead of the rest of her body, making her head spin and her chest thud uncomfortably. Had Potter just referred to her as _his_? That was certainly what it had sounded like to her.

"As if I'd be stupid enough to share if I was lucky enough to have you, as if I'd pass you around to my friends, as if you'd let me. He's deluded, the Dark Magic's gone to his brain, or the grease from his hair has finally sunk through. I can't believe he thought you'd go with him! He really doesn't know you at all does he?"

"Not anymore," Lily whispered, falling back into the chair again. "He used to."

James was suddenly aware of how tactless he had been for the second time that night. Of course she'd be upset; her former best friend had been attacking people just like her, was at the disposal of the Dark Lord and had wanted her to join her, after he'd just called her a whore.

He crouched down beside Lily and forced her to meet his gaze.

"It's his loss," he whispered softly to her.

"Yes," Lily agreed, fighting tears, determined not to cry in front of him. "And first thing in the morning I'm going to Dumbledore and telling him that I know who's responsible for the attacks."

**((XX))**

_Yes, I'm updating early! I'm saving myself a half hour in the morning before I have to go to work, and my incredible beta team Kait and Casey got this back to me so quickly that I couldn't resist posting._

_Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, as always, those who leave a signed review will get a preview of Chapter Eight, Departures. _

_Until next Friday, have fun, be safe and draw pictures of Harry in your steamed up bathroom mirrors like I did this morning._

_SC. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** **If I owned Harry Potter, I'd be paying my amazing beta's in something other than love, as it is, I can only offer them my heartfelt thanks. **

**The contents of this story belong to me alone and should be treated as such, please don't be a thief. **

Eight – Departures

"_**To find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him, two"**_

**Norman Douglas**

"Miss Evans, to what do I owe this very early pleasure?"

It was before breakfast the next morning, though it had not occurred to Lily that it was an unsociable hour to be calling on the Headmaster. Truthfully, she had barely slept the night before, she had tossed and turned and even cried a little as she recalled every happy moment she had ever had with Severus and realised they would never have a sequel.

Despite everything that had happened between them in recent years, she had always remained ignorantly fond of the boy who had introduced her to the wonderful world she now existed in. The idea that the same boy, now man, who had told her that she was too good to ever be the target of anything evil had asked her to leave school with him and become a member of the Dark Lord's lackeys was incomprehensible and incredibly painful, and at the same time, Lily questioned how she had been so blind as to not see it before.

"I'm sorry professor, I didn't realise how early it was. I wouldn't be here, except it is urgent."

"Of course, please take a seat. Tea?"

"No thank you," Lily looked down at her lap, chewing her bottom lip. "Professor, I believe I know who's responsible for the attacks."

The Headmaster raised his eyebrows at her, linking his fingers under his chin and gesturing for her to continue.

"It's….Severus Snape professor," Lily swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. "I believe Mulciber and Avery as well."

"I see. How did you become aware of this Miss Evans?" Dumbledore's tone was not doubting, merely curious.

"I've suspected Sever…Snape for a while now Headmaster," Lily stumbled through the words. "The night before the attacks started, we'd had…a confrontation. I think it may have been in retaliation."

"A confrontation? How so?" Dumbledore asked and Lily felt a blush rising into her cheeks.

"Severus found me and James Potter in a compromising situation," she blurted out unthinkingly and her blush deepened at the twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes. "I don't mean…no…it looked bad, but we were only on patrol together."

"Of course; please continue."

Lily hesitated before speaking, confusion and fatigue overcoming her; for in the sleepless hours of the night before she had thought of James also, his anger, his actions, his words. He had referred to her as _his, _she was sure she hadn't misheard. And though the feminist inside of her was screaming that she was not any man's property, she couldn't help but like that James was so possessive of her. After all those years when he had teased and she had retaliated, now that they had both grown up, he was still interested in her, he still wanted her, just as she was waking up to her own feelings. Lily was startled out of her thoughts as she realised that Dumbledore was still waiting for her explanation.

"Well, Snape, got very angry. There was a…scuffle, Mulciber and Avery interrupted, they said something about their 'orders'. During the altercation, Snape made comments about my birth. It wasn't long after that, half an hour maybe that the attacks on Muggle borns started."

Lily met Professor Dumbledore's eyes, feeling desperately as if she had to defend herself. 

"I've thought about saying something Sir, but, I had no proof and I didn't want to go around accusing people of horrible crimes just because they called me names."

"Only fair Miss Evans," Dumbledore said gently. "But something has occurred to change your thinking."

"Yes Sir. Last night, Severus was waiting for me after patrol outside the Common Room. James had sent me back while he reported to Professor McGonagall. I know that was wrong Sir, but I was exhausted."

"Quite all right, please continue."

"Yes well, he was waiting for me. He's under the impression that James and I are…involved and…he was angry about it. We had words and I felt threatened enough to draw my wand. He told me," Lily swallowed hard, "he told me he'd never hurt me the way he hurt 'the others'. He promised me he was keeping me safe from Mulciber and Avery. He said he was leaving soon, he asked me to go with him, he said I was a talented enough witch that my blood wouldn't matter. He offered to take me to the Dark Lord; he said he would teach me magic I'd never even dreamed."

Lily broke off then, unable to say anymore as furious as she was. An anger that appeared, though carefully masked, in the Headmaster's eyes also.

"I see. Thank you very much Lily, for sharing this with me. I know you and Severus were quite close once, this can't have been easy for you. I will investigate this quite thoroughly I assure you."

Lily, understanding herself to be dismissed, stood up.

"Yes Sir, thank you Sir."

"I would anticipate some action on my part in regards to these allegations by the end of the day," Dumbledore told her. "Please keep your eyes open. I know my warnings are wasted on one such as you Lily, but please, be careful."

Lily nodded and left the Headmasters office as quickly as she dared.

**((XX))**

James had barely slept. He had tossed and turned and fought against the tide of thoughts that were overcoming his desire to sleep. The words he had heard Snape fling at Lily echoed in his mind and her fantastic retort made him smile every time he thought of it. He knew he had been too forward when he had spoken to her in the common room; Merlin, he'd gone as far as to call her _his!_

Strong, independent Lily must have hated being referred to as his property, but the words had slipped through his mouth without any conscious effort of his part. Just as he hadn't been able to stop himself from the next thing he'd said. He almost groaned at the thought, sure he had undone all the effort he had put in to making sure Lily knew he was a better person now. _As if I'd be stupid enough to share you if I was lucky enough to have you._

James almost screamed in frustration.

"What happened between you and Lily last night?" Remus whispered covertly to James over breakfast, his bewildered eyes looking between the pale, enervated Lily and the inverted and exhausted James. "Did you fight or something?"

James scowled in the general direction of the Slytherin table, though he could not see Snape anywhere.

"No. Snape was waiting for Lily when we got back from patrol last night." In a hurried whisper he conveyed what had happened to Remus.

"Poor Lily," Remus sighed, looking deeply troubled when James finished. "That must have been horrible; they used to be so close."

James looked sharply at his friend, how was it that Moony knew so much more about Lily than he, who professed to being in love with her since their third year?

And was that jealousy stirring in the pit of his chest? Was he jealous of one of his brothers?

James watched Lily closely throughout the day, but didn't try to push her to speak.

Before Transfiguration she had whispered to him that she had been to see Dumbledore that morning and he had promised to act by the end of the day, but that was the extent of their conversation. Instead, James watched, observed her. He watched as she stared at the door until the start of every class, and then jumped like a skittish cat at every noise. She stared at the empty seat that should have been filled by Snape and James could tell she was wondering where he was, if Dumbledore had acted already. Still, she didn't approach him, didn't speak to him and he was determined that she would make the first move, determined as he was not to overwhelm her when she already looked so fragile.

He almost lost his resolve when, in Potions, Slughorn asked where he was and she gave a strangled little sob from somewhere deep in his chest, but a restraining arm from Moony kept him in his place, agonised as he watched her struggle. Herbology was passed in silence and they parted ways in the castle, as Lily went straight to her dormitory. Tired as he was, James couldn't resist a nap before dinner and he was glad he had, as it turned out dinner was quite an affair; and he needed his wits about him.

For reasons unknown to him, James had a bad feeling as he and his friends descended to the Great Hall for dinner that night. Lily and Alice were with them; Lily silent and groggy looking, Alice full of energy as she poured over her latest letter from Frank, blushing and giggling in equal parts. James looked towards the teachers table to see that the Headmaster was missing; it did nothing to soothe his nerves.

They were about to sit, when from beside him Remus suddenly said –

"Lily, come and sit with James and I."

With a confused look on her face, it was the most animated James had seen her all day. Regardless, she stood and came towards them. James looked towards his friend as they made room for Lily between them.

"You feel it too?" He asked Moony quietly.

Remus nodded.

"I'm not sure what it is, but I know I'd prefer to have Lily between us."

Sirius had watched the whole exchange from the opposite side of the table; he elbowed Peter who was already stuffing his face.

"On your guard boys."

Lily squeezed in between James and Moony and reached for a piece of bread. James breathed steadily, trying to remain calm and self-possessed as he felt Lily's leg brush against his thigh.

Remus looked him calmly in the eye over the top of Lily's head.

"Now's not the time Prongs," he told him levelly.

Lily looked between them a little curiously and James did his best to ignore the feeling of her soft thigh pressed against his.

"Thanks Moony," he nodded his head.

And all hell broke loose.

The Hall was suddenly plunged into darkness and the cries of protest were muffled by a large resounding bang as the doors flew open and crashed into the walls. James's wand immediately jumped into his hand and beside him he felt Lily jump, her hands grasping his arm.

"Get your wand out," he whispered to her and he felt her fumbling in her pockets for it, shaking. "It's alright I've got you," his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

James sensed, more than felt, the presence of someone behind them and he froze, listening for any small sound that could indicate movement. His ears strained, his heart thudding audibly in his ears, only seconds had passed since the doors had been opened.

"Last chance Lily," a voice whispered, threateningly close. "I shouldn't be doing this, but I want you to come with me. You don't have to be with Potter, Lily, come with me instead. We could be great."

In that moment James forgot he was a wizard, his wand was forgotten as he wheeled around and did something he'd wanted to do since his first trip to Hogwarts, seven years previously. He punched Severus Snape square in the mouth.

The darkness was suddenly illuminated by flashes of spell light, red, green, gold, all flew through the air with startling ferocity. James leapt to his feet and shoved Lily under the table without ceremony, he felt Remus beside him and then Sirius joined him, Peter next to him. Suddenly, the darkness lifted, standing near the entrance, his wand held aloft and his face furious, was the Headmaster.

"Not very well played boys," he spoke calmly to Snape, Mulciber and Avery. "You've been foolish, taken too many risks. This is the end."

"It was always meant to be the end," Snape told him, just as calm.

"And if you think we're going to stay here and wait to be arrested you're wrong," Avery sneered.

"I never really expected that," Dumbledore said with a sigh. "But I'd rather not hurt you either, it's not to late boys."

"It was too late years ago you delusional old man," Mulciber spat. "We've only been around this long because of…"

"I believe Miss Evans has made her decision Severus," Dumbledore was speaking directly to Snape now. "You could stay however."

All eyes in the Hall flicked between Lily and Snape. He turned to look at her, as she stood behind the Marauders.

"You've made the wrong choice Lily," he said in a whisper that carried across the room, before turning to his accomplices. "You know what to do."

Shocked cries went up through the hall as Snape, Mulciber and Avery fled on foot, out of sight within seconds. Nobody moved, not even Dumbledore, who merely lowered his wand with a lazy flick, putting everything back in order.

The Hall erupted with conversation as people realised that those responsible for the attacks on Muggle born students had just left the school. Dumbledore was in conference with the other teachers and almost every eye in the hall was trained on them to see what they would do next.

James had no interest in the actions of the professors, instead, he was looking directly at Lily, who was pale and shaking as he tried to figure out whether he should listen to his instincts, which were screaming at him to take her in his arms and never let her go again, or the look that Alice was giving him, that indicated that he ought to give Lily some headspace.

After a minute, Lily managed a small smile in the direction of Alice and the Marauders.

"Thanks. I've…lost my appetite. I'll see you later, for patrol James."

Before he could protest she was gone, sweeping out of the hall, seemingly oblivious to the stares that followed her.

Patrol was an uncomfortable experience that night. Lily was withdrawn and silent as they perambulated the corridors and James tried to make conversation, or do anything, to stop making Lily look so wretched. Silently, he wondered if she realised how miserable she was making him by being so downcast herself. Because he couldn't be happy when her eyes were red and puffy, her mouth turned down and her face ashen. The urge to take her in his arms was almost overwhelming and he struggled against it for the entire two hours.

Their patrol was over, and they were just about to part ways when he couldn't help himself any longer; just as she was about to say goodnight he stopped her.

"I'm sorry about today," he told her, giving up fighting against the irrational urge to apologise to her. "You didn't deserve what happened. Snape…he's an idiot to throw away your friendship like that. If you need to talk, you know where I am."

Lily mustered a smile.

"Thanks James, but I don't want to talk; I just want to forget about it."

"If you're sure."

"I am thanks."

"Well, I'm going to bed. Are you?" He asked, personally thinking she should, she looked as if she hadn't slept in days, and they were leaving for home on the Hogwarts Express straight after breakfast the next day.

"I'm going to sit up for a while, night James."

"Night….Evans," he silently cursed himself, unable to bring himself to call her Lily.

The dormitory he shared with his closest friends was silent as he came through the door. He changed for bed in silence, and made sure the bag he was taking home was packed, to save himself time in the morning. He slipped into bed and lay in silence, not moving, for over an hour, as he pondered if there was any way to make Lily happy, before he didn't see her for two full weeks. He contemplated how he'd manage, not seeing her for so many days in a row and, most troublingly, if his attempts to prove himself to her didn't work before the end of the year, which was only five months away, how would he cope, parting with her, without any claim on her or her heart.

How would he manage, how would he cope, knowing she was forming a life he wasn't a part of? Not seeing her every day? He felt almost sick at the thought.

His disturbing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the hangers to the right of his bed being drawn backwards and footsteps crossing the dormitory and going down the spiral staircase towards the Common Room.

Remus.

**((XX))**

Lily had been staring out the window for the past hour, watching the snow fall, lost in memories, when she heard footsteps coming from the boys' dormitories. She expected to see a fifth year sneaking down to see his girlfriend before they both left for the Christmas holidays. She was contemplating whether she had the energy left to reprimand them when she saw Remus Lupin coming towards her.

"What are you doing up?" She asked, as he leaned against the wall next to the alcove she was sitting in. "Did James send you down to check on me?"

"He's asleep," Remus told her.

"He's been so nice to me," Lily said with a sigh. "I feel bad, not being able to talk to him about it. It's ingrained though, I feel like I'm constantly waiting for him to make fun of me, or curse someone, or play a silly prank. I'm not being very fair on him am I?"

"Old habits are hard to break," Remus said fairly. "James doesn't mind, he just wants you to be happy, he really cares about you Lily, even though he hasn't always made that obvious."

"I…I think I care about him too, Remus. I should give him a chance really, I'm so confused."

"You've had a lot on your mind, James understands."

The two friends were silent for several long minutes.

"You can talk to me you know," Remus told her, gently touching her arm.

It was all the encouragement Lily needed to break down into tears.

Silently, Remus moved closer to her and she collapsed into his chest. Though the arms that were around her weren't exactly the ones Lily was wishing for, they were almost as good.

"He was my best friend Remus. You don't understand. He was the one that told me I was a witch, he helped me understand it all, taught me how to control my powers when I was young. We celebrated getting our Hogwarts letters together; I was so relieved that I already knew someone; that I wasn't going alone! And then I was sorted into Gryffindor, and I love Gryffindor I really do, but I was devastated when I found out that Sev and I were meant to hate each other. But he told me it didn't matter, that we'd be friends anyway. And I know what he's turned into, and it's horrible, I hate it, but still, I miss him. He was my first real friend, the first one I could tell everything to. Can you imagine losing that Remus? Can you imagine what it would be like finding out that the other Marauders were different people from what you thought they were? Or, worse yet, that they didn't want to be your friends anymore, because of what you were?"

Remus shuddered unconsciously in response to Lily's words and she immediately felt bad.

"Oh Remus, I'm sorry, I didn't even think about your circumstances," she looked at him earnestly, still in his embrace.

"My circumstances?" He echoed; his voice carefully blank.

"Remus, I know," she told him and his eyes tightened, though he didn't respond.

"I've known since fifth year. It didn't take me long to figure it out when we were prefects together. You didn't really think that it could escape my notice; that you disappeared every month, how sick you were before and after the full moon? I know you were bitten Remus, I know you're a werewolf a night out of every month."

He stepped back from her, paling visibly, though she wouldn't let go of him.

"You know? And you've never said anything? You know and you stand here in the middle of the night with me, alone, letting me touch you?"

"Of course. The full moon isn't for another three weeks," Lily scoffed, trying to put him at ease. "I don't think you're dangerous Remus. It's fine with me."

"Fine?" He echoed incredulously.

"How can it be fine? It's not fine with me."

"I didn't mean to be insensitive. It's not fine, but I'm not afraid to be with you. You're a good friend Remus; why else would you be in the Common Room with me, letting me cry my eyes out, at two in the morning?"

"You're not afraid of me?"

"Of course not," Lily smiled at him.

"You truly are a gem Lily Evans," he grinned, pulling her into a backbreaking hug.

"James told me that not long ago," she said thoughtfully, returning his hug.

"Give him a chance Lily. He's a good guy, you're all he wants in the world; he'd be beyond good to you."

"I know, I think you're right Remus, thanks."

"Anytime Lily, thank you."

"No problem Moony."

They both laughed, now that they all knew that she was in on the joke.

**((XX))**

James stood silently at the foot of the stairs, hidden behind the tapestry that blocked the entrance. He watched the interaction between his friend and the girl he loved with his heart in his chest. He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but from the earnest expressions on both of their faces, he could only guess it was serious. He stood and watched, his imagination running into overdrive at what they could be saying to each other.

It was when Lily began to sob in response to something that Remus had said to her that James wished he had not snuck out of bed. He watched in agony as she did not flinch away from Moony's embrace, they way she had from his, as the tears that she had so stubbornly held back in front of him flowed freely in front of one of his best friends.

Was that it then? Is that why she had never agreed to go out with him? Had he been misreading the signs he was sure he had seen in her this year? Had all his efforts to show her the real, gentler him been in vain? Had he been fooling himself thinking that maybe she was warming to him? All this time, had she really been interested in Remus?

And him, his closest friend! The friend he had done so much for, whose secret he'd kept, how could he do this? Remus knew how James felt about Lily; he'd been the most understanding about it, was it because he too, fancied her?

The thought that he had competition from one of his closest friends was unbearable, in frustration, James punched the wall.

Never once did it cross his mind that they could be talking about him, or that Lily may have needed a friend without an ulterior motive in comforting her. He stalked back towards the dormitory he shared with his friends, angry, with a throbbing hand and wondering how he was going to face the both of them the next morning.

**((XX))**

Lily felt horrible.

Overnight it appeared that not only had she lost her oldest friend, but one of her newest as well. She couldn't explain why James was suddenly ignoring her, but she could only assume it had something to do with irony. Of course the day after she had decided to listen to her instincts and accept that James had changed, was the day he decided he wanted nothing more to do with her. She had been hoping for a pleasant trip home full of laughter and fun to distract her from the events of the day before and what she was certain she would find at home.

The reality of their trip was very different.

The Marauders, as well as Alice and Lily were all crowded into a compartment that truly wasn't large enough for that many people. They had all crammed in, Lily finding herself squeezed between the window and Sirius for the trip. The atmosphere in the compartment was tense as James blatantly ignored Remus and Lily and all their attempts at making conversation; Peter looked bewilderedly between his obviously feuding friends and Sirius made as much noise as possible to compensate for the quietness of the others. Alice was oblivious to it all, delighted at the prospect of seeing Frank for two whole weeks.

Lily had given up on making conversation, somewhere halfway through the trip and had spent the rest of her time staring out the window and contemplating what would happen during the holidays. She had no idea what would be waiting for her at home, how unwell her mother would be or how sad her father. She was sure the time would drag.

And this was not how she wanted to leave things with James, though she had no idea what she'd done to upset him so.

The train pulled up at Platform 9 ¾ and Alice was off before the train had stopped fully, hugging each of them briefly and bounding off the train into the waiting arms of Frank Longbottom. Peter was not far behind, excited for the family vacation he was directly leaving for. Lily stood up, hesitating by the door; James, Sirius nor Remus had moved.

"Have a good holiday Lily," Remus said, his eyes calmly fixed on James.

"I'll walk you off the train Evans," Sirius said, also standing. "Meet you on the platform Prongs, Moony."

"Have a good Christmas James, see you in two weeks," she tried hesitantly for the final time.

"Evans," he nodded coolly at her.

Lily's temper suddenly flared at his cool demeanour. She slammed the door to the compartment closed and stormed away. After everything they'd been through that term, after he'd convinced her that he'd changed, all of it was lies!

James Potter really was an arrogant toe-rag after all.

**((XX))**

"So I'm guessing you heard me go down and talk to Lily last night?" Remus surmised as the two friends sat on the immobile train.

James didn't respond.

"And, judging on the way you're being a total prat, I'm guessing you couldn't hear what we said."

Again, James didn't speak; Remus chose to take that as a confirmation.

"So you know then, that you're being a total idiot because I was telling Lily how much you care about her, and she was admitting that she thinks she ought to give you a chance."

James gapped now at his friend.

"Honestly James, do you think I'd do this to you? Even if I did fancy Lily, which I don't, I could never betray you that way. Some credit, please."

"Sorry," James mumbled, his eyes downcast. "It was just, all day, I tried. All term really. And she wouldn't confide in me, wouldn't let me in, and then you…in ten minutes…"

"Have you ever thought James," Remus interrupted, "that maybe Lily's afraid to let her guard down in front of you? Think about it, for years, you clashed, you teased her and played pranks on her and I know that you regret it now, but the truth is, you still did it. And all those times, how often did Lily get upset? She got mad sure, but she never cried, or stamped her feet or anything like that. And now, after all that, you've changed, and she likes knowing the real you, I know she does. But that doesn't mean that she can forget everything that happened and let her guard down to you. She's spent years working on not breaking down or crying in front of you, not showing any sign of weakness. You can't expect that to change straight away."

James stared at his friend, surprised by how much sense Remus was making. Then he realised exactly what he'd done.

"Merlin, I've fucked things up royally haven't I?"

"Sorry mate, but you really have," Remus shrugged.

James hung his head as he realised that there was no tomorrow in which to repent for what he'd done. He wouldn't see Lily for two weeks, and if the look on her face when they'd parted was anything to go by, they'd be on worst terms when school stared again than they had been on September first that year.

**((XX))**

_Welcome back to Friday, and once again, thanks for reading._

_Your amazing review always make me smile and I hope the preview of Chapter Nine, which is of yet untitled, will make all those who review and subsequently receive it smile also._

_Let me know your thoughts, I'd love to hear them._

_Until next week!_

_- SC._


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: ****All recognisable characters and places are the property of Ms. Rowling and should be treated as such, if only the rest of us were so brilliant. The story line however, is the property of SarCoops 2010.**

"_**Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again."**_**  
****Unknown**

Lily couldn't remember a time when she had enjoyed her time off school less. Angry, upset and confused as she had been when she had left the train, infuriated by the behaviour of James Potter and determined to block him out of her mind, how could she have thought that she was falling for someone who couldn't even call her by her first name?

But she wouldn't think about him.

And it wasn't as if she didn't have anything else to think about, her holidays had been horrible. She had been to see her mother, now residing near permanently in hospital, as soon as she was off the train and had ended up outside the hospital, vomiting into the garden bed, at the sheer horror of her mothers condition struck her with a horrifying certainty. Elizabeth Evans had only weeks left of life, she could no longer breathe by herself, her heart, which for so long had been crippled by the debilitating disease that was slowly taking her away from her family, was giving up the battle. But still, she remained cheerful, the smile that had stretched across her sunken face at seeing her youngest daughter had broken Lily's heart and in that moment, Lily had decided that she wasn't returning to Hogwarts for the end of the year.

It took several days of long conversations, pleading from her mother and orders from her father to convince Lily that Hogwarts was the best place for her. To her surprise, even Petunia had been in favour of her returning to school, though Lily suspected it had more to do with keeping her out of her way than anything else. Petunia was engaged, her fiancé was a man named Vernon Dursley, and though Lily had not met him, she had seen a photo, and, if she was to be honest, he looked like an obese walrus. Even her mother, who was normally determined to find the best in everyone, had secretly admitted that she found him frightfully boring, but had relented in saying that he seemed to make Petunia happy, and that was what was most important.

All in all, Lily hadn't enjoyed her holidays at all.

And things only got worse as she was woken late in the morning on Christmas Eve. Lily was lying in bed, pretending to be asleep so she didn't have to wake up and face the day, when she heard her bedroom door open, and the sounds of somebody going through her things.

She flew out of bed, reaching for her wand, which was sitting on her bedside table and holding it aloft. She relaxed as she saw Petunia, rummaging around on her desk.

"Looking for something Petunia?" She asked.

"Yeah, my…umm…novel. The one with the pink cover, you haven't seen it have you?"

Lily knew Petunia was lying, and her eyes narrowed in response.

"No, I haven't," determined to find what her sister was looking for, she plucked some clothes out of her closet. "I'm going to shower."

"Okay," Petunia said quickly and far too eagerly for Lily's liking.

As quickly as she could, Lily raced through the shower, washing her hair and drying it with her wand. She donned the jeans and long sleeved shirt she had grabbed from her bedroom, applied her normal light cover of makeup and left the bathroom.

As soon as she entered her bedroom she knew something was different. The spell books and parchment that had been heaped on her desk were gone; Helene's cage was empty and had been placed underneath her desk. The Gryffindor banners that had previously adorned the walls had been replaced by, Lily blanched, Tina Turner, the Beatles and the Beach Boys.

"Petunia!" Lily yelled, running down the stairs. "What have you done to my bedroom?"

Petunia was sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee. She shrugged at Lily.

"It's Christmas Eve, Lily. Have you forgotten that Vernon is coming over this afternoon? I've put all your…things…in a box. I'll put them up tonight, after he's gone."

"Why does it matter what my room looks like?" Lily demanded.

"Because Vernon doesn't know…about your…abilities," Petunia looked as though she'd swallowed a lemon. "And you're room makes it a little obvious."

"Why would he be in my room?" Lily demanded, her temper flaring.

"He won't be, but I'm not taking any chances of him finding out, until I've tied him down."

Lily almost screamed in frustration.

"If this Vernon loves you enough to marry you Petunia, why would it matter that your sister is a witch?"

"Keep your voice down!" Petunia hissed. "Do you want the world to know? You might not be ashamed of what you are, but I am."

"That's it, I'm going," Lily stormed out of the kitchen and almost ran into her father, who had obviously been on his way to intervene in his daughters' disagreement.

"Sorry Daddy, but I can't put up with her anymore. I need some time out, I'll go and visit Katie, but I'll be back after dinner tonight."

"Okay Lily," her father sighed, looking wearied beyond his years. "Be safe."

"Thanks Daddy," she hugged him briefly, just in time for Petunia to storm out of the kitchen again.

"Lily, where do you think you're going? Vernon is expecting to meet you?"

"I don't care what you're stupid fat fiancé is expecting!" Lily told her. "As far as I'm concerned I don't care if I ever meet him, if I'm so embarrassing to you."

"For God's sake Lily, don't take it so personally. I know you like being a freak but…"

And that was Lily's breaking point, instead of going upstairs to get her jacket and bag as she'd been intending, she Apparated directly out of the hallway.

Despite what she had told her father, she was not going to visit her best friend at her London apartment. Katie was in Bulgaria over the winter, training with their national team in the Quidditch off season. She could go and visit Alice, but she didn't want to interrupt her time with Frank. She could go into Muggle London and do some shopping, but truthfully, she wanted to be amongst magic, so she went to the first place she could think of, Diagon Alley.

The Alley was incredibly busy, on the day before Christmas, with wizards and witches bustling around doing all their last minute shopping. She wished she had have made time to get a jacket, it was freezing in the Alley. Lily truthfully didn't feel like shopping, so instead, she made her way into the Leaky Cauldron. She found a seat at the bar and ordered a Firewhiskey, feeling the need to drown her sorrows and consider her next move.

Now that she was thinking logically, perhaps coming here hadn't been the best of decisions. In her desperate desire to be near magic she had completely forgotten that being alone in the wizarding mall probably wasn't safe, for a Muggle born such as herself. She stared at her untouched Firewhiskey, wondering what her next move should be. She couldn't go home and face Petunia, and she was equally as unwilling to go and visit her mother, not wanting her to know that her daughters were fighting.

Lily picked up the glass of Firewhiskey and threw it down in one; it burnt her throat on the way down. Lily looked speculatively at the bartended, considering asking for another drink. Maybe getting drunk was the best way to forget what a complete disaster the first few days of the holidays had been…

"Evans?"

Lily spun around in shock; she knew that voice, standing behind her, his arms laden with bags was James Potter.

"James?" She stared at him in shock for a moment, trying to ignore how handsome he looked in his well fitting jeans, loafers and button down jacket. "How…how are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you? What are you doing here, by yourself?" He looked her up and down, his eyes finally coming to rest on the empty glass in front of her, his eyebrows shooting up his head. "You don't have a jacket?"

"I left the house in a bit of a hurry," Lily admitted.

James looked at her in concern.

"Can I sit down?" He gestured

Lily's brow furrowed, only that morning hadn't she resolved to stop thinking about him. Hadn't she decided that he really was a toe-rag after all?

James seemed to sense her hesitation.

"I'm sorry about the other day on the train. I was out of line and I had the wrong idea. Moony set me straight."

Lily looked at him, he sounded sincere, and she was sure it was the first time she'd ever heard him apologise.

"Sit down then."

He minimised his bags just as she had done that day in the Three Broomsticks and tucked them securely into his pocket as he sat down.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked.

And, to her surprise, Lily found that she did.

She told him everything, about how ill her mother was, how she had been determined not to go back to Hogwarts until her parents had convinced her that she should, then about Petunia, and her engagement and everything that had happened that morning. When she was finished, James looked at her, before turning back to the bar and ordering another two shots of Firewhiskey.

"I think you've earned this," he told her, saluting her as he tipped his down his throat. "That's a hellish holiday."

"No kidding," Lily murmured, slowly downing her own. She shivered gently as it slipped down her throat.

Before she could argue, James had unzipped his parker and was helping her into it.

"Please, James, you'll freeze," she protested in vain.

"And it's better that you'd get hypothermia?' He questioned, shaking his handsome head at her. "I'll be fine."

Lily gratefully huddled down into the warm jacket, inhaling the musky scent of James and the cologne he always wore. It made her head rush.

"Are you going to go home?" James asked her.

"Not yet. I told Dad I'd be home after dinner. I don't know what I'll do between now and then," she admitted, still revelling in the warmth of his jacket.

"Why don't you come home with me?" James suggested. "My parents are at home and Sirius."

"I can't do that," Lily protested. "It's Christmas Eve."

"Exactly. You shouldn't be by yourself and everybody would love to see you," he turned the full force of his eyes on her, their hazel depths looking into her green ones. "Please, I'd really like to spend the day with you."

For a moment, Lily didn't answer. She'd forgotten how to speak, how to breathe even. Deftly, she nodded, before finding her voice.

"If you're sure it wouldn't be a bother."

James's answering smile was so large and heartfelt that Lily felt bad for turning him down so many times in the past. If she had have known he would react so joyfully, she might have agreed. Except that this wasn't a date, just a friend helping another.

"It's no bother," James said, still smiling at her. "Are you ready to go?"

"If you are," Lily replied and he nodded. "How did you get here?"

"I Apparated."

Lily frowned, she wasn't sure how to get to a house she had never been to.

"I can side-along you," James suggested.

"That would work."

James insisted on paying for their drinks and then they left the pub, going outside to the Apparation point.

"I'll have to…hold onto you," James told her.

"Oh right. Yeah," Lily said lamely, her heart racing as he gently wrapped his arms around her wait and she reached around his neck. They were very close.

"You ready?" He squeezed her gently.

She nodded and then the world disappeared in a blur of colour and sound.

As quickly as it had started it was over. They were standing outside in the snow, their arms still wrapped around each other, facing the largest house, no, manor, that Lily had ever seen.

"James, your house, it's gorgeous!" She breathed. She had known James came from a wealthy family, but this was beyond anything she had ever imagined.

He seemed rather embarrassed as he hurried her up the path to the house. Lily saw no fences, or roads near by, leading her to assume that it was his property, or at least his parents, for as far as the eye could see. She caught sight of a full sized Quidditch pitch to the East and woods not far beyond that. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

He still had his arm wrapped lightly around her waist as he pushed open the front door and led her inside.

"I'm home!" He called out.

"Prongs!" A voice Lily recognised as Sirius's called out. "Did you bring me a present? Did you?"

Sirius was running towards them like an overexcited puppy, he paused, shock written all over his face as he caught sight of Lily, James's arm still around her.

"You did bring me a present," he said smoothly, his usual suave demeanour suddenly back in place as he smiled at Lily. "How are you Evans?"

"Not bad Sirius, you?"

"Great. James goes out to buy Christmas presents and comes back with you. I wish I had have had some warning."

"We ran into each other," James said evasively.

"You should be careful doing that," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "That's how babies are made."

James took aim at his best friends head and Lily followed them down the entrance passageway, all sadness forgotten as she laughed at their antics.

"Do I get a tour?" She asked, stepping between them.

"Are you kidding? It would take all day!" Sirius laughed. "I used to think my family's place was big until I came here. I've upgraded," he winked at her and she couldn't stop her laughter. 

"It's a beautiful house," she commented.

"You should tell my mum that," James laughed. "She loves talking about this place; I swear she married my dad half because of this house."

"I can see why," Lily breathed, looking at the ornately carved angels that decorated the rafters of the house.

"You should've bought her here years ago Padfoot," Sirius laughed. "You'd be married with, how many was it, twelve kids, by now."

James flushed a little in response to Sirius's teasing and aimed for his head again. Lily deftly threaded an arm around each of their elbows to keep them separate and pulled them forward.

"Your parents are in the library if you want to see them, I'm sure they'd like to meet our lovely Miss Evans here."

"Do you mind?" James asked her.

"Of course not, I'm in their house after all," though secretly, Lily was nervous. James seemed to sense her uneasiness, he squeezed her arm gently.

"Don't worry, they'll be very glad to meet you," he reassured her. "And you'll just love the library."

"Perhaps the Firewhiskey wasn't a good idea," Lily said with a nervous giggle.

Sirius tipped his head back and laughed loudly.

"I do love it when you drink Evans."

Lily couldn't help herself; she pinched the inside of Sirius's elbow, his high-pitched squeak echoed off the balustrades and into the high ceilings.

They paused outside a room at the end of a hallway and James looked at her solemnly.

"You have to promise that, one day, you'll drag yourself out of here," his eyes were sparking mischievously.

"I promise," Lily replied, with an equal attempt at seriousness, though the corners of her mouth twitched.

As James pushed the doors open he added, almost as an afterthought –

"Ignore anything my parents say. It's all lies."

"More like embarrassing truths," Sirius retorted.

Lily's laughter died in her throat as she stepped inside the door that James held open for her. Inside was a library beyond her greatest imaginings, the kind of library she had always dreamed of having in her own house one day. Floor to ceiling, covered in mahogany stacks, all piled high with thick leather volumes, covering three walls, including the one with the door she had just entered. The fourth wall, directly facing the door, was glass from floor to ceiling, a large bay window, with a bench seat stuffed with cushions, and it was on that seat that two people, a man and a woman, both with greying hair and dressed in, to Lily's surprise, Muggle clothing, sat. She could only assume that these were James's parents.

"James, you're home," his mother said with a smile as she noticed him. "And you have a guest."

"Hi mum," James stooped to kiss his mother as she approached. She was a tall woman, her face older than Lily would have expected, but still with the remanets of beauty on her face. Her kind smile in Lily's direction was what endeared her to Lily the most. James's father had stood also, taller than his wife; Lily was shocked to see how strongly James resembled his father. To her further surprise, James also kissed his father as he approached. "Morning dad."

"Are you going to introduce us son?" His father asked, chucking him over the head gently.

"Dad, mum, this is Lily Evans. We go to Hogwarts together, she's Head Girl."

Both of his parents turned to Lily and smiled and she smiled back, while her heart thudded uncomfortably in her chest. She didn't think she had ever heard James call her by her first name before, and she liked that way it sounded to her ears.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr and Mrs Potter," she said politely. "I'm sorry to intrude on a holiday."

"Nonsense," Mrs Potter said, taking one of Lily's hands in both of hers. "All of James's friends are welcome, anytime. It's lovely to meet you."

"Careful Doreas," Mr Potter chuckled. "You told Sirius that once as well, and he's never left."

"I don't think you'll have that problem with Evans," Sirius laughed as well. "Though she loves the house so much she might never leave."

"Sirius Black, where are your manners? You don't call a young lady by her last name only. You refer to her as Miss Evans, unless she invites you to call her Lily," Mrs Potter chided gently.

"Sorry mum," Sirius ducked his head in mock shame.

"I think I rather like the idea of Sirius calling me Miss Evans," Lily commented with a smile and James laughed.

"The weather looks frightful out there," Mrs Potter observed. "Don't you have a jacket Lily?"

"I left the house in rather a hurry this morning," Lily told the older woman. "I didn't even think of it until it was too late."

"James you could have got a jumper for Lily to wear," his father told him.

"I gave her mine didn't I?" James protested, but he was still smiling. "My parents are big on chivalry," he said in an undertone to her.

Lily pressed her lips into a silent smile, refusing to say what was going through her mind. James smirked, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking and excused himself.

"Come and sit," Mrs Potter encouraged. "You must be freezing."

Lily and Sirius followed the Potter's to the bench seats that were at the other end of the room and sat down; James was back with lightening speed, handing a large woollen jumper to Lily.

"It'll be a little big, but it's the smallest I've got," he apologised.

She thanked him and reluctantly gave back his jacket, which he shrugged in to. She donned his jumper, smiling as she realised that it came to mid thigh length, and she had to roll the sleeves back several times to use her hands. He really was _so _much taller than her.

"How do you take your tea Lily?" Mrs Potter asked, her hands hovering over a tea cup, as Lily struggled to free her hair from the jumper.

"Lemon and honey," James replied for her, she turned to him in surprise.

"How did you know that?" She asked.

"I pay attention," he shrugged nonchalantly.

Lily accepted her tea from Mrs Potter with a word of thanks.

"We've got sandwiches on the way for lunch," she proclaimed, with a fond smile at James and Sirius. "Tell me Lily, do they starve you at Hogwarts?"

Lily smiled a little affectionately at the boys, both of whom had perked up considerably at the mention of food.

"The way these two eat, you would imagine so."

"And you're brave enough to sit with them?" Mr Potter said with a laugh.

"The girl's a Gryffindor," Sirius retorted, grinning.

"She must be," Mrs Potter was still smiling indulgently. "But you will try to be civilized today won't you boys."

"We'll try," Sirius grinned wickedly. "But no promises."

"Lily knows us well enough by now mum, I don't think theirs a hope of trying to convince her that we're polite," James was speaking to his mother, but his eyes were clearly on Lily.

"Don't listen to them Mr and Mrs Potter," Lily struggled to drag her eyes from James's. "I know they want you to think that their savages at school, but I know them better."

Mrs. Potter beamed at her and Sirius groaned.

"You've just undone years of hard work Lil's."

As he spoke a house elf entered the room, precariously balancing a huge plate of sandwiches in it's hands. Lily watched, as Mrs Potter took the sandwiches off the elf and thanked it. Lily had never seen a house elf outside of Hogwarts before and she was interested to see how James and his family interacted with what she assumed was a female elf, judging on the tone of its voice and its general level of cleanliness.

The elf turned to James, a shrewd expression on her face as she looked between James and Lily.

"Master James has a guest?" She questioned.

"I sure do Berry," he commented, grinning at the elf and beckoning her over. "Strawberry this is Miss Lily Evans; she's a friend of mine. Lily, I'd like you to meet Berry, she's looked after me since I was a baby."

Lily was once again struck by how nice her name sounded on his tongue.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Berry," Lily offered, as the elf looked between her and James again.

"I is glad to meet you Miss Lily," she bowed, turning to James. "Miss Lily is Master James's…friend."

"Yes Berry."

The elf bowed at Lily again delightedly.

"Berry is very, very happy to help Miss Lily with anything Miss Lily needs," she said with a very tooth smile. "Berry likes Miss Lily very much, she does."

Lily couldn't help but smile at the elf.

"Thank you very much Berry, you're very sweet."

The elf beamed, before taking the tray that she had come in with and exiting the room.

"You didn't tell me you were an elf charmer Evans," Sirius looked bemused. "And I thought Berry reacted well to me."

Mr and Mrs Potter were both laughing aloud, at a joke it appeared only they understood.

"When I first bought your mother home to meet my parents, I introduced her to Berry's mother as my "friend". Berry's mother told the story often that she knew we were more than friends," Mr Potter chortled, looking affectionately at his wife. "I'm sure Berry thinks that history is repeating itself."

Sirius howled with laughter and Lily felt a blush creeping into her cheeks; beside her, James, too, appeared a little embarrassed.

They ate in the library, all the while Sirius tried to persuade James to give him his Christmas present a day early. Lily found she was enjoying herself immensely, much more than she would have expected. As lunch ended, Sirius started jumping up and down in his seat.

"He really is like an overexcited puppy," Lily commented dryly to James, who laughed surprisingly loudly.

"We have something that we normally do after lunch on Christmas Eve," James told her, with an amused grin in Sirius's direction.

"What's that?" Lily asked, also grinning as Sirius struggled to stay in his seat.

"A snowball fight!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping to his feet, a broad grin on his face. "It's tradition."

"You up for it?" James asked, grinning at her as well.

Their excitement appeared to be infectious; Lily couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Sure, why not."

"Upstairs first, warm clothes, gloves and hats please," Mrs Potter instructed. "Find something for Lily please James."

Lily trailed after the boys as they shot upstairs in their childish excitement for a snowball fight. She followed a little way behind them, wondering how her day had bought her here and why she was enjoying herself so much. Over the last summer she had realised how much more comfortable she was in the wizarding world than the Muggle world she had grown up as a little girl in. Perhaps that was why she was suddenly so much happier than she had been since a few days before the holidays had started, why she was able to, if not forget, at least push the troubles with Severus, her mum and Petunia to the back of her mind.

"This is my room," Sirius announced. "I'll see you two downstairs. Soon," He stressed the last word.

"He's like a kid sometimes," Lily laughed.

"You're telling me," James grinned. "I used to beg my parents for a little brother, I guess I've got one now."

Lily couldn't help but smile at the affectionate tone in James's voice.

"My bedroom's just through here," he indicated to a door at the end of the corridor they were in. "I'll just erh…go in and…tidy up a bit," a faint trace of pink coloured his cheeks. Lily couldn't help but smile.

"James Potter, you're not embarrassed are you?" She teased, nudging him gently in the ribs.

He looked at her, a smile spreading over his face.

"Are you…teasing me Evans?" He asked, his eyes flashing with the same heartbreaking smile that made his already handsome face all the more delightful.

"I learnt from the best," Lily jabbed with a grin.

"Alright…alright come in, but don't say I didn't warn you. Mum won't let Berry clean in here anymore, says it's my own responsibility," he shook his head in mock disgust as he pushed the door open to his bedroom.

James's bedroom was very large and Lily was immediately enchanted. Like her room had been until Petunia's ministrations that morning, it was covered in Gryffindor paraphernalia, as well as posters of his favourite Quidditch team, Pride of Portree. The purple and gold of the Quidditch team clashed magnificently with the scarlet and gold of the Gryffindor house kit, but somehow, it worked. Despite the various articles of clothing scattered across the floor, his room was relatively clean, his broom taking pride of place, mounted on the wall. James turned immediately for the wardrobe on the far side of the room, but Lily's eyes were drawn to the huge four poster mahogany bed that sat opposite a roaring fireplace. Unconsciously, she made her way towards it, her hand reaching out to touch the smooth mahogany of the end post. The hangings were in a heavy gold material, with a lighter gold gauze underneath them and as Lily took in the half made, crumbled cobalt sheets, she was suddenly overcome with the deliciously masculine smell of James.

She'd smelt it before, of course, he smelt incredible; woody and musky, with a hint of cologne. Occasionally on patrol she'd be overcome with it, or in class. The strongest it had ever hit her was behind the pillar in the Astronomy tower, even when she had worn his jacket earlier it had been intense, but nothing, nothing as overpowering as what she smelt now.

It was intoxicating, making her head spin and robbing her of breath. Suddenly she was imagining all the possibilities that the luxurious bed before her offered. As vividly as if it was happening, Lily imagined James taking her hand and pulling her down to the bed, kissing her, running his hands over her body, slowly undressing her and marvelling at her body, taking her in his arms and passionately making love to her, with the sheer gauze hangings gently undulating in the breeze offered by the open window, warmth and light offered by the light of the fire…

"…should probably be okay."

Lily's head snapped back to reality, James was standing before her, snow clothes in his arms. She abruptly remembered where she was and what she was doing there, her fantasy of James had, momentarily at least, kept her from remembering anything except how badly she _wanted _him.

James's hazel eyes suddenly met hers and she wondered what he saw in them to make his change so abruptly. From fun-filled and joking, to deeply passionate, lusty depths that seemed to go on forever, robbing her of any ability to breathe that she had regained.

They stared at each other, neither breathing well for a moment. Eyes fixed on each other, green meets hazel, both burning with unveiled longing.

"I like your bed," Lily managed to gasp out.

James nodded, indicating that he too, thought the bed nice.

"It gets lonely though," he murmured, taking a step closer.

And just as suddenly as it had come, the moment disappeared, as Sirius bounced into the room, flopping himself down on the very bed they had just been discussing.

"I got bored waiting," he announced taking in their appearances with a pout. "You aren't even dressed yet."

"I just found this for Lily," James told them both, holding out a black ski jacket with blue lining. "It was mine when I was in about third year, so it should fit her."

As if nothing had happened, Lily stuck her tongue out at him, and shrugged the jacket on, zipping it up securely. It fit her almost perfectly.

"I shrunk these for you as well," he told her, passing a handsome pair of dragon hide gloves over. She pulled them on and found that they too, fit well. "And a hat,"

He produced the green woollen beanie from underneath his arm and, rather than handing it to her, stepped forward to settle it gently over her hair.

"You're set," he told her, their eyes fixed on each others again.

"Thanks," she whispered, unable to pull her gaze away from his.

There was silence for a few moments, Sirius looking between them, realisation finally dawning in his eyes.

"I guess we should go and have this snowball fight," Lily finally said, heading for the door.

James and Sirius followed behind her.

"Sorry mate," Sirius apologised under his breath. "I had pretty bad timing hey?"

"No kidding," James groaned.

Sirius had the decency to look abashed.

"Its alright, it would have turned into nothing anyway," James told him, as they followed Lily down the staircase.

"Hey, at least you've realised something," Sirius waggled his eyebrows and James couldn't help but grin at him.

"What's that?"

"Evans has a thing for impressive beds. Maybe you should be using the Heads dorm after all."

James laughed loudly and shoved his friend down the remaining steps.

Their breath came out in little puffs of steam as they made their way around the house to the Quidditch pitch where James and Sirius held their annual snowball fights.

"So this tradition," Lily asked, as they walked. "How did it start?"

Both James and Sirius laughed.

"The first time Padfoot spent the holidays here was Christmas in second year," James replied. "Mum got so sick of us running through the corridors on Christmas Eve that she kicked us out of the house. We had to do something to entertain ourselves."

"And it's strictly no magic Evans," Sirius told her.

"It's Miss Evans to you Sirius," Lily told him with a grin. "And I can take you both.

Wands or not."

James and Sirius exchanged a glance, eyebrows raised.

"Padfoot, I think we've been challenged," James commented.

"I think we have Prongs," Sirius turned to Lily. "You're going to regret saying that."

Lily's eyes widened when, as one, both James and Sirius reached down, forming perfect snowballs out of the half meter covering on the ground. She backed away slowly as they approached before turning and running, both of the boys quickly after her in pursuit. 

Several hours later as night began to fall the trio began to make their way back inside. All were pink faced, soaking wet and smiling broadly as they made their way back inside the Potter house.

"What time are you expected home?" James asked as they sloshed through the snow together, Sirius lagging behind them.

Lily shrugged, not wanting to let the memory of her morning ruin what had been the best afternoon she could remember having in a long while.

"I told Dad I'd be home after dinner at some stage."

"So you'll stay then?" He asked, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

"Will your parents mind?" Lily questioned.

"They'll insist on it. And besides, Berry will expect you to stay," his eyes twinkled at her and they both laughed.

James froze suddenly and in the next instant had grabbed her around the waist, lifting her bodily from the ground as if she weighed less than a pixie and flung her around, the snow ball that Sirius had levitated over her head falling flat to the ground. Lily growled breathlessly as James set her on her feet and she immediately reached to the ground, flicking handful after handful of snow at Sirius until he cried –

"Okay! Alright! I give up, I surrender! Call the woman off Prongs!"

James, shaking with laughter, reached for Lily, pulling her upright and draping an arm around her shoulder.

"You shouldn't start things you can't finish," Lily panted at Sirius, James almost bent over with laughter.

"You've been spending too much time with us I think Evans," Sirius grumbled, climbing to his feet and throwing his arm around her other shoulder so she was sandwiched between the two friends. "But I'm beginning to like it."

"You're growing on me too Sirius," she told him, threading an arm around each of the boy's waists as they walked, and squeezing Sirius gently, "Though it feels like you're getting fat."

James was laughing again now, Lily could feel him shaking around her arm and without meaning to, she surreptitiously moved closer to him, snuggling into his warm side.

Dinner with the Potter's was surprisingly relaxed, despite the imposingly large table they ate at and the heavy ancient goblin-wrought gold crockery. Mr and Mrs Potter asked questions about Lily's plan for the future, and seemed impressed when she professed her desire to become a Healer. Lily wasn't surprised by Sirius's laughing admittance that he had no plans for after school. She was however, surprised by James –

"An Auror? Really? Isn't that very dangerous and….well scary."

James had laughed at her concerns.

"I don't see the harm in being trained in defending myself against the Dark Arts," he had told her from across the table. "Besides, somebody's got to do it, and look at my folks," he gestured towards his parents at the other end of the table. "They're getting a bit old for it."

His parents laughed in response to his words, but Lily's brow furrowed. She could not imagine the kind and welcoming Mrs Potter engaged in a duel with a Death Eater, or the stately and cheerful Mr Potter undercover. And why was it that something very much like fear gripped her chest with an icy fist as she tried to stop herself imagining James in the dark blue robes of the Auror office.

Though they all pretended not to, every body around the table noticed Lily's distraction after James's announcement. Harold and Doreas Potter exchanged knowing glances. That afternoon while the young ones had been outside engaged in their snowball fight, they had spoken of the very obvious attachment their son had formed to the pretty Muggle born girl that was visiting them. What they had questioned, however, was her level of affection for him. As they looked at her now, pushing her food around on her plate, her brow creased, a pucker in between her eyes, her feelings for their son seemed obvious to them.

Sirius noted Lily's disheartenment with surprise. Though he had never voiced them, he'd had his reservations about James's plan to woo Lily; plan number eight hundred and sixty two to be exact. He had preferred their early plans, which had involved Hogsmeade dates, Invisibility Cloaks, cursing Slytherin's and skipping classes. James growing up was an alternative concept to Sirius, though he'd known it was coming, if his mate was to be accepted into Auror training. Strangely, it never made him question whether he too, ought to consider the future, he was more concerned with filling the mischief quota that James was neglecting…

James, sitting across the table from Lily, observing her sudden change in behaviour, was confused. He hated anything that made her look so worried and he was almost sure he was the cause of her anxiety. After dedicating his entire day to her enjoyment, because he couldn't stand to see her as miserable as she had appeared in the pub late that morning, he had wrecked everything by telling her his ambitions as an Auror. Could she not deal with that? Was she surprised he would choose something so difficult to pursue, or was she simply worried about him? Did she care? Did she want him to do something different? For as much as he'd been committed to becoming an Auror for the past year, he'd been committed to her for longer, and he'd give it up for her…

Dinner ended in an unusual silence.

Lily was unwilling to leave, unwilling to go home and face reality when she'd had such a marvellous day with James, Sirius and James's parents, but eventually, she couldn't put it off any longer.

"Thank you so much for everything," she said to Mr and Mrs Potter as she prepared to Apparate home. "I've had a wonderful day."

"We're so glad dear," Mrs Potter said, stepping forward and embracing her gently.

"Please come back any time."

"It was lovely to meet you Lily," Mr Potter told her, shaking her hand gently in both of his. "I hope to see you again very soon."

"Likewise," Lily smiled. "Have a Merry Christmas."

She turned to Sirius next.

"Thanks for the snowball fight Sirius," she grinned at him as he wrapped his arms around her enthusiastically, lifting her off her feet in his embrace. "See you next week."

"Come back again, everything's more fun with you around," he ruffled her hair.

"Merry Christmas."

James was facing her next, a small, warm smile on his face.

"Thanks for everything James," she said softly, going to tug his woollen jumper that she still wore, off.

"Keep it, it's cold outside," James protested. "You'll have to Apparate from the path, because of our wards, sorry."

"Not a problem," she looked towards the door and back again. "I guess I'll be off then."

She moved forward and gave him a quick hug, shivering against the delicious warmth he was emanating and the smell that had so intoxicated her earlier in the day. He returned her hug and she was gone.

James stared at the closed door in front of him for all of three seconds until Sirius nudged him forward –

"Go on, you've held yourself back all year."

It was all the encouragement he needed.

Lily had almost reached the path when she heard the door she had just closed open again.

"Lil's, wait up!"

She turned in shock, had James Potter just called her by the nickname that was usually reserved for her family and closest friends. And how did it sound so much better coming from his lips than anybody else's?

James was running towards her, in the cold night, stopping when he drew closer to her. She didn't speak, waiting for him, wondering what on Earth he could have forgotten to already say in their day together, her heart thudded uncomfortably in her chest.

"Lily," he said again, a small smile on his face. "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me on the next weekend?"

She couldn't help but smile. After four years of asking he had given up, and here, on his parent's property, only a few hours before Christmas, after months of not asking, and on a day she had enjoyed more than any other she could remember, he had asked again. She didn't even have to think about her response.

"Yes James, I will."

His broad grin was infectious in the dark, she grinned back.

"Great, fantastic, brilliant," he swept her into a hug, spinning her round in a circle before setting her on her feet again, her body still pressed into his, his arms still around her. "It's really cold, you should probably go."

She couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, she could barely hear him over the whooshing in her ears and her frantic heartbeat. She nodded.

He bent down, always maintaining eye contact, and brushed the corner of her mouth, her cheek really, with a feather light caress from his own lips. 

"Merry Christmas Lils."

"Merry Christmas James," she stumbled as he released her and before she could do anything really dangerous, like throwing herself back in his arms and begging to stay the night with him in his delightful bed, she Apparated home.

Despite the cold and the fact he had no jacket on to protect himself from it, James Potter whistled all the way back up the stairs to his parent's house.

**((XX))**

_The consensus from the last chapter seemed to be – boys are stupid! I'm glad I could unite you all in that way!_

_Sorry for the delay, but as you can see, this has been a huge chapter, and I'd like to thank my amazing beta team for getting it to me so quickly._

_I've had a trying week, which hasn't helped with the posting schedule, between ballet competitions and my beloved football team making it to the grandfinal their hasn't been a lot of time for writing, but I hope you all enjoyed it regardless._

_Thankyou for your reviews, they were amazing to read, as usual a preview of Chapter Ten to all those that review._

_Have a safe and happy week!_

_SC._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: ****All Harry Potter characters are the property of J. K. Rowling, I can only dream of having her imagination. Fait Accompli belongs to SarCoops (2010), and cannot be reproduced without her express written permission. **

Ten – Wisdom

"_**All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions"**_

**Leonardo da Vinci**

The day before Lily was to go back to school, Elizabeth Evans was able to leave her hospital bed for the first time in weeks. With the help of her husband and two nurses she made her way to the couch in the sitting room at the end of her hospital ward, a welcoming place that felt more like a part of the family home than a room in a hospital.

That was exactly the way Elizabeth had intended it.

She did not want her last conversation with her precious youngest daughter to be in her hospital bed. For a few hours, the last few hours with her baby daughter, she wanted to be able to forget about the heart condition that had so crippled her for the past years, and more importantly, she wanted Lily to be able to forget it also.

Lily was perfectly content to lie curled up in the couch with her head in her mothers lap, enjoying the feeling of her frail hands combing through her hair. They were not forcing conversation, satisfied to enjoy each others presence, in the little time they had left.

Eventually her mother spoke.

"Your father told me you went and visited a friend the other day," she spoke in her frail voice, pausing for a second. "A boy, he said."

Lily smiled a little. Her father had given her surprisingly little trouble when she had returned home late on Christmas Eve and admitted that she had not spent the day at Katie's, but with James, Sirius and his family. She had expected to be bombarded with questions, but none had been forthcoming, except an inquiry as to whether she'd had fun. It appeared her mother was about to make up for her fathers silence.

"That's right. James," she replied. "He's the Head Boy."

"Is this the same James that used to torment you?" Her mother queried, sounding a little amused. 

"One in the same," Lily was smiling now. "He's grown up a lot this year. We're friends now."

"Tell me about him," Elizabeth requested, leaning her head against the back of the couch and closing her eyes, preparing for the story.

"I…I don't know what there is to tell," Lily said, a little flustered by her mothers question. "He's in Gryffindor with me, and captain of the Quidditch team. We have all the same classes together…"

"And he's Head Boy," Lily's mother put in. "You two must spend a lot of time together."

"Mmm," Lily replied noncommittally, casting her mind around for something else, something safe, to tell her mother. "He's been helping me with Transfigurations, because it's my weakest subject and his best, and I've been helping him with Potions."

"This is the same James Potter you professed to hate when you were fourteen?" Her mother questioned in a teasing voice.

"Same in body, not so much in spirit," Lily mused. "He's matured a lot, he promised me at the start of term he would take being Head Boy seriously and he has; he's been brilliant at it actually. Somewhere in between having classes and duties together I think we became friends."

"And do you like that? Being friends with him?" Elizabeth queried.

"He's been a good friend to me this term," Lily said softly, thinking of everything James had done for her. He had been diligent in his Head duties and had sat with her in classes when she would otherwise have been by herself. He had snuck her down to the kitchens to make sure she ate and kept her realistic about her study habits and when it was time to take a break. He had defended her against Severus, and been almost obsessed with making sure she was protected against the attacks on Muggle borns. He had distracted her when she'd most needed it in Hogsmeade and helped her with her Transfiguration work when it had most started to get to her. And finally, he had seen her at her worst, downing Firewhiskey in a dirty pub, and still wanted her, still taken her home to meet his family and given her a day when she had nothing to worry about. He seemed to have a natural talent for knowing exactly what she needed when she was the most vulnerable, for making her forget what was bothering her, for making her smile.

James certainly had been a good friend to her, but what had she done for him in return? Despite their history, and the occasional pranks he hadn't been able to stop himself from pulling, he had turned into somebody she wanted to spend time with. She had learnt to shake her head at the pranks and groan at the jokes, and though she would never admit it, some of them were actually…funny. But what had she done to show him that she had changed her mind about him? That he had convinced her that he wasn't as horrible as she had once thought? Unbidden into Lily's mind flashed the memory of the smile he had given her when she had agreed to spend the day at his house, or better, when she had agreed, finally, to go to Hogsmeade with him. The expression of pure, heartfelt delight at her acceptance seemed, to Lily at least, to be proof of how often she has repaid his kindnesses. It was all good and well, she thought, for her to appreciate how lovely he'd been to her, but she'd really never _shown_ him.

"You're very quiet," her mother commented, stroking her hair again. Her already frail sounding voice softened. "James isn't just your friend is he angel?"

"I…I don't think so," Lily spoke, trying to figure out her thoughts. "He's been so good to me this year mum and I thought he was just my friend, you know? But, he was angry at me the other day, he wouldn't even speak to me and, it _hurt._ And it was a different from when Katie and I had that fight in third year, or even when Severus and I fell out. He's been asking me out for so long, that I never really considered it. I mean, he's gorgeous of course, but, I never thought he meant it, I always assumed it was a joke. But I don't think it is anymore, and I don't know what to do about it."

"You could try saying yes to him?" Her mother suggested gently.

"I already have," Lily admitted and suddenly they were both laughing.

As their laughter subsided, Elizabeth laid her head against the pillow that had been propped behind it, closing her eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"Sorry mum," Lily said, going to jump to her feet.

"Stay darling, I'm not done talking to you about your James."

"He's not my James mum," Lily protested, holding her mother's cold hands in her own and trying to warm them.

"Not yet," Elizabeth smiled knowingly. "But he will be."

Despite it being her mother she was talking to, Lily couldn't help but blush.

"Do you think so?" She whispered, wrapping her arms around her mother's tiny frame.

"I really do," Her mother told her. "Give him a chance darling, let him see how you feel, show him how strongly you love."

Lily nodded, burrowing her head into her mother's neck, breathing in her familiar scent, unwilling to leave, though knowing Elizabeth needed her rest.

"Would you do something for me darling?" Elizabeth asked, resting her cheek on her daughter's head.

"Anything," Lily whispered, determined not to let the tears in her eyes overflow.

"Don't you dare name a child after me. Give them one of those magnificent wizard names, something powerful."

Lily lost her battle with her tears, and, crushing her mother briefly against her chest she fumbled to her feet.

"I'll go and get dad, we can get you back to bed."

While Lily was hidden in the bathroom, drying her tears and preparing to put on her brave face for the next few hours, her father held his wife's hands as she shifted in her hospital bed.

"What did you find out from Lily about Christmas Eve?" He asked, rubbing circles in her hand in the same way he had been doing for twenty five years.

"You were right, it's the same James she used to hate, or so she said," Elizabeth told her husband, feeling that all in the world was right as long as they're hands were held together. "She's questioning what she thought she knew about him. It sounds as if he's been a very good friend to her this year."

"Well I'm glad for that," George replied, looking thoughtful. "She's different I think Liz, I just can't put my finger on how."

Elizabeth looked at her husband with a small smile.

"She's in love George. Our baby's in love."

**((XX))**

"I've never seen you this eager to get back to school James," His mother's laughing voice told him.

James paused in the midst of his packing. He had laid everything out on the floor of the upstairs sitting room and was packing his trunk, looking up at the clock every so often, as if willing the next day to arrive more quickly.

"He's got a girl now Doreas," his father chuckled from behind his copy of _The Evening Prophet. _"His poor old mum and dad get left behind now."

"I do not have a girl," James muttered under his breath at the same time as Sirius loudly proclaimed.

"James has had lots of girls, it's never made him this eager to go back to school before," he neatly ducked the trainer that James levitated at him. "But it's different now, because it's Evans, _finally._"

"I don't have a girl," James said again, a little louder this time.

"He's wanted Lily forever," Sirius told Harold and Doreas. "Practically, since our first trip to Hogwarts."

"She really is a lovely girl James," his mother told him enthusiastically.

James nodded; his mother had felt compelled to tell him that at least a dozen times that past week.

"James has lots of other adjectives for his Lily, Mrs Potter," Sirius continued. "Lovely just won't cut it. Perfect, stunning, fiery, strong-willed, passionate, insane," he listed and James couldn't help the blush that rose into his cheeks, because he had, indeed, called Lily all of those things in Sirius's hearing, dozens of times.

"Sirius, shut it," he groaned, throwing things haphazardly in his trunk. "You of all people know she's _not my Lily." _

"Yes you do spend rather a lot of time whining about it," Sirius agreed cheerfully.

"Come on Prongs, you saw her the other night, she didn't want to leave, and she agreed to Hogsmeade with you."

"What's this?" Doreas perked up, hearing Sirius's words. "Do you and Lily have a date?"

James managed a glare in Sirius's direction before turning back to his mother.

"It's just a Hogsmeade weekend, that's all," he tried to downplay the significance of it to him, while inside he was still floating in a euphoric sea of disbelief, _she had said yes. _

Sirius rolled his eyes at him, knowing his friend far too well to be fooled by his outwardly casual demeanour. 

"Have you arranged a chaperone?" His mother asked and James stared at her in confusion. His mother looked back at him, smiling benignly. "You didn't intend to take her alone did you; of course somebody needs to accompany you."

James reached over and shoved a pair of socks in Sirius's mouth before he could volunteer. He wasn't sure how to tell his mother that things had changed somewhat in the seventy years since she had been on a date. The idea of a Hogsmeade trip with Lily had always held such appeal to him as a way to get them alone, away from all the distractions and influences of life at Hogwarts, to spend time together, to talk about things they couldn't easily discuss within the confines of the castle. The idea of somebody tailing them throughout their date, especially if that somebody was Sirius, was truly horrifying to James.

He decided to act quickly before his mother could decide to write a letter to Professor McGonagall asking her to accompany them, or something equally as horrendous.

"We won't be alone, everybody goes to Hogsmeade."

His mother looked at him doubtfully.

"I think times may have changed since I took you on our first date Doreas," Harold chuckled. "Do you remember it as clearly as I do?"

The look they shared convinced James that, yes, his mother did remember it, and he was sure he never wanted to hear the details of that day.

"Has he really been interested in Lily for that long Sirius?" Doreas asked, in reference to Sirius's exclamation of _finally,_ earlier.

Sirius rolled his eyes again.

"Quite ma'am," he answered politely. "I'm sure he's asked her to every Hogsmeade weekend we've ever been on."

"And she's turned you down every time?" His mother asked, looking as if she was now questioning her original assessment of Lily's character. His mother touched his hair in a protective gesture, making Sirius laugh and James grin, a little sheepishly.

"Lily…erh…may have made some, rather accurate, judgements on our characters, causing her to….not be very fond of us for most of the time we've known each other," Sirius explained and James groaned internally at the look on his mother's face.

"What in the name of Merlin did you boys do to the poor girl?" She asked, not looking if she was so sure she really wanted to know.

James shifted uneasily from his seat on the floor.

"It's all in the past now, and things have changed…" He began to say before Sirius cut over him.

"We made fun of her friends, broke her book bag, turned her blue, stole her potions kit and replaced all the ingredients so none of her potions would work, charmed her pillow to turn to lead, slipped her a giggling draught, convinced a professor she was a squib and cursed a blackboard duster to follow her around all day, so she left chalk everywhere she went," Sirius said thoughtfully, turning to James. "I think that was everything from first year wasn't it mate?"

Cheeks flaming, feeling very ashamed of himself, James replied.

"You forgot the growth charm on her shoes."

"Oh yeah," Sirius chuckled.

"James Potter! Sirius Black! How could you torment the poor girl so?" James's mother demanded, looking severely at both of them.

"Little Miss Evans wasn't entirely innocent in it all," Sirius reminisced happily. "Oh she used to give us the most righteous lectures."

"She still does occasionally," James murmured; glancing at his father's amused smirk from behind his newspaper.

"I can't believe you were so unkind James," Mrs Potter lamented. "And I thought the poor girl seemed so attracted to you and interested on Christmas Eve."

"Mum, it's been a long time since all of that," James tried to explain, his mother was already shaking her head, his father still smirking and Sirius had willingly stuffed James's socks back in his mouth to keep himself from laughing aloud, it was just enough, to cause James's already over frazzled, over anxious nervous, to break, as the words poured forth from him in a torrent. "Please, stop doubting me. I know, I was a total shit, Lily didn't deserve the way we treated her, but she gave it back as good as she got, it was the way we worked. I've liked her since I was old enough to know what girl's were, and it was the way I let her know I existed. But I'm smarter now, I'm trying to grow up, I'm trying to become an Auror and I'm trying to get Lily. I think I'm doing pretty bloody well for myself, I'm getting good grades, and I haven't stuffed up being Head Boy to badly, I'm still playing Quidditch and winning, and Lily's gone from not being able to be in the same room as me, to agreeing to a date. She's beginning to trust me, we've moved past all that and I really don't like to think about it. I'd much rather think about the future, I mean, school's almost over and I have a date with Lily Evans!" He drew a deep breath as his rant came to an end, his parents and Sirius all staring at him.

"Nobody's doubting you James," Harold told her laying his paper aside. "You can name your first son after me."

James shook his head, unable to keep a small smile of his face as he slammed the lid of his trunk down with a satisfied sigh

"I'm going upstairs and packing your trunk," he told Sirius, turning and leaving the room. "And if you don't come and help me I'm leaving your PlayWizard's behind."

Sirius scampered to his feet, sprinting out the room after his best friend.

"Well," Doreas Potter said, looking at her husband. "He hasn't had a reaction like that to anything since we confiscated his broomstick when he was four."

"My dear," Harold Potter laughed, taking his wife's hand in his own. "He's in love."

((XX))

_Hi everyone and welcome to Friday (night)._

_It's been a hectic week at every end of the world, so as always, I'd like to expressly thank my wonderful beta team Casey and Kait for their time, you girls are amazing. _

_No Lily and James action in this chapter I know, but all those that review will get a sneak peak of Chapter Eleven, and their second last trip on the Hogwart's Express._

_An extra little preview to those who pray (to whatever deity you prefer) for St Kilda to win the AFL grandfinal tomorrow, I'll be there and we'll need all the help we can get. So let me know you've prayed and I'll extend your preview._

_Have a great week everyone, and go saints!_

_SC. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:**** Harry Potter belongs to the ever wonderful Ms. Rowling. Fait Accompli belongs to SarCoops (2010) and cannot be reproduced without my permission. **

Eleven – The Last First Night

"_**Lust is touching bodies, love is touching souls."**_

**Kahlil Gibran**

Lily was one of the first on the train that morning, not lingering on the platform to speak to anyone as she normally would have. She made her way straight for an empty compartment, something there was no shortage of, lest anybody question the red rimmed eyes or crumbled appearance from their Head Girl who was usually so cheerful and well presented.

The moment the compartment door was shut behind her, Lily curled up in the middle of the bench seat, knowing her clothes couldn't get anymore creased than they already were and consented to allow a few more tears to slip out of her eyes, before she could put on the brave face she knew she would have to maintain, once her friends arrived.

She had spent the night before with her mother, getting a few precious hours of sleep in the recliner chair beside her bed. Leaving that morning had been torturous, as she tried to find the words to let Elizabeth know how desperately she had not wanted to leave and how much she loved her. Leaving had been near impossible, but she'd managed, somehow, before having to tear herself from her father's arms in front of the barrier to the platform.

"Your mother and I love you very much Lily," her father had told her, as she'd cried in his arms. "Please remember that, no matter what, no matter where we are, we love you and we are very proud of you."

And then, because it was kinder than prolonging their departure any longer, George had barely given his youngest daughter a chance but to whisper '_I love you too Daddy, always'_ before he had pushed her through the barrier, separating them by the same barrier that separated each of their worlds.

Lily dried her eyes, determined not to be caught out crying. The platform was getting busier now, as the time of departure grew nearer. She rubbed at her eyes, squinting through the thick, white steam that was pouring from the Hogwarts Express, as she tried to catch a glimpse of the people milling on the platform, to see if anybody she recognised had seen her yet.

Standing on the platform, Doreas, Harold and James Potter, along with Sirius Black all looked into the carriage where the lone woman, with long red hair, dressed in clothes that looked as if they'd been slept in, sat crying.

"Go Prongs," Sirius told him, nudging him forward. "It's probably her mum, here, take my bag and I'll wait out here for Moony, Wormtail and Alice."

"Her mother?" Doreas echoed, "Is something the matter?"

"Go, I'll explain," Sirius pushed his friend forward. James stooped to kiss his mother and gave his father a brief hug. He took Sirius's backpack and slung it over his shoulder next to his own and climbed aboard the train.

Lily looked around when she heard the compartment door being slid open and mustered a smile when she saw James. In some small part of her brain she wondered if she would ever get used to how handsome he was, as he stood, looking at her in concern, his hair windswept, his glasses crooked, her heart almost stopped beating. And there she was, in the clothes she'd slept in, having tidied herself up in the small bathroom at the hospital, looking an absolute wreck.

"Hi," he said softly, his eyes never leaving her as he stowed both the backpacks he carried in the overhead locker.

"Hey," she replied, her voice croaky, her lip trembling traitorously.

He sat down, wedging himself between her and the window.

"Want to tell me about it?" He asked and Lily was once again struck by just how kind he was to her and how she'd so rarely done anything in return. The thought caused two tears to slip from her eyes and down her cheeks. His arms were around her shoulders in an instant, pulling her against his body and stroking her hair gently.

"I just….had to….say goodbye, to my mum," Lily choked, refusing to let anymore tears out. "I don't think I'll see her again."

James nodded, tightening his grip on her as she concentrated on breathing and clearing her eyes of the tears that were clouding her vision.

"I'm sorry," James said eventually, when she was sure she had her tears under control. "You shouldn't have to go through that."

"No, but I'll get through it," she whispered.

"I know," when she looked up at him he was smiling a little. "You're strong," he put his fingers under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "But if you need, I think I can be strong enough for both of us occasionally."

"Thank you," she told him fervently, resisting the urge to run her hands through his unkempt hair and instead ducking her head back down to his shoulder.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes until he squeezed her gently.

"Is this alright?" He asked, indicating to the arm that he still had wrapped around her waist.

She nodded, if anything moving closer to him.

"You're warm," she said, by way of explanation and James tipped his head back and laughed.

"I should have known you were only using me for my warmth."

He was still laughing when the door slid open and Sirius, Remus, Peter and Alice filled in.

Loud greetings were exchanged and Lily was glad to be back with her friends, even Alice who was sitting opposite her and grinning maniacally, with very pointed glances at the arm that remained draped around Lily for the remainder of the trip.

The Marauder's seemed to be putting in a concerted effort to ensure that Lily enjoyed her trip home, and, despite the ache in her heart that was a constant reminder of what she had just done, she found herself laughing, at least in response to the more outlandish jokes that they told. She was fascinated by Peter's stories of his holiday to Spain, somewhere she had always wanted to go but never been, and her questions were so earnest and probing that the round boy blushed as he stammered out his responses, to the amusement of his closest friends.

James, in a fit of hunger and good nature, purchased four of everything from the trolley to share amongst his friends, resulting in Sirius laying prostrate with a stomach ache for the remainder of her trip. Most delightfully to Lily, she was not at all ignorant to the looks James cast her, every time a joke was made, to ensure that she was laughing too, though, of course she pretended to be none the wiser as she settled into his side, a place she had found to be incredibly warm and comfortable. Wrapt as she was in the comfortable world the Gryffindor seventh years had created for themselves inside their compartment. She was oblivious however, to the looks of wide-eyed surprise on the faces of all those that past, and caught sight of the Head Boy and Girl's close proximity and familiarity with each other, on the long trip to Scotland.

Much later that night, Lily lay in Alice's bed with her, as she told her closest girl friend about her holidays, Petunia's engagement, her trip to James's, the date they had arranged and saying goodbye to her mother that morning. They were three quarters of the way through a block of chocolate before Lily finished.

"I think we're going to need more of this," Alice said with a laugh as Lily broke a large piece of chocolate off and began to nibble at it. In response, Lily flung herself out of bed and padded to her trunk, withdrawing another block from it and climbing back into Alice's bed.

"I bought lots of it this year, I have a feeling, with exams we'll need it."

Alice laughed appreciatively and began to open it.

"Come on, tell me about your holidays," Lily encouraged, through a mouthful of chocolate. "Did you see much of Frank?"

"Only every day," Alice giggled. "It was so good to see him again. I mean, he had to work a lot, but still…"

Lily couldn't help but giggle as Alice fidgeted around.

"What aren't you telling me Ally?" She asked, poking her best friend in the side.

"Well, one night, I was at Frank's, and his parents went out for dinner…" She flung herself up into a sitting position and grabbed Lily's hands. "And Lily, we slept together!"

Lily launched upwards as well and couldn't help but pull her friend into a hug.

"Lily it was amazing," she exclaimed, pushing her hair out of her face and beaming at her friend through the darkness. "I mean, it wasn't planned or anything, but I think it was better like that. We just kind of…couldn't stop. Oh and Frank was so sweet, he hated that it hurt me and he felt so bad and he was so nice. And I swear his blasted mother knew when she got home, but she didn't say anything, at least when I was there."

"Did it really hurt that much?" Lily asked; her eyes wide.

"Not so bad, just at first," Alice replied. "And a couple of days later we…again….and oh my gosh Lily, it was incredible."

"That's fantastic Alice."

"Did you and Caradoc ever…" Alice trailed off, referring to Lily's ex-boyfriend from last year.

"Merlin, no!" Lily exclaimed laughing. "We hardly did anything, I mean; we kissed, but not much more than that."

Alice looked at her slyly through the darkness.

"You and James looked rather cosy on the train this morning. Have you ever thought about….with him..?"

Lily blushed and despite the shadows, she was sure Alice could see the rush of blood to her cheeks.

"I think every girl in the school's thought about going to bed with James," she replied with an uneasy laugh.

"I haven't," Alice told her, waggling her eyebrows. "But you have, haven't you?"

Lily squirmed uncomfortably before convincing herself that it really was just Alice and that it was highly unlikely that the Marauder's had planted any listening devices in the room.

"Oh alright I have," she exclaimed. "And we very nearly did fall into bed together on Christmas Eve."

Alice let out a very uncharacteristic squeal and launched herself onto Lily.

"What? I thought you said Sirius and his parents were there? What happened? Why did you stop?"

"I'm exaggerating, nothing really happened. We had a moment in his room…"

"You were in his room!" Alice exclaimed. "What's it like?"

"It's lovely, it really is. His entire house was magnificent," Lily replied, thinking privately that her words didn't do the house justice. She paused before asking her next question. "What's it like Alice?"

"What sex?" Alice asked. "Do you want all the details?"

"No!" Lily laughed. "I just meant, how did you know, that it was right? That you weren't going to regret it?"

"I just knew," Alice said simply, swatting Lily's arm as she rolled her eyes. "It's…it's not all just physical, you know; it was…about showing Frank how much I love him. I can't imagine it being so…intense with somebody you don't love."

"And you don't regret it?"

"Never."

The girls were silent for several minutes, Lily cramming more chocolate into her mouth.

"What's on your mind Lils?" Alice asked.

"How did you know that Frank was right for you? That you loved him?"

"I never knew for certain, I still don't," Alice spoke slowly. "I guess it just felt right. I was always happier whenever we were together; I can't help but smile when he's around, even when he's infuriating me." She laughed a little.

Lily nodded, she understood. There was somebody who made her feel that way too.

"Oh Merlin," Alice exclaimed, her eyes widening as she realised. "You're in love with James."

"I don't know if I am!" Lily exclaimed in a hurry. "But….I think I might be…falling for him. I was talking to my mum, and, I realised how good he's been to me. I'm going to…try. Try to be as kind to him as he's been to me this year, I'm not going to hide my feelings anymore or be so reclusive. How did my mum put it? I'm going to….show him how strongly I can love."

"Merlin." Alice repeated. "I'm so happy for you Lils, James is going to be ecstatic. It's going to be interesting…"

"I know." Lily admitted and the girls were laughing again, their second block of chocolate almost gone again already.

The bottle of Firewhiskey made its way around the dormitory once again, being thrown from bed to bed, long drags being slurped out of it before it was propelled threw the air once again, to the next set of lips waited eagerly to claim it. The downing of a bottle of liquor was a long held first day-back tradition of the Marauder's, and, being their last ever, first day back, they were fulfilling their tradition with a little more gusto than usual.

"So you and Evans looked rather cosy on the train today Prongs," Sirius called to his best mate from across the room as the bottle reached him again.

"Don't be a wanker Padfoot," James replied. "You know she was upset, I was…being comforting."

"Uhuh, you were…ah…still comforting her three hours later when she was laughing at the story about Moony's Christmas were you? Because she seemed happy enough then," Sirius jibbed.

"Well you never know when she could have had a sudden relapse of sadness, do you Prongs?" Pete snorted with a laugh.

"Exactly Wormy," James agreed with a nod and then a sigh. "I just don't know if I'm getting anywhere with her."

"Certainly looked it today," Remus commented with a grin.

"Yeah, but did she just need somebody to comfort her or was she glad it was me?" James exclaimed with an exasperated sigh.

"She didn't look like she needed any comforting on Christmas Eve when she was making sexy eyes at you and your bed," Sirius snorted. "She _wanted_ you Prongs."

"So of course you interrupted," Remus groaned, throwing a pillow at Sirius.

The voices of his friends faded to background music, as James thought about Sirius's words. Had Lily wanted him? It had certainly appeared so. James had seen the signs in women before, the heavy lidded eyes, swimming with barely concealed want. It was enough to get any man's pulse racing and it had worked on James before, but nothing compared to how it had affected James, seeing Lily Evans, the object of his wet dreams and cold showers since he was fourteen, looking at him like that. How long had he fantasised about being with her? What would he do, what could he do, how could he do it, if those dreams were one day to become a reality?

"Guys," he said suddenly, interrupting their conversation about Padfoot's lack of tact. "Have any of you ever been with a virgin?"

They all paused, staring at him with gaping mouths in response to his question.

Sirius was the first to recover.

"You know me; I've got a strict no first timer's policy."

"Yeah, but remember why you've got that policy Padfoot?" Pete questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," Sirius shuddered largely, "One too many bad experiences."

James nodded; he knew the stories that had let to Sirius's rules about virgins.

"You never have been?" Peter asked James.

James shrugged, running through a list of women in his head that he had slept with. It was a lot shorter than the school gossips would lead people to believe and over half on the list had been on a mission to bed each of the Marauder's in turn, not that any of the men themselves had had any idea about that operation. He had most certainly not been the first of those women.

"Not that I know of, I don't think so," he told Peter.

"Believe me mate, you'd know if you had," Sirius quaked again.

"Do you think women can tell if it's a guy's first time?" Peter questioned thoughtfully.

"I hope not!" Remus exclaimed.

James recalled the night he had lost his virginity with humiliating clarity and found that he had to agree with Remus. It had been the end of his fifth year, he had just turned sixteen and the final Quidditch training session of the year had just ended. The rest of the team had left, with the exception of James, and the departing seventh year Gryffindor Keeper, Cathleen Barnhart. They had been engaging in a rather heavy petting session on the edge of the Forbidden Forrest when, all of a sudden and much to James's surprise, Cathleen had shifted her knickers to the side, grabbed a hold of him and guided him in. Completely surprised and overwhelmed by the incredible feeling of being engulfed in the warmth that suddenly surrounded him, James had completely lost his mind. Instincts took over as he thrust wildly and haphazardly, doing anything he could to alleviate the burning pressure that had built swiftly and torturously inside of him. It hadn't taken long; within a minute he had spilt over and was pulling out; to surprised and utterly blissful to even contemplate asking the poor girl lying underneath him if he could return the favour in any way.

Cathleen had graduated only two weeks later, but not before she and James had found the time to come together again, another three times, lest James be given the unfair title of a Two-Pump Chump.

"What about you Padfoot?" Peter asked eagerly.

"I wouldn't know." Sirius shrugged casually. "I was born without virginity."

James laughed and swung the bottle up to his lips again; trying to suppress the memories he had just dredged up.

"Why do you ask anyway Prongs?" Remus asked as he accepted the bottle his friend past him.

James ran his hand through his hair, unsure how to answer Moony's question, especially when he wasn't sure himself why he had asked. He had only one thing on his mind; Lily.

"I guess, I don't know, I've been thinking a lot about Lily."

Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

"What about Lily?"

"I don't know…I've just, been thinking about, a relationship with her."

"How do you mean?"

"It's just, I don't know how…. to have a relationship with her."

His friends were all listening then.

"Isn't that what you've been wanting for the past four years?" Sirius questioned, looking befuddled.

"Yeah, it is, but I'm just realising now that all this time, I've never really thought about what being with her, having her as my girlfriend, would be like."

Their was silence for a full minute as his friends stared at him, their mouths agape once more, before they all fell about laughing.

"Prongs, all you've done for the past few years is fantasise about Lily being your girlfriend," Remus managed through his laughter.

"But it's just been that though, a fantasy!" James exclaimed in frustration. "I've got no idea how it would actually work."

"It's just like being friends, but with the added benefit of sex," Sirius suggested helpfully.

"You've done a great job of being her friend so far this year," Remus told him. "I guess you just build on that, do what feels comfortable."

"You sound like a girl Moony," Peter told him, snatching the bottle out of his hands.

"If I know Lily, she'll let you know what's…acceptable." Remus said with the ghost of a smile, ignoring Pete.

"Well that's the truth," Sirius snorted.

"I could be getting ahead of myself, who says anything is actually going to happen?" James mused aloud. 

"It certainly looks that way," Wormtail said.

"Yeah, well, I'd better not count my dragon eggs before they crack," James replied.

"You're really optimistic tonight, hey Padfoot?" Remus asked, throwing him over the near empty bottle for good measure.

It was unfortunate that, just as James took a sizable gulp of Firewhiskey, Sirius decided to ask –

"Who says Evans is a virgin anyway?"

James choked in response to Sirius's words, before spraying his bed with Firewhiskey in an attempt to clear his throat. His eyes watering, his breath laboured he contemplated his friend's words in shock.

"Since when have we been talking about…that?" Peter asked in shock.

"Well, Prongs asked about being with virgins, and then started talking about Lily, so I assumed…"

"Is _that_ what you were getting at?" Remus asked, looking as if he might be amused.

"It's crossed my mind," James rasped, massaging his throat while still staring at Sirius, who seemed unaware of the turmoil he had caused in James's mind.

Because he had never thought that Lily might have slept with someone else.

And he certainly hadn't expected the thought to be as agonising as it was.

"Do you think that's likely?" He demanded of his friends, who looked at him blankly, amusedly and hesitantly in turn. "I mean she's never even had a boyfriend!"

"And how many of the girls you've slept with have you called your girlfriend?" Sirius asked with raised eyebrows, knowing James's answer would be none.

"Lily's not like that," James said staunchly.

"She has had a boyfriend though," Peter said nervously. "Remember last year, she dated Dearborn, the Ravenclaw from our year?"

James almost growled, he did remember, no matter how much he wished he could forget it. He remembered seeing them in Hogsmeade together or sitting in the Library, silently working on homework. Worst of all, he remembered sitting outside the Ravenclaw tower under his Invisibility Cloak for a torturous two hours one weekend, waiting for her to emerge, desperate to know why she was there, but not wanting to know at the same time. He remembered being infuriated with her when she had left, only minutes before curfew, her face normal, betraying no signs of having had either an enjoyable or horrible time and thus giving him no clue as to what she could possibly been doing there for so long. The next day, Dearborn found himself come out with a rather nasty case of hives, and he and Lily had parted ways only days after that.

"You don't think she…gave herself to _him _do you?" He growled in the general direction of his friends.

"Gave herself?" Sirius echoed with a bark of laughter. "I'm sorry; did we just step back to eighteen twenty three without my realising it?"

James couldn't respond. Never before had he thought that only being with one person for your entire life was an enviable thing, but suddenly, at the thought of Lily entwined in the embrace of another man, it seemed like the most natural, and perfect thing in the world.

"I doubt it James, I don't think Lily was ever that into Caradoc," Remus said to him reassuringly, fixing him with his pale eyes. "And besides, even if she had, would it matter?"

A part of James screamed at him that of course it mattered, wasn't that the reason that the mental image of her writhing underneath a nameless, faceless stranger made him sick to the stomach? But the more reasonable part of him, and perhaps the part that wasn't controlled by masculine pride and outdated possessive instincts remembered the feel of Lily in his arms on the train that morning, and the heavy, lust filled gaze she had given him in his bedroom on Christmas Eve. The different perspectives in his brain were battling for dominance, but both agreed on one thing.

That James had to have Lily, soon; he would not leave Hogwarts without her.

Reaching for the bottle of Firewhiskey again James took a drink, before looking at his best mates.

"It's going to be an interesting term…"

"Do you think girls ever talk like we do?" Peter asked, draining the last of the Firewhiskey.

James and his friends were silent for a full minute, all considering the horrendous possibility that girls talked about men in the same way that they discussed women. James was horrified at the possibility that right at that moment, Lily could be upstairs in bed, giggling with Alice about him.

He met the equally terrified looks of the other Marauders, and, in a futile effort to reassure themselves they all said as one –

"Nah, never."

**((XX))**

_Welcome to Friday! I'm sorry about the wait on this chapter, but real life has a nasty habit of getting in the way. However, I finished Uni this week, yay! Which means I'll have more time to write than ever before._

_Thankyou all for your reviews and inquiries, I'm sorry I couldn't respond to you all. I'll try to do better this week, all who review will, of course, get a preview of Chapter Twelve. _

_Have a safe and happy week!_

_SC._


	12. Chapter 12

_Before we start a few things…_

_Firstly, I've been overwhelmed by the increase in readership and reviews this week! Welcome to all my new readers and thankyou for reading Fait Accompli, I'm so glad to have you on board! _

_Secondly their was some confusion about Lily's former boyfriend, Caradoc Dearborn. He's a Ravenclaw from their year level, who Lily dated briefly the year before. Later, he will go on to join the Order, so keep in mind that he's not all bad at the end of this chapter._

_Something else I've had questioned is why I haven't sent some people previews of the next chapter. For those of you who aren't aware, I cannot respond to anonymous reviews, you have to be signed it to ff for me to be able to respond. I appreciate every review, and respond to all that I can _

_A reminder that this story is rated Mature, believe me, its for a reason. _

_I know a few of my reader's have exams coming up (me too!) good luck to all of you! Let me know how you go!_

_As I mentioned to those who reviewed, this is both one of my favourite and least favourite chapters at the same time, I think you'll know what I mean by the end!_

**Finally! A reminder…**

**Things I own: a new handbag, a Hogwarts acceptance letter and this story**

**Things I do not own: Rob Pattinson (unfortunately), the Harry Potter universe (unfortunately), and the **_**amazing **_**Jimmy Choos I've been lusting over for months (unfortunately). **

* * *

Chapter Twelve – Irony

"_**The course of true love never did run smooth"**_

**A Midsummer Nights Dream (1, i, 134)**

**William Shakespeare**

Classes began again, with the added pressure for the seventh years of filling out job application forms. Sleep, food and relaxation all became rare luxuries as the students began to buckle under the weight of assignments, essays, applications and references. Madame Duchene was called on regularly to administer a calming draught, as students broke down as a Professor handed out yet another horrendously long essay, due on the same day as three others that already weren't complete and it all became too much.

Unlike most others, James Potter also had his Head Boy and Quidditch Captain duties to contend with. Everybody seemed to expect that James was nearing breaking point, when, in reality, he'd never been happier.

Of course he was stressed and sleep deprived, but it was N.E.W.T year and with all of his other responsibility's he had expected that. But he was managing and things were good.

Because he was almost certain that Lily Evans was flirting with him.

It had started innocently enough, with her waiting at the foot of the stairs for him the morning after they had returned on the Hogwarts Express. His friends had merely raised their eyebrows at him and fallen into step with Alice, who was hovering by the portrait hole, clearly holding back laughter. Lily was smiling at him and before he could so much as say good morning, she was reaching up to him on tiptoe, her fingertips brushing his temples, as she straightened his spectacles.

"Your glasses were crooked," she said, by way of explanation, sinking back down onto her heels and slipping her arm around his. "Did you sleep well?"

James blushed a little, remembering the far from innocent dreams he had had of the girl standing beside him, the night before.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat gruffly. "Did you?"

He saw a faint trace of pink inexplicably creeping up her face and wondered desperately what was making her blush.

"Yes, thanks."

Unsure of what to do when they had reached the portrait hole, James had made to assist Lily's ascent.

"I can do it myself you know, I've managed so far for seven years," she raised her eyebrows at him, her eyes teasing and James was sure his gulp had been audible.

It continued on like that, though rather more suggestively through their first week back. She'd reach across him at breakfast, her breast brushing against his arm and causing him to jump in his seat. She laughed at his jokes, even the ones that weren't funny, smiled every time somebody mentioned Hogsmeade, even in passing and didn't lose her temper whenever anybody, usually Sirius, made a joke about their upcoming date.

Try as he might, James hadn't been able to convince the Marauders that Lily really was flirting, putting it down to his over-active fantastical imagination. Three days into the term however, sitting in Potions around a cauldron with Lily and Remus, his point was proven, as _the situation_, as James had dubbed it, reached fever pitch.

The trio were working feverishly together on the potion in front of them. At the start of class Professor Slughorn had declared that any group who managed to produce a perfect invisibility potion by the end of class would be exempt from the six foot essay that he had assigned the day before. The room was immediately filled with noise, smells and smoke, as every group worked frenetically to produce the potion, desperate to avoid yet another essay that they really didn't have time to do.

The hour past far to quickly for Lily's liking, the last ten minutes spent madly working to at least produce something that Slughorn might deem passable. When Slughorn finally called time up Lily slumped down into her seat, wiping her brow with the back of her hand. On either side of her, James and Remus collapsed also, exhausted from the effort they'd put into their potion. Cautiously, they all peered into their shared cauldron and Lily was warily optimistic. The potion was completely translucent as instructed by the textbook, though, as Lily stirred it, she thought it was rather thicker than the silky consistency described by Libatius Borage and hoped that it wouldn't be their undoing.

Lily's heart thumped audibly in her chest as Slughorn dipped a teaspoon into their cauldron and slowly poured their transparent liquid over the struggling mouse in his hands. Lily reached out, gripping Remus's arm and, rather daringly she thought, James's upper thigh. She would have smiled at the automatic flinch he gave as they touched, but she was too nervous as they waited the full minute it took for the potion to take affect.

Time stretched on and she was sure that their potion had failed, disappointment was settling into her when suddenly, there was no mouse in Slughorn's hands anymore.

"Oh ho!" He exclaimed, running a finger over the invisible skin of the frog, the inability of his hands to make contact with each other their only proof the mammal still existed. "Here we have it ladies and gentleman, a perfect invisibility potion from our Gryffindor's. As promised, I'll grade you an Outstanding for this segment of the course, no essay necessarily."

James knocked his chair back in excitement as he jumped to his feet in celebration. Beside him, Remus and Lily had also done the same, despite Remus having already started the assignment the night before, somewhere between two and three in the morning. He and Remus high-fived briefly, as Lily turned to Remus, her face glowing with excitement and hugged him in celebration. As she turned to face James, he prepared for the brief and delightful prospect of holding her in his arms, and was not disappointed. Her body, so much smaller and more delicate than his, fit snugly against his own as she squeezed him in joyful celebration and he couldn't help but lift her off her feet a little, in the enthusiasm of their embrace.

He set her back down on her feet, expecting her to let go and for them to leave the classroom, the hour being over. Instead, she left one arm wrapped lightly around his waist as she reached up and ruffled his hair.

"And you said you couldn't do potions," though her words were teasing her tone was, James was almost sure he wasn't mistaken, a little seductive. "I wonder what else you can do that I don't know about yet."

She casually tweaked his chin and turned, flouncing out the doorway.

Remus exchanged a shocked glance with James, his eyes wide, his mouth a little agape.

"She…Lily was….flirting with you!" He exclaimed, apparently lost for words.

"I told you!" James replied, too shocked to be righteous over his victory. "I'm not imagining it."

"When she touched your leg, I thought I'd pass out," Remus said, his voice hollow with disbelief.

"You're telling me," James groaned in frustration.

"We're going to be late for Herbology James." Lily called out and the normally smooth James Potter almost tripped over his feet in his hurry to catch up with her.

James had found Lily enchanting when she was lecturing and telling him off, as an innocent friend she had been almost irresistible. Now that she was trying, actually _trying_, to entice him, he was sure it would be the death of him.

**((XX))**

James was putting the finishing touches on his application to the Auror office when Sirius flopped down in the empty chair beside him.

"All done mate?" He asked, unwrapping a sweet from his pocket and leisurely throwing it up and catching it in his mouth, despite dinner only just having finished.

"Finally," James shrugged, stretching luxuriously and pushing the parchment away from himself.

"You talked to Evans about it then?"

"Lily?" James asked confusedly. "What would I talk to her about?"

"Your Auror application; I figured being that it looks like things are getting serious with Evans and all, you'd talk to her about it, especially after her reaction to you saying you were going to be Auror on Christmas Eve."

James looked at Sirius, his words slowly sinking in. He hadn't even thought of that. In sheer frustration he slapped himself on the forehead.

"How did you think of that and I didn't?" He asked Sirius, who shrugged modestly.

"What can I say? I'm good with women."

"You're good at getting women into broom closets or up to the Astronomy tower, you're not meant to be the relationship expert," James commented distractedly, wondering where he would find Lily, their applications were due in the next day.

"You used to be good at that too," Sirius claimed with mock sadness. "She's in the Library you idiot, I saw her heading down there earlier."

"You're the greatest Padfoot," James told him, jumping to his feet and hastily shoving his application into his bag. "I'll catch up with you later on."

He was out the portrait hole and headed for the Library before Sirius could respond.

**

* * *

**

Lily couldn't remember when she had last felt so light. Straight after dinner she had gone to the Owlery, borrowed one of the school owl's and sent her application to the St Mungo's traineeship program. With the weight of her application off her shoulders, she had gone to the Library, hoping the calm, quiet atmosphere would allow her to finish her Charms essay that night, which would permit her to get more than the four hours sleep she'd been surviving on for the last week past.

She had finished in remarkable time and was re-reading her work when somebody lowered themselves into a seat opposite her. She looked up to the smiling face of her ex-boyfriend Caradoc Dearborn. Though boyfriend may have been a slight over exaggeration of what they had been for three or four months at the start of their sixth year; though they had acted as a couple, perhaps not as physically as many of their classmates, Lily had always been rather reserved about their relationship. She'd had no reason to be, Caradoc was everything a girl could want, handsome, reasonably intelligent and very, very attentive. Perhaps that had been the problem, Caradoc though very flattering and complimentary, had almost smothered Lily with attention. It wasn't that she was averse to being flattered, but Caradoc had taken his sycophancy of her to the extreme, Lily knew her faults and she also knew she didn't want to be lied to. When he had complimented her singing after hearing her accompanying the wireless one day, it had been the end of the line for Lily. Because she was an _awful_ singer, James Potter had told her so on countless occasions. At the time Katie had attributed their break up to a lack of what she called 'spark' and Lily was inclined to agree, they just didn't work together.

That didn't mean however, as he sat opposite her, that she was adverse to a conversation.

"Hello Lily," he spoke, in his deep, echoic voice. "How are you?"

"Fine thanks, how are you?"

"Well," he replied smiling at her. "You certainly look well."

Lily flushed; she had forgotten how pleasant his compliments were.

"I've just realised that I have no homework to do. It's a wonderful feeling."

"It becomes you," he told her with a wink that she fought not to flinch against, really how tacky could he be? "Are you done in here then? I was just leaving, I'd be happy to walk you out."

"Sure," Lily agreed easily, though tempted to remind him that she was perfectly capable of walking alone.

"I'll just return this book and I'll be right with you," he told her, shaking his blonde locks. "As if I could stay away."

As he sauntered off Lily wandered what on Earth could be behind Caradoc's sudden increase in flirtation. It definitely couldn't be that she looked completely irresistible. It was Friday night, she'd been studying all day, her hair had become a haphazard mess somewhere between lunch and sixth lesson and she had had a total of less than twenty hours sleep in over a week. Her leggings and jumper certainly weren't anything special; in fact, the jumper was probably a bit small if anything. And yet here was her ex-boyfriend, suddenly attentive again.

He was back by her side as she finished packing her books away and they left the Library together. They paused outside; their Common Room's being in different directions.

"I must say you're looking lovely tonight Lily," Caradoc started and Lily suppressed a sigh. "You get more stunning every time I see you. I miss you, your voice, and your sense of humour….your kisses."

Lily couldn't help but raise her eyebrows. Her sense of humour had been a major failing point in their relationship; he hadn't understood it at all and had often, wrongly, assumed she was making fun of him.

She did her best to smile.

"That was a long time ago Caradoc," she told him with a laugh, laying her hand on his arm to keep him at a safe distance.

"Too long," he told her. "I miss having the most beautiful witch in the world as mine."

Before Lily could tell him not to be ridiculous, a very large somebody stepped roughly between her and Caradoc, clamping a hand down around her wrist and yanking her behind him.

"Excuse us Dearborn," James Potter all but growled. "But I need to steal Lily, very important Head business."

Then, without even addressing her, he yanked her away from Caradoc and down the hall, setting a pace that had her running to catch up as she trailed behind him, his hand still wrapped around her wrist.

"James, what the hell?" She exclaimed as he yanked her through the busy corridors, seemingly oblivious to the stares people gave them as their Head Boy pulled the Head Girl along by the wrist, his face stoically angry, hers a mask of confusion.

Eventually, James seemed to reach wherever it was he'd been aiming for. A reasonably busy fifth story corridor, with a dozen or so people in it; James marched to the end of the passageway, yanked open what appeared to be a broom closet and pushed Lily inside.

"James, what in the name of Merlin…!"

Lily's incredulous question was cut off by James's harsh voice.

"I can't believe how you were letting that poonce treat you! Merlin Lily! Is that what you want to hear? I thought you were better than that, smarter! Is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to flatter you and tell you lies? Is that the best way to win you? I've never been anything but honest with you; I will _never_ be anything but honest with you, because I value your intelligence too much for that! You don't get to flirt with him Lily! Can't you see what a fool he's making you look like? Calling you nice things and flattering you.

It might sound nice to hear Lils, but I know you and I thought that wasn't what you wanted. Did you want me to tell you that you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen, it's all true Lily, but I value you too much to under appreciate you that way! Because to me Lily you're not just beautiful! I mean, when I was fourteen that's all I thought about, but I'm smarter now and I see you for what you are. Fiery and passionate and kind and fierce spirited and the most intelligent witch I know. You're brilliant Lily, far, far too brilliant to let someone as narrow minded and ridiculous as Caradoc Dearborn call you a bright spark."

Finally he drew breath, panting; the dim light of the broom closet reflecting off his glasses as he pulled at his hair in frustration. Lily was lost for words as she tried to take in everything he'd just said, finally, she gathered enough sense to speak.

"James, you've got the wrong…"

"Wasn't it bad enough I had to endure all this last year?" James demanded, interrupting her. "I had to watch you walk around holding hands with him, see you _kissing_ him, wanting so desperately for all of that to be me. And those nights you spent hours in the Ravenclaw Common Room, leaving me to imagine you and him….do you know how _painful _it is Lily, to know that you gave yourself to that useless lump…"

"Hold on." Lily interrupted; her voice finally louder than James's. "Don't jump to conclusions. I never slept with him; or anybody else for that matter…"

"You never….with him?" James echoed, looking as if he hardly dared believe her words.

"No. Or anybody else!" She exclaimed.

"Thank Merlin for that," James muttered and before she had a chance to be affronted by his actions, he stepped forward in the extremely cramped space of the broom closet, pushing her against the wall and causing her to stumble over an errant mop bucket. He pulled her up, pressing her hard against the wall and covering her mouth with his.

His kiss was hot, passionate and heady, full of unbridled lust and years of pent up desire. For a split second, Lily remained immobile, shocked by James's sudden attack, but as he pulled her hips against his own, wrapping his arms tightly and possessively around her body, she responded. Their lips moved together in earnest, in new and unfamiliar ways as they gasped against each other, their tongues battling for dominance, their teeth clashing, their hands gnawing at each other with their desperate need to be close. Some small part of Lily's mind thought absently that she had never been kissed with the passion that James was kissing her now, but she ignored it, her hands reaching for his hair as she focused on the pure pleasure and need that such a kiss brought with it.

James's lips broke away from hers and her whole body almost screamed in disappointment as she drew ragged, heaving breaths, but she was not be let down for long as his lips moved to her jaw, her throat and moved their way down over her collarbones.

"You are mine." He growled against her neck, smothering it with open mouth kisses. "Do you hear me? Mine."

The only response Lily could make was a throaty whimper and she felt James laugh against her throat…

And then his lips were on hers again and it was entirely different as he pressed his body flush against hers, running his hands over her shoulders, her sides, grazing her breast, passing down over her bum and thighs, setting her on fire everywhere his magical fingers ventured.

And then he was gone again, breaking away from her and running his hands through his hair, just as she had been doing only seconds before.

"I'll meet you in the Head's Common Room for patrol just before ten," he grinned at her through swollen lips, before opening the closet door, and striding out.

Lily slumped against the wall of the broom closet, trying to collect her thoughts.

What the hell had just happened? One moment she had been listening to Caradoc's nonsense and the next she was kissing James Potter as if her life depended on it. She had no idea how it had happened, but she knew one thing.

She had liked it. Never in her life had she been kissed that way, in a way that left her body aching for more, breathless and her head spinning. James Potter certainly knew how to kiss a girl; James Potter could make a girl forget her own name.

Ten o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

Unable to think about anything except what had occurred in the broom closet Lily found herself in the Head's Common Room much earlier than was necessary to meet James. There was a fire crackling merrily in the hearth, bathing the room with a pleasant warmth that Lily couldn't help but smile at. No matter how confused she was by what had happened, she had been hard pressed to keep the corners of her mouth from twitching upwards, her heart from suddenly beating faster and her hands from shaking as she remembered the feeling of James's mouth moving so ravenously against her own.

She wasn't sure how, but in the few moments of that amazing kiss Lily had been blessed by a certain clarity. As she took a seat by the window and stared out at the darkness of the Hogwarts grounds by night she was certain she was doing the right thing.

Because she was in love with James Potter, she had been for year's maybe. All those things that used to irk her now made her love him. She was still sensible, she knew that they had a long way to go, but for the first time, she was willing to try, she was going to try for a future with James Potter.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a flurry of activity outside the window. She looked up, recognising the owl, waiting for her to let it inside, her heart thudded audibly in her chest, as her shaking hands opened the window to let in the news she had so long been dreading.

_Helene. _

**

* * *

**

James was whistling as he made his way to the Head's Common Room a couple of minutes before ten. He'd been unable to keep a silly grin from his face since his chauvinistic display of propriety over Lily only hours earlier. He was honestly surprised by how well she had reacted, though shock could have been partly responsible. Though it hadn't been a conscience decision to act as he had, he'd known from the moment his brain had taken possession of his body again that his actions could have either disgusted Lily to the point where she would no longer want anything to do with him, or shocked her into realising that she ought to give them a chance. And being that she hadn't tracked him down to scream at him as yet, James was cautiously optimistic.

He cheerfully gave the password to the Common Room and ambled in. The small room was flickering with a pleasant light and James didn't immediately see Lily. His eyes scanned the room looking for her, finally finding her, slumped on the floor, her face such a mask of devastation that James was by her side in an instant.

"Lil? Lily, what's wrong?"

She shook her head wordlessly, her eyes so agonised as they met his that he immediately wrapped his arms around her body, pressing her as close to him as possible.

"What is it?" He asked, determined to fix whatever it was that had caused her so much pain.

"Gone, both of them," she choked, her breath coming out in short sharp bursts.

"Who's gone? Lily, please, talk to me," he pleaded.

Wordlessly, she gestured to a piece of parchment, no, it was paper, the paper Muggles used to write on, crumpled on the floor by her feet.

He reached for it, smoothing it out as he read, his grip getting tighter on her with every line.

_Lily,_

_Mum passed this morning. Dad and I were with her, it was peaceful._

_Dad insisted on driving home by himself, Vernon took me. Dad had a car accident, he crashed into a tree. He's gone Lily, they're both gone._

_Come home, please._

_Petunia. _

**

* * *

**

* * *

*Ducks for cover as readers through eggs*

Sorry! But you all knew it had to happen, bring your tissues and chocolate for the next chapter!

Theirs not much left to say except have a great week everyone, and, as usual, all those who review will receive a preview of Chapter Thirteen.

SC.


	13. Chapter 13

_In the chaos that has been my week, I've completely forgotten to send this to my beta, Casey. As a result, all mistakes can be attributed to me and me alone. _

**Things I Own: Tickets to the Deathly Hallows premier, a pair of purple suede pumps I can't walk in, and a broken pair of Pointe shoes,**

**Things I Don't Own: The new pair of Pointe shoes I need, Rupert Grint (damn), or the Harry Potter universe, including all recognisable places and characters in this story,**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

"_**To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune... to lose both seems like carelessness."**_

**Oscar Wilde**

The small bed Lily lay in wasn't as comfortable as the one she had become accustomed to at Hogwarts, the sheets weren't as warm or as soft and nobody pulled it up for her whenever she left it, but none of those were the things that were keeping her from sleep as the small digital alarm clock ticked over three am, the night before her parents funerals.

It had been only four days since she had received Petunia's owl letting her know of the passing of both of her parents. If she had been expecting the news of her mothers death it had only worsened the blow of losing her father also. At least she had had some opportunity to prepare herself to farewell Elizabeth, she had said her goodbye's and almost resigned herself to the knowledge that she would, at some stage, receive an owl informing her of her mothers passing. The reality that her father, who had remained so strong and so optimistic throughout her mothers illness, had been so blinded by his grief and tears that he had failed to slow down enough for a sharp bend in the road and had careered off the road and collided head on with a tree, was as horrific as it was unexpected. For months Lily had been steeling herself to farewell her mother, and now, she found herself trying to prepare for something she had never expected to have to do, watch as both of her parents were lowered into the ground on the one day.

And despite her knowledge that she was not alone in the house she had grown up in, she had never felt more alone in her life.

For if Lily had expected to fall into her sisters arms and cry she had been sorely mistaken. Rather than their shared grief bringing the once close sisters together again it had had the opposite affect. Petunia was withdrawn and distant, wrapped in her own grief as they contacted those that needed to be informed and made the arrangements that needed to be made. Through the day, Petunia remained composed and dignified, barely allowing a tremble of her lips or a shake of her hands, but every night as she and Vernon retired to her bedroom (something that Lily knew their parents would have never allowed), Lily heard her sobbing, as Vernon, who Petunia hadn't been without since the last days of their mothers illness, tried to console her.

And despite the circumstances, and despite the fact that Vernon Dursley really wasn't dissimilar from an obese, and obnoxious, walrus, Lily was jealous of her sister, because she had her fiancé, and Lily was alone.

In better times, Lily would have laughed at the realisation that she was envious of a relationship with Vernon Dursley. Though she knew it was not Vernon she was invidious of, but the strength of a relationship that allowed Petunia to show her fiancé herself at her worst, that Petunia could cry, while Lily's eyes, despite her aching heart and throbbing head, remained stubbornly and painfully dry.

As sleep still evaded her, Lily's thoughts turned to James, and she wandered what he was doing at that moment. Given the hour it was only logical that he would be asleep, but knowing James and the Marauder's, they could be anywhere. The thought almost made her smile as she imagined them creeping around the castle, evading the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle and preparing a day of pranks on the largely unsuspecting populace of the castle. For the first time she found herself envious of a Muggle way of life, and the instantaneous communication it offered.

She thought wryly of the irony of the situation she had found herself in with James. It was typical that, in the same night she had decided to give a relationship with the man that had been persuading her into one for so long, a go, her life would be torn apart with the delivery of a letter. Their was always something in their way, if it hadn't have been so frustrating it might have been amusing.

Lily's thoughts shifted focus to the conversation she had been forced to endure with Petunia and Vernon the day before. They had gathered around their small kitchen table, Petunia and Lily picking uninterestedly at one of the many casseroles that their neighbours had delivered as Vernon dug in heartily. As they had eaten, Lily had listened as her future was decided without her.

"We spoke to the solicitor today about the division of assets," Petunia had told her in a coolly detached tone. "He believes that the value of the house is equal to the value of their assets, so Vernon and I thought that we'd look after the sale of everything for you, and we'd take the house."

Lily had looked up from her stew in surprise.

"It only makes sense," Vernon had spoken next. "You are at school after all. Petunia and I will ensure that you have your share, then…spiff this place up a bit and find a buyer."

Lily was to tired and to heartsore to take offense to the critical glance he had spared the house she had grown up in.

"It makes sense," she had echoed, nodding her head in agreement. "At the end of the year I'll find somewhere to live I guess."

"You can stay with us, until you find something," Petunia had offered immediately, though Lily was sure her words came from a sense of duty rather than any real desire to have her stay.

"Though we'd understand if you'd rather stay with friends, people who you're…more like," Vernon added hastily.

So he was in on the secret, Petunia had told him her sister was a witch and he was still around, he had more pluck than she had assumed.

Vaguely, as she finally drifted off to sleep, Lily thought about what James would have said, if he had have found out his fiery girl had lost the fight in her.

The next day dawned, overcast and bitterly cold, as if to reflect Lily's mood. Functioning only on the most basic level, Lily donned the simple black dress she usually reserved for funerals, went downstairs and made breakfast in the kitchen.

Vernon and Petunia were waiting for her in the foyer and together, they drove the short distance to the local cemetery.

Quite a crowd had gathered in the area behind where the two mahogany caskets had been placed, but Lily barely spared them a glance as she walked towards them. Absentmindedly, she shook the proffered hand of the celebrant who would officiate the small ceremony they had arranged and tried to listen to his words as to how the ceremony would run. Try as she might, she couldn't keep her eyes away from the two coffins laying only meters away from her, with flowers heaped on top. She had been to funerals before of course, her grandparents when she had been much younger, and her dad's brother in her third year, but never before had the finality of death hit her as hard as it did now. She struggled not to cry out as she realised that her parents bodies were in those wooden boxes. Bodies that had created her, held her, loved her and watched her grow were about to be put into the cold earth, conceivably for all eternity. In theory she had always known that, but the reality of the situation, the knowledge that her parents were never to be seen again, made her feel ill to her stomach.

The celebrant moved off and Lily was left standing alone to the left of her parent's graves, her sister and Vernon to the right. Her eyes ached with tears that wouldn't come as she stood alone, staring at the coffins that held the people that had once loved her more than any others in the world. Opposite her, Petunia wept freely in the arms of her fiancé and still Lily's tears wouldn't come. She could do nothing but stare at the wooden boxes in front of her, as her throat swelled, her eyes ached and her heart felt ready to explode with pain.

Unable to look at her parents coffins anymore, Lily tore her eyes away, desperate for something to distract her, as the celebrant continued his seemingly endless eulogy of her parents lives.

She almost gasped in shock as her gaze fell upon a small group standing separately from the other mourners.

Because she recognised them all.

The first she saw was Professor Dumbledore, wearing a magnificent Muggle suit, in a vibrant aubergine. Beside him was Professor's McGonagall and Slughorn, the former dressed in his best waist coat and cravat, usually reserved for special occasions at Hogwarts.

Dorcas was towards the front of the group, tears streaking down her face, the arms of Remus Lupin wrapped around her shoulders. Beside them, stood Peter and Sirius, with identical masks of sadness painted over their very different features. Alice was to the other side of Dorcas, in the embrace of Frank, tears glistening on her cheeks. Beside Alice and Frank, to Lily's surprise, was Mr and Mrs Potter, James's parents, and standing in front of them, his eyes fixed firmly on hers, was James.

At the sight of so many people she was so fond of, and people she most certainly had not expected to see, the tears that had evaded Lily for so long, suddenly spilt forth over her cheeks in torrents.

James was a bundle of nervous energy as he arrived at the cemetery with his friends and professors that morning, unsure if he was doing the right thing by attending, confused to as if Lily would want him there. At the same time, he had been unable to stay away, needing to see her and rid himself of the memory of the last time they had been together. Her face as she had prepared to leave Hogwarts that night haunted him, though as she arrived at the cemetery, trailing behind who he could only assume to be her sister and her sister's fiancé, he was suddenly doubtful that he would leave with any happier memories of the countenance he loved so much. Her face was drawn with pain, the normal flush of colour was gone from her now pasty cheeks and the dark bags under her eyes indicated she had not been sleeping well. James twitched uncomfortably where he stood, willing himself desperately not to race to her, when he so desperately felt the need to comfort her. His mother's reassuring grasp on his arm worked as a restraint as he watched her eyes widen with horror as she stood staring at her parents caskets.

His resolve broke when for the first time, she noticed their presence. He watched as her eyes swept the assembled crowd of wizards and witches, her gaze finally meeting his. The tears that suddenly sprang from her eyes and down her cheeks propelled him into action so fast that he didn't even have time to consider that perhaps she was crying _because_ he was there. Without thinking he was striding away from the group of his friends, family and teachers and was crossing the cemetery to get to the girl he loved.

His strides were so long it took him only seven to reach her. Her large green eyes looked up at him, tears spilling over them and rushing down her cheeks, her lips trembling as she stared at him. He reached out, drawing his arms around her and crushing her against his chest. Her seemingly fragile little body collapsed into his chest, sobs wracking her as he pulled her closer, rubbing soothing circles into her back and pressing his lips against her hair. He saw the open mouthed stares of Lily's sister and her fiancé, and hoped that he wasn't causing too much trouble for her later, but in that moment, as her body shook in his arms, her fingers clawing into his shirt with such a desperate intensity that he didn't think she'd ever let go, he couldn't have cared less what the world threw at them next.

* * *

From the top of a hill, almost a kilometre away, a lone figure hunkered into his jacket, watching the funerals of George and Elizabeth Evans with a frustrated and heavy heart. He knew the pain Lily was feeling as she stared in horrified disbelief at her parents graves. He knew her expressions better than he knew his own and he knew how close she had been to her parents, a relationship he had always envied. He hated not being able to go to her, and he knew it was the result of his own actions. It wouldn't matter if he turned his back on the Dark Lord now, their was to much between them for things to ever be the way they once were, but it didn't ease the pain he felt, as he watched her break, and watched James Potter take her in his arms.

As he turned his back on the scene playing out in the graveyard, Severus Snape's transformation into a Death Eater was completed.

**

* * *

  
**

Lily was still struggling to sleep, the night before she was return to Hogwarts. It had been a week, the insistent ringing of the phone had ceased, the sympathetic cards had stopped arriving, as to, had the casseroles and bouquets of flowers that had been arriving so frequently. She supposed most people had stopped thinking of them now, which was only understandable, she herself felt different now than she had a week previously. The raw pain of the unexpectedness of losing both of her parents had been replaced by a hollow sort of feeling of loss. A feeling exacerbated by Petunia and Vernon's plans to sell everything she had ever known. She couldn't blame them, it only made sense, but it didn't worsen the blow that, when she graduated in June, she would be, for all intents and purposes, homeless.

Lily nibbled on the block of chocolate in front of her, knowing that in twenty-four hours she'd likely be doing the same thing with Alice and tried to draw pleasure from the knowledge that she would soon be back at Hogwarts.

"Couldn't sleep?" A voice from the doorway asked

.

"Not really," Lily replied as Petunia took a seat opposite her. "You?"

"No," Petunia accepted the block of chocolate that her sister pushed towards her.

They were silent for several minutes.

"You're all set to go back tomorrow?" Petunia asked eventually.

"I'm leaving after dinner, I'll pack up my bedroom before I go," Lily swallowed, imagining packing up the room she had slept in since she was an infant. "Are you still happy to store everything at your new house?"

"We've set aside some room for it," Petunia commented stiffly. The forced and business like nature of their conversation was enough to make Lily want to cry as she remembered the days when, as little girls, they would sneak downstairs after their parents had gone to bed and talk and talk until one of their parents came down to admonish them and send them back upstairs.

As if echoing Lily's thoughts, Petunia heaved a large sigh and broke off another segment of chocolate.

"Who was the man at the cemetery yesterday? The one who came over to you half way through the service, with the messy dark hair and glasses?" Petunia asked and

Lily felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She had been wondering when her sister would mention the presence of so many witches and wizards at their parents funeral.

"James," Lily told her. "James Potter."

She saw a faint trace of annoyance cross Petunia's face and almost smirked the smirk she had seen so many times on James's face, it was nice to still be able to infuriate her sister, no matter how childish it was.

"James Potter," Petunia echoed thoughtfully. "Do you…erh….know him from school?"

"He's the Head Boy," Lily confirmed, smiling at the thought and remembering how horrified she had been to discover that only months earlier.

"Are you….dating?" Petunia finally asked bluntly.

Lily shrugged noncommittally, because she honestly wasn't sure what James was to her anymore.

"He certainly looked like he was your boyfriend," Petunia told her with raised eyebrows. "And you didn't seem to want to let him go when he left."

"I didn't want any of them to go," Lily said sadly, as she remembered clinging to everybody in her reach, as they said their farewells. Alice had begged Professor Dumbledore to let her stay with Lily until she returned to Hogwarts, but Lily had insisted she go, though it pained her to do so, exams after all, were only three months away. "They're my family now."

Petunia's flinch was visible and Lily immediately regretted her words.

"I didn't mean that Tuney, you and I will always be sisters, but we're so different now. You've got your friends and Vernon…"

"And you've got James," Petunia interrupted with a small smile. "Tell me what's going on Lil's, for tonight at least, we can act like sisters."

"I always thought I hated him," Lily spoke thoughtfully. "Him and his stupid friends, always playing pranks and finding trouble, and James asked me out nearly every time he saw me," her eyes suddenly filled with tears for reasons she couldn't comprehend. "I couldn't stand them, and now they're the best friends I could ever imagine."

She paused to blow her nose.

"They were all there yesterday," she told Petunia when she was sure she had her emotions in check. "I think I've underestimated them, though, for the most part they've grown up a lot this year. James and I have gotten…a lot closer."

"I saw that yesterday," Petunia said quietly and Lily almost gasped when she realised that her sister was teasing her in a way she hadn't done since Lily was ten.

"Yes, well…" Lily blushed. "That's because, the day that mum and dad…well, I'd finally decided to give a shot with him. Earlier in the day he'd seen me talking to an ex and, James, well, I guess he got jealous," her blush deepened as she continued, "because he pulled me away and shoved me in a broom closet…"

"A broom closet?" Petunia interrupted, her eyes wide.

"A broom closet," Lily confirmed with a laugh. "And then…well, he kissed me. And Tuney, it was amazing, he really knows how to kiss."

It was the first time Lily had told anybody about what had happened, and it felt good to say it aloud, even though Petunia hadn't spoken since she had uttered her last.

"He's very good looking," she said eventually and Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"Dreamy," Lily agreed through her laughter. "But he really is, he's been amazing to me this year, dealing with everything…"

"What's everything?" Petunia asked, her brow furrowed.

"We…had some problems with attacks on students this year, particularly Muggle borns…"

"That's disgusting!" Petunia exclaimed, looking thoroughly repulsed.

"I know, but he looked out for me and still managed classes and Head Duties and Quidditch…"

"He's a Quidditch player?" Petunia asked, her eyebrows raised again.

"The captain of Gryffindor actually," Lily replied, secretly trying to impress her sister.

The girls lapsed into silence and Lily, sure Petunia was done with their conversation, went to get up and leave.

"I know you don't particularly like Vernon," Petunia spoke as Lily stood, prompting her to take her seat again. "But he's very good to me. He's successful and attentive and he'll give me a good life. He may not rescue me from dark….things, the way your James rescues you, but that's never been my dream. You've lived the fairytale Lily, I just want happiness and security and Vernon can give me those."

"Then I'm glad Tuney." Lily told her. "You could marry Jack the Ripper and I wouldn't care as long as he made you happy. Vernon's a good man, you're good for each other."

It was the highest compliment she could offer her walrus like almost brother in law without blatantly lying and she supposed what she had said was true. As far as most people were concerned, Petunia was making a good match, she would always be well looked after at least and if that's what it took to make her happy, then Lily was glad for it.

But she was also very glad that she knew that she could never settle for something less like her sister was doing.

**

* * *

  
**

_Thanks for reading, I promise things get better after this._

_Things in my life have been a bit chaotic lately, attributing to the delay. If things calm down I hope to be posting Chapter Fourteen next week (on the day Deathly Hallows comes out!), but I hope you can all understand if not. Between the bf's birthday, having new bosses at work, and it being the ballet competition season, I'm a little distracted._

_As always, a preview of Chapter Fourteen to all who review._

_Have a safe and happy week!_

_SC._


	14. Chapter 14

**Things I Own: ****a huge jar of peanut butter, a chocolate bar I'm saving for an emergency situation and a pair of newly cleaned ballet shoes…**

**Things I Don't Own (but wish I did): ****St Kilda FC season tickets, Robert Pattinson and anything you recognise from the Harry Potter universe…**

_Also, I may not own her, but I wish I did own my amazing beta Casey. She always does an amazing job, and I'm especially lucky to have her. She's had a tough week, send her some love _www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1343140/caseycoop

_Be prepared for a mammoth A/N at the end of the chapter, until then, enjoy…_

* * *

Chapter Fourteen -

Something very much like an interlude

"_**True is it that we have seen better days"**_

**As You Like It (2, VII, 120)**

**William Shakespeare**

Lily's return to Hogwarts was very anti-climatic, after spending the day packing up her bedroom, she had a final dinner with Petunia and Vernon, took one last turn around the house she had grown up in and Apparated to the Three Broomsticks in the dark. She allowed herself to be fussed over by Madame Rosmerta for a full half an hour before meeting Professor McGonagall at the gates of the castle and walking the path to the only home she had. It was just before midnight as she wound the familiar path through the castle towards the Gryffindor Common Room as she vaguely wondered if any of her friends were still awake and in the Common Room to greet her. Despite it being a Sunday night, the castle was quiet as she made her way through it and, at first glance, the Common Room was empty.

"Lily," his voice came from the furthest recesses of the room and she jumped slightly, before relaxing as she saw James stand from the chair he'd been slouched in and walk towards her.

"James," she smiled as much as she could muster, because she really was glad to see him. He stopped a foot from her, keeping a respectful distance, allowing her to make the first move. Hesitantly, almost shyly, she reached out and wrapped her arms around his slender, athletic waist. He responded almost immediately of course, pulling her tightly against his chest, as she felt something brush against her head she wondered vaguely if it might have been his lips.

"It's good to see you," he told her as they pulled back.

"You too, I've been thinking about you," she told him and he looked pleased. "I realised I never said thankyou for…the other day. It meant a lot to see you all there and especially you, what you did for me…"

He brushed off her thanks with a smile.

"I've got something for you, would you like it now or would you prefer to wait until tomorrow? If you're tired it can wait."

"I'm not tired," she told him. It was a downright lie, she was exhausted, but sleep was still evading her and her curiosity had been very much engaged.

She followed him to the couch where he'd been sitting prior to her arrival and sat down as he presented her with several large stacks of parchment. She looked at them in confusion. Instead of answering her questioning gaze, he indicated that she should look at them. Still confused, she flipped through the parchment before her to find perfectly copied out notes, dated and colour coded, with the homework for each written in a different colour ink underneath the lecture transcripts.

She looked up at James, touched beyond belief that he had gone to so much effort when only a year earlier he had refused to do anymore than attend classes and stare aimlessly out the window or pull pranks.

"I knew you'd be stressed about having missed so much school work, so I thought this might help," he shrugged as if it was nothing when she knew that several hours work must have gone into what sat in front of her.

"James, this is amazing, I don't know how to thank you."

Privately James's mind immediately conjured a few suggestions that, in happier times, he might have told her of. Before he could imagine something else to say, Lily had laid her head against his shoulder, yawning widely.

James hesitated, torn between what seemed to be the natural thing to do, place his arm around Lily's shoulder, or her waist, and not wanting to push her too far.

"You seem tired," he told her, trying to gauge how welcome his presence was.

"I am," she told him, smothering another yawn. "But I haven't been sleeping well, so I'd much rather be here with you."

Having achieved the validation he had required, James gently pulled his arm from under her and reached around her, his hand resting on her waist.

"I'm very glad you're back," he told her.

"I'm glad to be back," she replied, with a sigh that almost sounded content. "Tell me what I've missed out on."

"Not a lot, classes, lots of homework," James told her, casting his mind around for something to tell her. "We played Slytherin yesterday."

"Did you win?" She asked, looking up at him as she pushed her hair away from her face.

"Course," he grinned happily. "It was close for a while, but we got there."

"So you're into the final now?" She questioned, thinking of how she had spent yesterday packing up her parent's bedroom and how different that was to the happy day James must have had.

"Yeah, against Ravenclaw because they walloped Hufflepuff," he told her.

It was strange, Lily reflected, to think that life at Hogwarts had continued as normal, when hers had been put so on hold. She should have expected it, just because her life had ground to a sudden and traumatic stop didn't mean the world would discontinue revolving, but still, hearing that Quidditch had been played, homework had been handed out and classes had continued made Lily aware of just how much she'd missed.

"You'll catch up in no time," James told her suddenly, as if reading her thoughts. "Everybody's missed you; we'll make sure you've got everything you need."

"I don't know what I'd do without you all," Lily murmured. "And to think, a year ago I was giving you detention and trying to stop your pranks."

"And I was asking you out every opportunity I got," James laughed quietly. "For a lot of good it did me."

"You've only asked me to Hogsmeade once this year," Lily said, hiding her smile in his shoulder, amazed that she _was_ smiling in a way she hadn't been able to for over a week.

"And you said yes," James reminded her, his voice still awed by the fact.

Lily sat up then, looking James in the eyes.

"You kissed me," she reminded him.

"I did," he agreed his eyes solemn, his hand automatically going to his hair as he awaited her next words.

"We never really had a chance to talk about it, did we?" Lily asked.

"No," James replied.

The Common Room was silent for several moments as they both gathered their thoughts.

"I liked it," Lily said eventually, still holding his gaze, despite the blush that was raging on her cheeks. "A lot."

"So did I," James told her, though he thought that may have been stating the obvious, in the state of euphoria his mind had been propelled into by her words however, simple words were all he could muster. "And I'm happy to do it again whenever you want."

"I'll let you know then," Lily said with a smile, resting her head on his shoulder again.

It was several hours later that Alice, worried when she woke up and Lily wasn't in the bed next to hers, came downstairs and found Lily and James curled up on the couch by the fire, fast asleep.

* * *

As it had done previously, life at Hogwarts continued. Lessons were attended; Quidditch matches played, and exams approached as the snow slowly melted and glimpses of sunshine could occasionally be seen behind the heavy cloud cover over the Scottish hills. It hadn't taken long for Lily to throw herself back into life at Hogwarts, her determination to catch up on everything she had missed kept her mind busy and gave her something to focus on, she would have gone as far as to say that she was as close to fine as she could be, if people had stopped asking her how she was.

She knew they meant well, but the constant reminders, the pitying glances and the blatant stares were only making it more difficult for her to cope as she struggled with the reality of her new life, all the while trying to regain some level of normalcy.

And that was how she found herself in an empty classroom, crying in the arms of James Potter one rainy day in the middle of February.

Lily's tears weren't anything unusual, James found himself comforting her almost weekly, but that day, exactly a month after her parent's had passed away was particularly bad.

"I'm pathetic," Lily sniffed, whipping her eyes on a handkerchief she'd conjured. "I'm sorry I keep doing this to you."

"Don't be silly Lils," James smiled gently at her, smoothing her hair down and chucking her gently under the chin. "You know I don't mind."

"But I do," she told him.

"It's only been a month, you're allowed to be sad," he continued. "I'd be worried if you weren't."

Truthfully, James was worried regardless and he wasn't alone. Alice, the other Marauders and several of their professors had voiced their concern over Lily's state of mind. Though she was functioning, she was withdrawn and focused entirely on her studies, James couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her smile, or laugh or even lose her temper and though he was glad she was confiding in him, the pain he saw in her eyes in those moments when she was at her most vulnerable was torturous for him to look at.

"I'm not doing that great, hey?" Lily looked up at him and James swallowed audibly at the sight of her tears still glistening to her eyelashes. "I really am sorry to dump all this on you, but you're the only one that makes me feel better."

James managed another small smile and pulled her into his arms again.

"Whatever you need Lily, I'm here," he told her, his lips brushing against her hair.

She sighed gently, settling comfortably into his body, her head resting in the sensitive spot between his neck and chest. James tried not to groan aloud as his body reacted automatically to her touch. In the three weeks since Lily had returned to Hogwarts she had never taken him up on his offer for a repeat of their encounter in the broom closet the night her parents died. He supposed he shouldn't have hoped for anything more, she was suffering after all and he could hardly expect for his lips to be the first thing on her mind. But, somewhere in his free time between classes, homework, Head duties, Quidditch and worrying about Lily, James find himself wishing more than ever for her touch. Their embrace (though perhaps that wasn't the right word, he'd more or less forced her into the closet with him, though once they had started kissing, she hadn't seemed to mind), had left him desperate for more, so much so that even the innocent touch of Lily's hug sent his mind, and body, into overdrive.

She must have felt him shift underneath her, because, without breaking their embrace, she looked up, her eyes questioning.

"You okay?"

Unable to help himself, James slowly swept the hair that had fallen into her face back softly, knotting his hands in the auburn locks that had always so enchanted him.

"I like it, having you here," he squeezed her gently with the one arm still wrapped around her to demonstrate his point.

In an instant, all signs of sadness and pain disappeared from Lily's face. Her lips parted softly, her cheeks flushed and James was sure he saw a flash of desire light her soft green eyes.

"I like being here," she replied, her voice a little breathless. "Nothing helps me forget better than this."

"Just say the word," he reminded her. "Anything you want, I'm yours."

Lily nodded and then, to James's intense surprise, reached up on her tiptoes and pressed a small kiss to the hollow of his throat in an act as chaste as it was intimate.

James couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips at the touch of hers.

* * *

"She's killing me," James announced, not without some drama as he flopped onto his bed almost an hour later. "The woman's killing me and she doesn't even know it."

"I'd bet she does," Sirius told him from the other side of the room where he was idly flipping through the pages of a magazine. "I wouldn't wager your Lily's as innocent as she makes out to be."

"Sirius!"

"What?" He asked coquettishly. "I'm just saying Prongs she's got to have some idea of what she's doing to you. In my experience, all women know exactly how to taunt a man."

"And you don't?" Peter snorted through a mouthful of Liquorice Wand.

"That's because Padfoot, you go for the kind of women who like to tease. Lily isn't like that," James all but growled.

Sirius shrugged.

"She's got to have some idea; no woman is that attractive without knowing how to use it."

Unwillingly, James found himself thinking of the tears that clung to her eyelashes as she looked up at him through them, the blush of her cheeks, the way her body moulded so easily, and so frequently, to his. Perhaps Sirius was on to something.

"Even if she does know, it's still killing me," he sighed, reaching for his broomstick to polish it, an old nervous habit of his.

"What's killing Prongs?" Remus asked, as he entered the dormitory, his arms laden with books he'd just checked out from the Library.

"Evans is giving him blue balls," Sirius told him before James could answer.

"I do not have blue balls!" James exclaimed, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face. "I'm just…frustrated. Lily and I get close for one minute, and then she's gone again."

"Sounds like blue balls to me," Remus commented mildly and James gapped at his friend, he had been certain Moony would be on his side.

"It's not just that!" James exclaimed, determined to prove his point. "It's not just the…you know….physical stuff. We were _so_ close before her parents died, and now, I don't know where we stand. I told her to let me know when to kiss her, just a kiss, and nothing!"

"You're waiting for her to initiate a kiss?" Sirius snorted dismissively. "Good luck with that one mate, you'll be waiting for a long while."

James must have looked confused because Sirius meandered casually over and dropped himself down next to James on his bed.

"Have I taught you nothing mate?" He lamented theatrically. "Women don't like to initiate these things; they want you to take the lead!"

"James is trying to do the right thing and give Lily space, Sirius," Remus spoke up, lowering his copy of Advanced Transfiguration to look at them.

"Yeah but it's not really getting him anywhere is it?" Peter snorted, prompting James to throw a cushion at him.

"Thank you Wormy," Sirius said, looking pleased that somebody agreed with him, even if it was Peter, whose experience with women was limited.

"What would you suggest than Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking as if he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Shoving Lily in a broom closet and attacking her," he looked over at James, mild amusement in his eyes. "Again."

"Seemed to work pretty well for him the first time," Sirius pointed out.

James couldn't help but smirk as the room fell silent, it had worked for him last time; he remembered the whimper he had caused her to elicit, the way he had felt her body responding to his in the most delicious of ways...

A smack to the back of the head from Sirius snapped him out of his reminiscing.

"You're only making things worse for yourself mate," he told him, not without some sympathy. "I can't imagine what it'd be like to not have a woman lined up and gagging to shag you."

"You're terrible Padfoot," Remus told him.

"Thank you Moony," Sirius looked pleased.

"I do think Sirius has a point though Prongs," Remus called out, burying his head in his textbook again.

"You do?" James, Sirius and Peter all echoed in tones ranging from surprised to ecstatic.

"I do," Remus looked up again, his face amused. "You've always been the one chasing Lily, now you've turned the tables on her just when her life's been upturned. She's probably looking for some stability, something that hasn't changed. As long as you aren't to full on, she'd probably appreciate the reminder that not everything has changed."

The dormitory was silent for several minutes as the other boys absorbed what Remus had said.

"You know Moony," Sirius began conversationally, "if I hadn't seen you naked, I'd really think you were a girl sometimes." 

* * *

_Firstly, I'm sorry for the delay, I've had an amazing few weeks, but unfortunately that's left very little time for writing. I'm so apologetic for not replying to your reviews and pm's, for some reason, until today, FF wouldn't let me view them and I decided I'd rather get this chapter out, than send you you're previews and delay posting. I hope you can forgive me, and I'll definitely try to rectify it this week to any and all who review._

_My beta's, both Casey and Kait are amazing, I couldn't do this without them._

_I was at the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and ohmigod. I adored it, I won't say too much in case some of you haven't seen it (and if that's you, go now! Run, don't walk!) Let me know what you thought._

_I will definitely be posting again next week, whether the next chapter has been seen by my beta's or not, as, after that I'll be laying on a beach, on a (I think), well deserved holiday. I can't wait. _

_Finally, to all those who celebrate, happy Thanksgiving, here's hoping you eat yourself silly and don't go too crazy from the presence of your extended family. Have a safe and happy week everybody. _


	15. Chapter 15

_I'm hoping this chapter will satisfy some of the common requests I've had from my reviewers. More on that later…_

A reminder that this story continues to be rated Mature, believe me, its for a reason.

**Things I Own: ****a new polka dot bikini, a white tutu with a red lipstick stain, a truck load of sunblock and this story,**

**Things I Don't Own:**** the new Pointe shoes I need (again), Ignacio Figueras (damn) and anything you recognise from the Harry Potter universe,**

_Finally, for those of you that we're interested, and their was a surprising amount of you, my emergency chocolate bar no longer exists. Their was an emergency. I do however, intend to replace it.  


* * *

_

Chapter Fifteen

"_**The only thing that should surprise us is that there are some things that still surprise us."**_

**Francois de La Rochefoucauld**

It came as a shock to Lily, as February drew to a close; that exams were fast approaching, her time at Hogwarts was almost over, and that things outside of the castle were just as bad, if not worse, than her own headspace in which she had been so absorbed for the past almost two months. She hadn't picked up a newspaper in several weeks and had somehow been oblivious to the harried conversations that must be taking place in the corridors, as students worried about what was going on outside of the walls of the castle. Lily was shocked to discover that Death Eater attacks were occurring with a worrying regularity, not just on Muggles, but on any who chose to openly oppose the Dark Lord. Lily was left wondering how she'd been so naïve and shut off from the world as to not be aware of what was going on and silently resolved to herself that it was time to stop wallowing in her own self pity and grief.

On the morning of March the first Lily made her way to breakfast with a fixed smile on her face. She'd showered, dressed and even gone as far as to put some makeup on, not out of habit, but because she wanted to show everyone that the real Lily was back. She took her usual seat next to Alice, who didn't comment on her suddenly happier demeanour, but smiled broadly at her instead and passed a plate of toast.

The Marauder's arrived and Lily turned to greet them, taking in the momentary expressions of surprise at her happy expression, before smiling in return, obviously glad to see her cheerful again.

James however, managed to replace the smile on her face with a look of shock as he sat down beside her and squeezed her gently on her very upper thigh by way of greeting.

The silly grin that spread over her face a second after her shock passed was not forced at all.

The day passed without any other sort of unexpected contact from James, though Lily found it difficult to remind herself to smile as three of her professors assigned momentously long essays that had the Gryffindor seventh years clustered around a single table at one am in the morning, all struggling to finish the Charms paper that was due the next morning.

"Who knew someone so tiny could be so evil?" Sirius questioned, throwing his quill down with a groan as he referenced the minuscule Professor Flitwick. "I can't believe I'm actually studying."

"I can't believe he set a two foot essay overnight," Peter spoke up, looking close to tears as he measured his essay and found it two inches short. "Surely that has to be illegal."

Lily sighed, pointing her wand at the teapot in the middle of the table and refilling it, she too was still an inch short.

It was near two am before they were all finished, exhausted, frustrated and willing themselves upstairs to the comforts of their bed. Mumbled goodnights were exchanged as they packed their parchment, textbooks and quills away and began to head for their separate dormitories.

"Lils," James's tug on her arm pulled her back.

"Mmm?" She murmured tiredly.

"I just wanted a proper goodnight," his tired eyes twinkled at her audaciously and she smiled wearily. He placed his hands on her shoulders, pulling her a little closer and lowering his mouth to hers in a close-mouthed, very sweet kiss that was as chaste as it was unfamiliar. It was the kind of kiss couples gave when they had been together for many years and knew there were innumerable more kisses to come. Lily smiled lazily as James broke away from her, the same smile echoed on his face.

"Goodnight," she whispered; her head a dizzy spin of fantasies.

"Night," he dropped her a wink before they turned in opposite directions.

Lily tugged on Alice's arm as she continued to stand wide-eyed at the foot of the staircase, staring after James's retreating back; she all but pulled Alice up the stairs, shutting their dormitory door behind them.

"I think I've been Imperious-d," Alice said, her voice a little breathless. "I could have sworn I just saw James Potter kiss you goodnight, but I must have been possessed and…"

"James did kiss me goodnight Alice," Lily said, touching a hand to her lips.

"Oh Merlin," Alice breathed. "I just…James….you…what a first kiss…."

"Well…" Lily hesitated, she hadn't told Alice about the incident in the broom closet yet.

"What!" Alice screeched in a way that was very unlike her.

Lily resisted the urge to clamp her hand over her friend's mouth as she dragged her towards her bed.

"Shhh, I'll tell you,"

Alice looked on expectedly, and with a sigh, Lily launched into the story, Alice stared at her, her mouth gaping through almost the whole thing.

"Oh boy," Alice said, shakily sitting down on the closest bed. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I think I'm having a hot flash," she fanned herself with her hand uselessly.

"James Potter…broom closet, oh boy."

Lily couldn't help herself; a small giggle escaped her throat.

"Tell me about it."

* * *

Lily hadn't anticipated the ease with which she fell back into happiness at Hogwarts when she allowed herself to discontinue her dwelling on the past, and her worries for the future. As so many had promised her the pain of losing her parents continued to fade, and though she thought about it and them often, especially as she lay in bed at night or in the early hours of the morning before she had to rise, she found it easier every day to smile, laugh and enjoy her last few months at Hogwarts.

Though some might argue that the severe increase in the amount of study required to keep afloat during those last few months of her N.E.W.T year was what had distracted Lily sufficiently from her grief, most at Hogwarts, seemed to think that it was a certain Gryffindor Chaser and Head Boy that was proving to be Lily's main distraction.

The inhabitants of Hogwarts castle watched their Head students with varying degrees of interest, sorrow and a desperate desire to know what was going on. The ripple of shock that echoed around the Great Hall at breakfast every time they greeted each other with a chaste kiss never failed to make their friends laugh, or Lily blush. The glares of James Potter's many female admirers constantly infuriated the Head Girl, and the sudden wide berth Caradoc Dearborn seemed to give Lily Evans, alongside the frightened squeak he emitted whenever he found himself in the same room as the Head Boy entertained any who happened to witness it.

James was still unsure as to just what was considered acceptable in his budding relationship with Lily and what would send her running from him with a slap on his cheek. The tentative kisses she gave him occasionally and permitted him to bestow on her did nothing to alleviate the build up of sexual tension within him aching to be released, but they did however, make him very happy and have him wondering why he hadn't thought to clean his act up years earlier.

It was the night of the full moon in April and Lily and James were slowly making their way back from the greenhouses after Herbology at the end of their day. They were silent, neither of them feeling the need to talk as they walked close together back towards the castle.

"You look tired," James told her, pulling her to a halt underneath the shade of a huge oak and holding her at arms length.

"I haven't been sleeping well," she admitted to him, wrapping her fingers around the hard musculature of his forearms and secretly marvelling in the wonderful feeling of his soft skin and warmth.

"We've been going to bed past one every night," he told her, his fingers gently caressing her arms. "It's to be expected I suppose."

"I think a lot when I go to bed," she told him, almost humming with the pleasure of the patterns his fingers were tracing on her skin. "During the day I'm fine, I've got plenty of things to distract me, but at night, when it's quiet and I'm alone…"

She was instantly crushed against his chest, his lips whispering softly against her hair.

"You should have told me," he said gently. "I could've helped."

"Theirs no point both of us not sleeping," she shrugged.

"I wasn't suggesting that," he pulled back a little as he grinned at her. "I was actually thinking that if you couldn't sleep, you'd be very welcome to come and get into my bed."

Lily could barely muffle the gasp that escaped her throat as he said that. Their relationship was in a period of uncertainty as far as her thoughts went. They were being careful with each other, bidding their time, stepping around each other hesitantly and creating a stir throughout the school as to whether they were actually together or not. James's words seemed very at odd with their unspoken agreement that things between them were, so far, moving very slowly.

"I don't mean anything by it Lils," James told her, with a ghost of a laugh. "I just mean, come up, stay in my bed for the night. It might help."

"Won't the others care?" Lily asked; thinking of the stir she'd cause wondering into the seventh year boy's dormitory in the early hours of the morning.

"Sirius sneaks girls up all the time," James laughed. "And they know you, and they'll know why you're there and truthfully Lils, I think they'd be glad to have you."

"I might just do that," Lily smiled at him, trying to convey with her expression just how much his offer meant to her.

James smiled in return, before he was suddenly struck cold with panic, as he remembered that night was a full moon, and he had his friends would be escorting Remus around the village that evening in his werewolf form, not that that was something he could explain to Lily.

"You, erh, might not want to do that tonight though," he said, flinching as he watched her happy expression fall. "Moony's ill that's all, I wouldn't want you to catch anything."

Her expression narrowed as she looked at him.

"Remus is ill," she echoed.

"Yeah, haven't you noticed he wasn't in classes today," James blurted in panic, his mind and heart racing as he cursed Lily's intellect, she was on to something, he could tell from the way he suddenly felt the desire to run.

"Well I hope he feels better," she said eventually, stepping away from James a little and though it seemed as if she was letting go of her suspicions, experience told James she wasn't about to forget it in a hurry. "Come on, we better get to the Library to look for that Herbology book before someone else takes it."

He fell into step beside her, thinking it was likely that he hadn't heard the last of it.

* * *

James was the last of the Marauders to leave their dormitory that night. It was almost midnight before he went to sneak downstairs, anxious about how Sirius was getting along without him, knowing that it usually took both of them to fully contain Remus when he was in his wolf form. He'd felt bad saying goodnight to Lily and knowing that he couldn't help her that night, but at the same time, Remus's need was greater than hers at that moment.

He reached the foot of the staircase, relief flooding through him when he saw that it was empty. His relief quickly disappeared however, when a flash of wand light was reflected onto his face.

Lily.

"Don't do this James," she whispered, crossing the room and taking his hands in hers. "Please, it's too dangerous."

Her words took him by surprise; they were not the angry retort, nor the lecture he had been expecting, his brain raced ahead of the situation, trying to decipher her meaning.

"What's dangerous Lily?" He asked, trying to remain calm as his eyes twitched towards the portrait hole and the amount of time that had gone by with only Sirius keeping tabs on Remus adding up in his mind.

"I know you think you're helping your friend James and I wish I could help Remus as well, but he's dangerous when he's like this and I can't let anything happen to you. Please, James, go back to bed."

"Lily, what are you talking about?" James asked, his heart thudding audibly in his ears as he began to panic in response to her words.

"You're really going to make me say it James?" She sighed. "Fine, I know Remus is a werewolf. And I know you're going after him and you can't! It's dangerous."

"You know?" He echoed; his eyes bugging out of his head. "For how long?"

"Since fifth year, when we were Prefects together," Lily told him, frustrated that he wouldn't respond to the issue at hand.

"And you're not afraid of him?" James asked, searching her face for any sign of fright.

"Of course not, he's just Remus," Lily almost laughed, before James lifted her bodily off the ground and crushed her into his body.

"You constantly surprise me with just how marvellous you are Lily Evans," he told her. "And I swear, I'm not in any danger, but I really have to go."

"James you've always had a warped sense of what's dangerous," Lily told him exasperatedly. "I care about Remus as well, but what if something happens? He'd feel terrible!"

James looked at the clock over the mantle; time was disappearing in front of his eyes.

"Please Lily, I swear to you, chaser's honour, that I am not in any danger," he said desperately, taking her face between his hands and forcing her to meet his gaze. "I'll explain it all, tomorrow night, but please, trust me for now. I can't lie to you, I am not in danger."

"You'll explain tomorrow?" Lily questioned.

"I swear," James said rashly.

And though it killed her to let him go, she stepped back and nodded, biting down into her lip to keep from making him stay.

"Be safe," she whispered.

It was only then James realised that Lily wasn't making this difficult for him because of her stubborn and headstrong nature, but because she was concerned about him.

He immediately felt terrible.

"Hey," he whispered, tilting her chin up to meet her gaze again. "Please don't worry, I've finally got lucky enough to have you, I'm not going to throw that away. I'll see you in the morning." And then, because he was unable to help himself, he lowered his lips to hers and gave her a passion filled kiss, before he tore himself away from her and out of the Common Room to meet his friends in the grounds of Hogwarts.

**

* * *

  
**

The next day seemed to stretch endlessly to Lily. Each class seemed twice as long as usual as she stared over at James, wondering what he was going to confess to her that night. Her relief at seeing him at breakfast the next morning had taken even her by surprise, and she had barely been able to contain the desire to throw her arms around him and kiss his exhausted looking face.

"Hey Lils," he'd greeted her wearily, wrapping an arm around her. Overcome by his scent she'd burrowed her head into his shoulder and breathed deeply, ensuring that she missed that Sirius and Peter seemed just as tired as James.

The day had dragged, time moving slowly as Lily battled with her anticipation of what James was planning on revealing to her. He caught up with her after dinner, as she headed for the Library to study for Charms, he bent down until his head was at her ear and whispered, his breath tickling her neck –

"You ought to dress warmly for rounds tonight," before pressing a feather light kiss to the nape of her neck and running after Peter.

Alice standing beside her fanned her face with her hand as she had become wont to do.

Half an hour before they were due to start rounds, Lily abandoned her study in favour of getting changed out of her school robes. Heeding James's advice, she donned jeans, boots and a puffed jacket, taking her hair out of the more sensible braid she'd worn it in all day.

As she waited for James outside the Heads Common Room, Lily felt herself become almost sick with expectation as she suppressed the urge to chew her nails, something she had not done since she was twelve. She was completely nonplussed as to what he was going to let her in on, but he had seemed so earnestly desperate and honest the night before that she had felt compelled to agree with him.

It was a few minutes before ten when he turned up, dressed in a similar style to her. He smiled as they drew near each other and began to walk.

"I've arranged for the 'Puffs to take duty for us," James told her as they made their way through the castle.

She looked up at him, startled.

"We're not doing duty?" She asked.

He shook his head, smiling, if not a little nervously, at her confused expression.

"I have something to show you remember?"

Lily nodded and the pair lapsed into silence, both seeming rather nervous about what was to come. Lily's mind raced as she wondered what was about to happed, she stopped dead however, as James pulled her into a little alcove, just off the Entrance Hall.

"We'll need this," he said, pulling his Invisibility Cloak out from under his jacket and pulling her close in order to throw it over the both of them. There was such a difference in their heights that Lily was sure an errant limb must be showing.

"Why? Where are we going?" She asked in an urgent whisper.

"Outside," he responded vaguely, pushing her forward into the Entrance Hall.

Lily knew better than to protest in the Entrance Hall where she might be heard, but as they wound their way down towards the Forbidden Forrest and James pulled the cloak off them, she began to voice her disapproval.

"James, where are we going? What happens if we get caught out of bounds? I thought you were going to show me something…"

"I am, Lily," he told her, as they reached the boundary of the forest. "But first we need to talk."

Lily nodded, looking at him expectantly.

"Are you warm enough? Comfortable?" James seemed to be delaying their impending conversation.

Lily took his hand.

"I'm fine James, please, the suspense is painful."

"So you know about Remus," he started, running a hand through his much abused hair. "I should have known you would figure it out. We figured it out in our second year, Sirius, Pete and I. Remus could only make so many excuses for his absence every full moon, and like you, we put it together. We hated watching our friend struggle like he did, he was suffering and we couldn't do anything about it. He'd come back, covered in wounds and scratches because he had nothing to bite, he was biting himself," James swallowed against the bile that had risen in his throat at the old memory. "So we started researching ways that we might be able to help him."

Lily gasped, she couldn't help herself. She had always known the Marauder's were fiercely loyal to each other, but she had never imagined that, as twelve year olds, three of them had spent their spare time researching ways to help the other with his lycanthropy.

James smiled a small smile at her.

"We were young and stupid, we thought we were invincible, we had no regard for the rules, you know that better than anyone. It was dangerous and irresponsible, but I can't regret it, not when I've seen how much it's helped Remus."

"What are you talking about James?" Lily questioned, squeezing his hand a little tighter in an act of silent reassurance.

Despite her grip on him, James took a step backwards; putting a gap between them, and when he spoke, his voice was strained.

"No matter what happens next, no matter what you think, I need you to promise me that you won't go anywhere without me, you could….get lost if you leave on your own."

"James…" Lily began.

"Just promise me Lily."

"Alright, I promise."

James nodded in response to her words and took a deep steadying breath.

Lily would never forget the next moment for the rest of her life.

Before her eyes, the shape of James Potter suddenly lost focus, changing, shifting, with a startling grace until standing in front of her, pawing nervously at the ground in the exact spot that James had been standing was a stag.

Lily sank back against the tree she was standing in front of, her breath coming out in short; sharp bursts as she tried to process what she had just seen.

James was in front of her again in another smooth transformation; his hands on her arms, pulling her into his chest as he made soothing noises. After a moment, she pulled back to stare at him.

"You're….you're an…Animagus!" She gasped at him and he nodded, somewhat sheepishly. Unable to help herself, Lily began to pound him on the chest with closed fists.

"No wonder you're so bloody good at Transfigurations!" She exclaimed, still pummelling him with her fists.

"That's your reaction?" He asked incredulously. "You find out I can turn into a stag, and you talk about school work?"

"A stag," Lily echoed a little breathlessly, her fists ceasing. "Wow. Wow. I just….wow. You can be around Remus like this, when he's a werewolf."

"We all can," James told her.

"What are the others?" She breathed.

"Sirius is a dog, a big one. Pete's a rat."

Lily's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open as she mouthed the words,

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs."

They lapsed into silence as Lily tried to process this new and unexpected information.

"Can you transform again?" She whispered to him eventually.

James nodded, taking a few steps backwards before once again morphing into the huge stag in front of her. The stag was so beautiful and Lily was so overwhelmed that James had chosen to share with her such a huge secret that tears unexpectedly swam in her eyes.

As if in response, the stag, James, took a hesitant step forward, exactly as he would have as a human. Lily closed the distance between them, raising her hand slowly to pet the neck of the creature. She stared in surprise into the eyes of the stag, and saw James mirrored back at her, the same intelligence; the same love she saw whenever she looked at him. His neck was soft, his scent woody and startlingly familiar and she felt his small exhale of a pleasured breath as she traced patterns on the coarse fur under his neck.

James lowered his front hooves, almost as if he was bowing to her, his head and eyes travelling up to his back and with a gasp, Lily realised what he was indicating to her. Hesitantly, being very careful not to hurt him, she draped herself over the back of him, holding tightly around his neck, enjoying the feeling of warmth emanating from him. James hummed in pleasure at their closeness, reaching around to brush his nose against her arm, before he took off, galloping through the forest at a speed that should have terrified her, but exhilarated her instead.

"You're so fast James!" She managed to gasp out, above the wind roaring in her ears.

She was almost sure she heard what could be considered the equivalent of a stag's laugh.

And somewhere that night, between exploring the forest on the back of a stag and falling into her bed many hours later, Lily made a decision. If James could trust her with his most intimate secrets, it was only fair she share herself with him in the same way.

* * *

_As those of you who have reviewed will know, this is my last opportunity to post for about a fortnight, I'm going out of the country for a beach holiday as of Monday, and won't be able to update until I get back. Because of this, I'm also unwilling to promise previews of Chapter Sixteen to those of you that review, but I'll do my best to get a sneak peak out to you all._

_I've had several requests to include things such as Lily and James's birthday's. I'm aware that I've skipped over Lily's and I intend to do the same with James's. As I'm racing through the year in less than twenty chapters, as much as I'd like to, their just isn't the time to focus on them. At the conclusion of the story, I intend to post some outtakes of things I've left out, birthday's included._

_Also, many of you have commented on the length of time its taken for James and Lily to get together. I did warn you, I like a slow burn. As indicated by the final line of this chapter however, I'm sure you can all see things heating up._

_Finally (phew), thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter. Have a safe and happy few weeks until I get back. SC. _


	16. Chapter 16

**An Author's Note at the beginning of the chapter for something different. I don't want to keep you from reading. I'll just thank all of you for your amazing support, I appreciate you all more than words can convey, please think of this as my Christmas gift to you all. **

**Special thanks to the usual suspects, Kait and Casey and, most particularly to two very loyal readers who offered to read over this chapter and offer their insights on it, .Adorable and YodiggityDog. Your comments and words have encouragement have been invaluable, **_**thank you. **_

**This is the last chapter that has been completed, beta approved and preread. Chapter Seventeen is still in its rawest form. Because of this I cannot guarantee when I will next update, I am no longer willing to sacrifice quality writing for getting an update out. I hope to keep you waiting no longer than a fortnight, and, as always, a preview will be sent to all those who review.**

**A final reminder that I own nothing except this story and quite a few emergency chocolate bars for the holidays. Enjoy….**

**

* * *

  
**

Sixteen

"_Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." – Rumi_

Exams were suddenly six weeks away, and the level of tension amongst the seventh years' was at a fever pitch. Breakdowns, both in and out of class, had become a regular occurrence, and sleep had become an optional commodity. For even the most kind and understanding seventh years' to snap at a younger student was not unusual, and those that were not usually kind or understanding were suddenly being compared to the Dark Lord.

Lily was far from immune to the stress that was sweeping her year level. Her normally organised nature had been shot to pieces by her frazzled nerves as she struggled to get everything done; meals were eaten over text books, breaks consisted of trying to squeeze as much work in as possible in the short amount of time. Even patrol duty at night was spent with her and James quizzing each other on whichever topic they had agreed on for that night.

The concept of free time had completely evaporated, and so had Lily's ability to rid her mind of the memories that had so depressed her only a few weeks before. Without the time to relax, to find the comfort she had previously found in James, Lily found herself, like many of her classmates, quickly heading towards a breakdown.

Their last ever Hogsmeade weekend approached and Lily felt compelled to make her excuses to James. "Do you mind if we don't go?" She'd pleaded with him on the Friday before the trip was scheduled. "I know I said yes, but I'm only halfway through the Charms preparation…"

James had been expecting this conversation. He too hadn't completed the Charms work that was due in the middle of next week. He knew it made no sense for them to take the day off to explore the village they'd both been to so many times before, but it didn't stop him from being just a little disappointed. Finally, finally, after years of trying she'd agreed to see the village with him, and now it just wasn't possible. Sensible as it was to cancel their trip, it still made him a little heartsore.

When Alice Pengrave was taken shaking and sobbing out of her Ancient Runes class, everybody was rather surprised by how kindly Professor McGonagall was to her, in granting her permission to stay in Hogsmeade on Sunday night – for some much needed time away from the castle.

Lily wasn't sure which was more shocking: strong, independent and tough Alice letting the stress affect her, or Professor McGonagall suggesting that what she might need for her nerves was a night alone with her boyfriend.

Alice was suddenly light as air, whistling as she packed for her night away. Lily sat on the bed opposite her, also putting together a bag.

"Where are you going?" Alice stopped packing to turn to Lily, curiosity evident on her features.

"I thought I'd go stay in the Head's Dorm tonight, considering you're not going to be here. It's quieter there, so I should be able to get more done."

"You should invite James to stay as well," Alice suggested slyly, turning her face back to her packing to hide her expression from Lily.

"That would kind of defeat the purpose of _quiet _wouldn't it?" Lily replied flippantly, pretending to be ignorant of Alice's meaning.

Her friend's exasperated sigh let Lily know that Alice thought her quite difficult.

Early the next morning the two friends walked down to breakfast together, before parting in the Entrance Hall.

"Have fun," Lily told Alice, embracing her friend gently.

"I will," Alice was so ecstatic at the prospect of a weekend without study and with Frank that she was practically levitating. "Don't study too hard."

"I will," Lily replied with a laugh; hefting her heavy bag full of clothes and books back over her shoulder. The girls said their final goodbye and Alice all but ran out of the castle as Lily made her way up the stairs towards the Heads' dormitory.

The Common Room was warm and comfortable, a small fire already lit in the hearth provided both light and heat, and Lily got more work done than even she could have anticipated. She worked straight through the day, happy with her progress and feeling more relaxed than she had been in weeks as she went down to dinner.

"Where've you been all afternoon?" James asked as she sat opposite him and immediately reached for a bowl of stew.

"I'm staying in the Heads' dorms tonight; I've been in the Common Room studying all afternoon. It's quieter there."

"That's not a bad idea," James allowed, looking thoughtful as he straightened his spectacles. "Would you mind if I did the same?"

"Only if your friends won't miss you," Lily grinned in the direction of the other Marauder's, all stuffing their faces with food.

"Take him," Sirius snorted, talking through a mouthful of potato and gesturing wildly with a chicken leg. "He snores anyway."

"I do not snore!" James threw a dinner roll at his friend. "Besides, I doubt Lily will be able to hear me from the girls' dormitory."

Lily smiled a little. She had yet to take James up on his offer of sharing his bed if she couldn't sleep. Their school work had increased so exponentially that whenever she eventually fell into bed, she was too exhausted to do anything except sleep. Even thinking about anything aside from school work was a rarity.

"What's the point of having an entire tower of the castle to yourselves if you're not going to make use of it?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows at the pair.

"Well, if I'm in the Head's dorm, I'm nowhere near you…" James said with mock sincerity, ducking as a fork was levitated through the air and shot towards him.

Lily was preparing to meet James for patrol later that evening when she heard the familiar tapping that indicated an owl required entrance. She opened the window and stood back to allow Helene to fly in and settle on her outstretched arm. Lily pet the owl for a second, and fished a treat for her out of the bottom of her bag before unburdening her of her post.

Her heart sunk as she took in what she was reading from her parent's solicitors; a notice of the division of assets and an enclosed cheque. She should have been glad, she knew, she had money now – enough to support herself until she started working; but the reality that everything her parents had worked for had been sold and divided between her and Petunia was devastating to Lily.

James came through the portrait hole only moments after Lily managed to dry her eyes and send Helene back to the Owlery. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder, and after quickly depositing it in his room for the night, they began their patrol.

James was not unaware of Lily's distraction as they patrolled the castle for two hours in near silence, and it was so at odds with her happy demeanour at dinner that he was left wondering what on Earth could have happened to make her so unhappy. The bags under her eyes indicated she hadn't been getting enough sleep, but, really, no seventh year, perhaps with the exception of Sirius, had been able to sleep lately. Her distraction concerned him, but he had no idea what he could do to make her happier.

All the while James was pondering her distraction, Lily was formulating a plan; a plan that she intended to put into action as soon as they returned to the Heads Common Room, and a plan that she would have never thought herself capable of until a few months ago.

They returned to their private Common Room just after midnight, and James was determined to find out what had made Lily so unhappy. They had barely climbed through the portrait hole however, when she turned to him, barely meeting his eyes.

"I'm curious as to what the Head Boy's Dorm looks like, could we go up?" She asked in a quiet tone of voice.

There was something off with her voice, something James couldn't place, but desperate to make her happy he nodded and held the door open for her, proceeding up behind her and letting the door swing shut behind him.

Lily paused momentarily in the centre of the room, taking everything in. Truthfully, it was identical to the Head Girl's Dorm; huge four poster bed, adorned in Gryffindor colours in honour of the house they both hailed from, a huge fireplace roared opposite the bed, James's backpack placed next to it. Doing her best not to hesitate, Lily walked over to the bed, running her hand along the smooth wood of the post, her valour almost failing her as she heard James's footfalls behind her.

"I like your bed," she told him, turning to meet his eyes and seeing only concern and confusion looking back at her.

"You look tired, Lils," he told her, running one of his large hands down her cheek, cupping it gently in his palm.

Two tears seeped out of Lily's eyes and she nodded, biting her lip.

As always, James took her in his arms, preparing to hold her until she calmed down, as he usually did when his Lily cried.

He had never been more unprepared for anything in his life than he was for what happened next.

Lily launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crashing her mouth against his. James staggered backwards, wrapping his arms around her to keep himself anchored, gasping against Lily's mouth as she pressed her body tightly against his. He reacted automatically, just as she had done in the broom closet all those months ago. Kissing her back, he was surprised by the intensity of the kisses she bestowed on him as her mouth opened and her tongue begged for entrance, her teeth nibbling lightly on his lower lip. Lily's hands were in his hair, tugging harshly, pulling him closer to her as she moaned throatily against his embrace.

Her actions propelled him onwards, robbing his mind of everything except the intense and all-consuming desire he felt for her, and allowed his hands to roam her body freely as hers did the same to him. He groaned against her mouth as she brushed her hands over the crotch of his jeans. Despite all the moments they had come close that year, he had never wanted her, or desired her as badly as he did in that moment.

But when her hands reached for the button of his jeans, he froze against her.

"Lily," he gasped, breaking his lips from her neck and pushing her back a little. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" She asked seductively, her hands grabbing for the fly of his jeans and managing to get it unzipped.

"Don't," he told her, stepping backwards and trying to keep his brain in control of the situation.

And then, without warning, Lily's eyes swam with tears again.

"Shit," James whispered, stepping towards her. "I'm sorry Lily; I didn't want to upset you…"

"You don't understand, James," she told him, her voice breaking with the tears that choked her throat. "You make me feel better…you're the only one. You make me forget. Being in your arms…it makes me forget."

"I can't Lily! I won't sleep with you; I can't take your virginity like this, it's not right Lily. When I do make love to you, I want it to be for a reason, I want to show you how I feel about you. Please Lily, I'll give you anything, but don't ask that of me," he pleaded desperately.

"You're the only one that's left to love me," she told him, looking up at him through her eyelashes with tears clinging to them. "Everyone else is gone, I've got nothing, nobody, no future, except for you. I need you to love me."

"I do love you, my darling," James whispered agonised. "I love you more than I can ever say." He had never once imagined telling Lily how he felt about her while she was sobbing in his arms and begging him to take her to bed.

"Then show me James," she begged. "Love me, I know you do. Please prove it to me. I need to know there's somebody left to love me. I need to feel you…I need you."

Her desperate desire and her heartbreaking declaration that she had nobody to love and nobody that loved her broke James. He loved her desperately, and he would show her just how much if that was what she wanted…needed. He'd never been able to resist Lily Evans anything. James surrendered his lips to hers without hesitation, groaning.

She gasped against his mouth, before her lips responded and began moving feverishly against his. Her head fell back as his mouth moved hungrily down her throat, trying to pour out all the frustration and tension he felt about what they were about to do in what would be their foreplay.

Her hands found his hair again, tugging harshly and eagerly as his lips continued on their exploration, down over her collar bones and towards the fleshy curve of her breast. Her answering and breathless whimper caused James to growl low in his chest as their lips crashed together once more, moving with an increased desperation and intensity. James broke away, breathing heavily as he crushed Lily to his chest, trying to collect himself. If they had continued the way they were going, the entire thing would have been over within minutes.

For one terrifying moment, Lily was sure James had changed his mind. When his breathing became slow and measured, and their eyes met again, the passion she saw staring back at her from the hazel depths that were James's eyes convinced her that he hadn't at all changed his mind, in the same way that it took her breath away.

He ran the back of his hand slowly down her cheek, and a ripple of desire spread through her. His hands continued, down the side of the throat, across her collarbones and down over the shadow of her breast, coming to rest on her waist.

The need she had for him now was different from the desperate passion she'd felt before. It was slower, but at the same time it was deeper, and all consuming. Every nerve in her body ached for James's touch and her mind could focus on nothing else, except the sheer pleasure of the patterns his fingers were tracing on her ribcage, and the look of deep longing and worship in his eyes.

Which, after all, was exactly what she'd been hoping for.

"Are you sure?" He asked her, his voice husky, his fingers digging lightly into her skin.

"I'm doing this for the right reasons James, trust me," she replied, the corners of her mouth lifting a little.

His answering smile smouldered so much that she shivered in his embrace; hope growing in her stomach, along with something else, something Lily was unaccustomed to feeling, desire perhaps. His lips met hers again, probing softly, tenderly, causing her to exhale in a rush, her head spinning with the restrained intensity of his kisses. He guided her gently down onto the bed that she had admired, covering her body with the weight of his; despite the way he balanced himself on his elbows. He was close, very close. She could feel every inch of his body pressed deliciously against hers, the passion of his kisses not allowing her to focus on anything at all, except the exquisite sensations he was creating in her.

His left hand cupped the side of her face, stroking her hair with which he had always been so enamoured, before tracing lightly down her neck, over her shoulder, down her side and coming to rest on her hip.

His hands gently exposed her stomach, pushing upwards on the green sweater she was wearing, his mouth leaving feather light kisses everywhere his hands ventured. Lily's breathing turned shallow as his hands grazed the underside of her bra and he suddenly pulled her upwards with one hand, the other expertly removing her jumper, leaving her clad only in her pale blue demi-bra. She tried to concentrate on breathing as his lips caressed her throat, moving down, towards the swell of her breasts, taking any self-control and semblance of logic she had with it. She tugged wantonly at his t-shirt, pulling it over his head and examining his beautifully bare chest. The sculpted muscles moving with his every motion sent a shudder of desire through her that was so fierce Lily forgot she had never done what they were about to do before.

She wanted him. His lips felt amazing, and that was all she knew.

James' mouth moved downwards, towards her hips once again. He began slowly toying with the button of his jeans while his tongue tracing the line on the edge of her underwear. She became sure he was trying to kill her with the sheer pleasure he was provoking in her.

Unable to control herself anymore, she whimpered his name.

Her jeans were off in a flash, and he was covering her with his body again, looking her seriously in the eye, his hazel depths clouded with lust and brimming with love.

"I am going to worship you with my body, Lily Evans," he told her, his voice husky as he enjoyed taking in her wide-eyed expression of surprise at his words. "I am going to prove to you that you are loved. Nobody will ever love you the way I love you."

Their lips met again and they both gasped against each other, tugging harshly at each other's hair; reigniting the same passion they had felt minutes earlier. There was nothing careful, or controlled, about the way they clawed at each other. Need, sheer animalistic need, overtook their every sensibility as they began to act only on instinct, their bodies slapping against one another as they ground together, trying to put as little distance as possible between their half-naked bodies.

Lily could feel James's erection pressing against her through his open jeans, and some small part of her mind told her she out to be worried. How would that huge thing throbbing against her thigh ever fit inside of her? Her body, however, screamed at her to silence the questioning voice in her head. They belonged together; surely they would fit together. What he was doing wouldn't feel _so _good if it wasn't meant to happen.

James's mouth suddenly disappeared from her, and her body immediately missed his presence; he hadn't gone far however, as he hovered over her, trying to remain serious as he offered her one final out –

"If you're going to change your mind Lily, it has to be now. I'm not going to be able to stop myself soon…" he all but growled, his voice heavy with the lust that was keeping him grinding against her even as he spoke.

"I'm not going to change my mind James," she reassured him, running her hand around to the base of his neck and pulling him back down to her lips again. "I want you James, so much."

He growled into her mouth and in one swift, practiced movement his jeans were off; only three scraps of material now separating their sweat-sheathed bodies.

With a deliberate slowness, James reached around to Lily's back, his teeth grazing her throat before moving on to her earlobe as he undid her bra, tossing it aside, his member aching to take in a sight he had so long dreamed about. Instead, he moved downwards, dragging his lips along her body, paying particular attention to her now exposed breasts as he slowly inched her matching knickers off her body.

Now fully naked, Lily waited for the expected embarrassment to overtake her as his eyes swept over her body. She knew she wasn't perfect, but the awed gaze of James was almost enough to convince her otherwise as he drank in the sight of her.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life," his husky voice told her as he ran a reverent hand over her never before seen flesh. "Your mere existence is proof that somewhere, God must exist," James added, not caring how cheesy he sounded, unable to share his feelings with any other statement.

In another time, Lily would have been surprised by the Muggle like nature of James's comment, but, as he removed his briefs and stood fully naked before her, all thoughts of anything except his fully erect penis standing at attention _for her_, fled from her mind. She tried to speak, to convey how beautiful she found him, how unusually proud she was that she could have that effect on him, but her desire robbed her of her voice. Instead, she held out her hand to him.

"Come to me, James," she whispered throatily.

He covered her body with his, running a revering hand down the side of her body, reaching her knee and hitching it gently over his hip. Their lips met again, moving in unfamiliar ways against the other, they had never kissed like this before, until James was breathing raggedly and Lily wasn't breathing at all.

James positioned himself and looked deep into her lust clouded eyes as he tried to steel himself for the moment he had dreamt of for as long as he could remember. His right hand settled in her hair and he balanced on his left elbow, trying to restrain himself from acting on instinct and thrusting wildly into her as he so desperately wanted.

"Breathe, Lily," James reminded her and as she inhaled. Her eyes fixed on his as he inched ever so slowly inside of her.

She gasped and he groaned, putting a steadying hand to her hip to keep her from moving.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured, kissing her face gently and resisting the urge to move. James had felt her skin break and he hated that he had done that to her. A small instinctual part of his brain revelled in it though. _He was her first._

"It's okay," Lily replied, finally looking up at him. Her eyes were wide and her mouth formed into the faintest trace of a smile that anybody other than James would have missed. "It's not…like I thought it would be…it hurts but…it's worth it. Please, move," she whispered, staring into his hazel eyes in the hopes of providing him with the encouragement she felt he required.

Lily was suddenly overwhelmed with an influx of feeling as James began to rock with painstaking slowness in and out of her. Their lips gently caressing each other's, his hands tangled in her hair. Instinctually, she began to move with him. It wasn't because the pain was gone, but because the other feelings were so overpowering that she could ignore the strong ache. Her hands then reached around to his back, tracing the contours of his muscles as she pushed her hips upwards to better meet his.

James groaned against her movement, increasing his pace and almost losing control of himself as a whimper escaped the confines of Lily's throat. Their mouths moved urgently against one another, her hands clawing at his hair, and his desperately rubbing at her breasts. The crackling of the lit fire drowned out most sound, save for the rustling of the sheets, the sound of skin slapping together and the muffled groans and cries of ecstasy as two young adults feverishly pushed each other towards their brinks.

Neither could drag their eyes away from the other's, save for the moments when James would bow his head to kiss her, simply because he couldn't resist any longer.

Lily's cries filled with delight urged him on. His own groans followed hers and their eyes mimicked their pleasured moans, communicating just as effectively, in an inaudible fashion, the joy they were giving each other. Some small part of James's mind was conscious that never in his life had he seen anything as beautiful as Lily Evans, naked and writhing underneath him, begging for more and urging him faster and deeper with each of her unintentional admissions of gratification.

He watched, trying to hold back his own satisfaction, as Lily's eyes widened. Her pink lips formed a perfect _O _as she felt herself coil tightly around James. Suddenly, she exploded in a rush of pleasure and satisfaction so intense that she was sure she would never be the same again.

"James!" Lily cried before she fell into a blissful oblivion.

That was all it took for James to lose it completely. With one final thrust he came undone, spilling over inside of her as he choked out –

"Lily, oh, God, I love you! Oh, Lily…!" He collapsed on top of her, both of them panting harshly, and struggling to breathe. Wary of crushing her, James rolled off of her onto his back, tucking her into his side and placing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Neither of them spoke for several long minutes.

Lily was vaguely aware that her mind should have been in overdrive. She knew she should have been thinking about her actions, what had just happened, what it all meant. None of those thoughts entered her mind. All Lily could think of was how _right _it felt to be in James's arms and how immensely safe, secure and loved she felt wrapped together with him as she was.

"That was amazing, James," she said eventually, her voice still a little hoarse. "I don't know how to thank you," the red head added.

She could tell he was laughing from the rumbling in his chest under her head.

"Only you would _thank _me Lily," he pressed another soft kiss to her forehead. "I should be thanking you."

Lily couldn't help but smile at James's words, as his fingers trailed lightly up and down her back. "I supposed we should talk about this," James suggested and Lily's smile widened at the hesitance in his tone of his tone.

"Do we have to?" She asked, shifting comfortably in his arms. "Can't we just be happy as we are?" Did every action need to be discussed? Must a decision be reached regarding all things? Lily wanted to bask in the simplicity that was happiness, for the time being.

"Are you?" James asked. "Happy?"

"I've never felt better than I do right now," Lily stated honestly.

James couldn't help himself; he kissed her again.

Several breathless minutes later they broke away from each other.

"I have a lot to tell you," Lily whispered, her hands stroking his face.

"It can wait," James told her, running his hand through her thick tresses. "Just sleep now, we can talk as much as you want in the morning."

She whispered another word of thanks, and her eyes slowly fluttered shut. James lay awake long after Lily had succumbed to sleep, listening to her gentle, even breathing. Was it possible to be happier than he was in that moment?

* * *

_Cigarette anyone? _

_All I can say is that I certainly hope I've lived up to your expectations, while adding a sincere wish for you all to have a very safe and happy holiday, however you chose to celebrate. Personally, I'll be running between families and eating far too much. I'd love to have some encouraging reviews to read when I've locked myself in a bathroom, because if I spend another minute in my families company, facing questions about my choice of degree, the appropriate nature of either of my jobs or when I'll be getting married, I'll go postal. Gotta love the holidays, I'd love to hear you're plans for the day. Merry Christmas my lovelies, SC. _


	17. Chapter 17

Yes, this chapter is short. It wasn't what I originally had planned for it, which means that Fait Accompli is actually now going to be a chapter longer than originally anticipated. I hope this makes up for the lack of length here.

Special thanks to Casey, Kait, Kymmie and Briton, you're all amazing and I couldn't do this without you.

A reminder that I own rather a lot of chocolate, a limited edition copy of the Deathly Hallows (thankyou very much Santa) and this story, but not the original characters and settings, Ms. Rowling claims those, as well as a rather large bank balance.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen – Epiphanies

"_A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."_

Ingrid Bergman

* * *

Lily knew she should have been terrified or at least somewhat confused when she woke up in an unfamiliar room, stark naked. But the second her awareness flooded back to her, she knew exactly where she was, waking up in the arms of the still sleeping James Potter. She couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face as she moved a little closer into the arms of her lover, and the events of the night before intruded her consciousness. As she moved closer to him, his grip on her waist tightened, though he was still slumbering, as if recognising her even in his sleep and unthinkingly, she pressed a small kiss to the underside of his collarbone, settling back in his arms to think.

Their was none of the confusion or regret that Lily had expected she would be feeling the next morning, as she had made her plans the night before. Perhaps because James had been amazingly sweet to her…because he had confessed he loved her and told her that she was beautiful in such a sincere and earnest fashion that she couldn't doubt that he was telling the truth…because he had held her close all night.

Or perhaps it was because she loved him.

Lily gasped. The thought had entered her mind completely unbidden, she was not conscious of its ever being present in her mind before, or choosing to think it now. But it was there, and her mind raced ahead of her, comprehending things she had never before thought of. The night her parents had died she had begun to think about the very real possibility of a relationship with James, at that time she had been in favour of a tentative beginning, a slow courtship, as she and James got to know each other, as they started their relationship again.

As she lay naked in his arms she realised that to start everything again, was the very last thing they needed.

Because they knew one another inside and out now. They knew their faults and their good points, their fears, their concerns and their plans for the future. They infuriated each other and they had the ability to make the other inordinately happy, or crushingly sad. She was his, Lily realised, and he hers, and not just because of what had happened between them the night before, they had given themselves to the other, freely and willingly.. Why would they want to erase all of that and start again, when, really, they had been courting for years.

She was ready, she suddenly realised, for a future with James Potter.

Because she was hopelessly in love with him.

Lily slumped against the pillows, her mind reeling as she tried to process this influx of life changing information.

The body underneath her stirred and groaned softly, his hand coming to rest on her breast.

"Mmm, Lily," he murmured, massaging her breast lightly with his fingers.

She gasped softly at the sensations he was eliciting within her.

"Lily…" James's voice becoming more aware as he quickly withdrew his hand. His still sleep confused hazel eyes blinked down at her. "Erh….good morning."

"Good morning," Lily murmured back, grinning at him as awareness flooded into his eyes and he groped for his glasses on the table beside the bed.

James' gaze left her eyes, if only momentarily and swept down their bodies, still pressed against each other, taking in their lack of clothing. He swallowed audibly.

"It was real," his voice was husky with wonderment, his eyes wide. "I thought it was a dream."

"Do you dream about this often?" Lily wriggled in his grip to prove her point, stifling a small laugh.

"I don't think you want me to answer that," James told her, wondering if she was bothered by the way his erection was pressing very obviously into her thigh.

Lily couldn't help but laugh then, buoyed as she still was by her recent epiphany.

James observed her behaviour warily.

"You seem happier than you have in a while," he told her cautiously, afraid her mood would change with his questioning, his brain still catching up with the situation he had woken in.

Lily rolled over so she was facing him, her body melding even more so against his, running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair.

"I am happy, James," her smile was so heart-felt, so large and obviously sincere that James couldn't help but smile at her in return.

"I'm glad," he wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger, playing with it absent-mindedly. "What's made you so happy?"

Lily laughed again.

"You, this," she told him, pressing her body up against his again to demonstrate her meaning and enjoyed watching James bite back his groan.

"I'm glad my skills as a lover have you so relaxed," James commented teasingly and Lily swotted him, albeit as lovingly as she was able.

Somehow, in their tussle, she ended up prone on top of him and their laughter turned into heated gazes.

"Thank you, James," Lily whispered against his neck as her teeth grazed his earlobe.

"For what?" James gasped, his hands running the length of her back, pausing appreciatively on her bare derrière.

"For last night and for this morning. For loving me," she told him as she slipped further down his body.

"I'll always love you sweetheart. I have for the longest time. You only ever had to let me," his hands stilled on her lower back, the gentle patterns he was tracing on her skin proof of his worship.

Lily looked up then, her gaze fixed on his as she summoned the courage to voice her epiphany.

"I love you too, James."

His eyes widened in surprise, his mouth dropped open and for a second there was nothing but the sound of the wind whistling outside the castle. Then, Lily found herself crushed underneath him, his mouth working feverishly against her own.

"Oh Merlin….God…Lily, you have no idea how much it means to hear you say that." James groaned, bringing his lips to meet her.

Lily's insides liquefied with love, happiness and lust, as she swam in James's embrace, her hands grasping unsteadily at his broad musculature as his lips moved hastily down her throat. A half laugh half moan escaped her unbidden as he cradled her as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

"I love you," she told him again, desperate for him to continue touching her the way he was. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"You make me the happiest man on Earth," James whispered hoarsely against her stomach, a spot he had previously been running his tongue across. "And I'm going to make you feel better than anybody else ever has, or ever will again."

Lily shivered eagerly in anticipation as James's head dipped further down. The sight of his unruly black hair between her legs was almost Lily's undoing, though nothing compared to the exquisite feelings that erupted through her entire body when

James pressed his mouth against her throbbing flesh.

Her back arched off the bed, her hands knotted in his hair as James pressed kiss after kiss to her soaking wet folds, running his tongue over the length of her, sucking gently until Lily was panting and so desperately close to falling into blissful oblivion that she could no longer force her eyes open. She gasped as she felt James slip a finger, then another inside of her and twisted them in the most delicious movements sending her spiralling over the precipice, crying aloud as she came.

The first thing Lily saw when she managed to pull her eyes open was James's broad and rather self-satisfied grin.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, still coming down from her high.

"For what? You think I'm done with you yet?" James asked, his lips fixed on her neck. "You've got a lot to learn Lil's."

Lily squealed as she was yanked on top of James and they picked up what they had begun the night before.

Several hours later the Marauders were in Professor McGonagall's office, trying to convince her to mount a search party for the missing Head Boy and Girl.

****

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Three voices demanded of James as he made his way into the seventh year boys' dormitory late that afternoon.

James paused in his whistling, regarding his friends with a happy grin, unaware of the first and second years that had been, and still were, scouring the castle for him on his friends' insistence.

"Oh you know," he answered casually. "Just in bed with Lily Evans."

Three jaws dropped as one, eyebrows receded into hairlines and for once, Sirius was rendered speechless.

"Come again?" Peter spoke eventually, his voice hoarse.

Just as James's grin grew and he opened his mouth to comment, Remus cut him off with a groan –

"Don't even go there, Prongs. Sit and explain."

"Explain? Never. I'm a gentleman, I don't kiss and tell."

The tension in the room dissolved at the absurdity of his statement.

"What can I say, gents? She threw herself at me. I'm obviously irresistible," James shrugged nonchalantly, his casual manner barely veiling his obvious joy.

"She's managed to resist you for the past six years mate," Sirius pointed out, unable to help but rib his friend. "You finally caught Evans, though. I'm happy for you, mate."

It was as close as Sirius had ever come to expressing a deep emotion without the influence of Firewhiskey.

"I didn't so much catch her as she reeled me into bed," James professed in a low tone, confusion evident in his voice. "I've no idea how it happened," he paused, and a huge, face-splitting smile spread over his features again. "But, it was amazing."

"It always is," Sirius nodded, his eyebrows raised suggestively with a self-satisfied grin lighting up his handsome features.

"No, not like this," James shook his head and none of his friends missed his awed expression. "I…I told her that I love her….and she loves me back."

"She said that?" Peter asked, wide-eyed.

"Multiple times," James smirked, unable to help himself. "Occasionally while….never mind."

With respective expressions of awe, good natured humour and pride; Peter, Remus and Sirius went back to the pursuits that had engaged them before James had found his way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Left without distractions for the first time since he had entered the Head's dorm the night before, James found himself reflecting on the monumental change that had occurred in his life in the past twenty-four hours. After years of trying, months of reformations and weeks of balancing on the precipice of a relationship, he was finally able to call Lily Evans his. They had made love several times. He had taken her virginity and she had given it to him willingly. For the first time, he regretted all the fumbles in cupboards and trysts atop the Astronomy Tower. They were meaningless flings that had resulted only in brief feelings of satisfaction and outlandish rumours that everybody from Dumbledore to the first years had heard. Making love with Lily had meant something…it meant everything, because he loved her, and she loved him back…

"She loves me," James whispered, awed. "She loves me! Lily Evans loves me!"

His friends watched on, completely flummoxed as James Potter, the self-assured, confident, perpetually cool and calm James Potter jumped up and down on his four-poster bed, yelling until he was hoarse that Lily Evans loved him.

* * *

"Merlin," Alice breathed while taking in Lily, who was lying on her dormitory bed with a small smile on her face, her hands clasped over her stomach. "You got laid."

Lily sat bolt upright, her smile fading from her face at Alice's words, though not completely.

"How can you tell?" She asked, her eyes widening, slightly embarrassed to have been caught.

"You did?" Alice exclaimed, flinging herself onto Lily's bed. "Merlin….oh, just….Merlin!"

"So did you!" Lily accused, slapping her friend's arm lightly.

"I totally did," Alice giggled, throwing herself into Lily's arms.

"Do you feel as…_sated_….as I do?" Lily asked, unable to repress a sigh of happiness.

"Is James that talented?" Alice collapsed in laughter before shooting upright, her eyes wide. "It _was_ James wasn't it?"

"Of course it was!" Lily exclaimed. "He loves me," her voice softened considerably. "And I love him."

"Wo-ow," Alice sighed. "Just….wow."

"I know," Lily sighed.

"So…you're a couple now?" Alice asked hesitantly.

The smile faded from Lily's face. For all their declarations, they had never specifically discussed the future. After Lily's revelations, they hadn't really discussed much of anything.

"I don't know…we never said… we didn't…he didn't…"

"Lily," Alice breathed softly, taking her friend's hand. "James has wanted you, for well….forever. I'm sure he wants to be with you. He probably just assumed you knew. Guys are dumb that way."

Lily smiled, barely a tilting upwards of the corners of her mouth.

"I'm just not sure where this is going, that's all," she breathed. "School's over soon, he's going to the Ministry, I'm going to St Mungo's. And we never promised each other anything…"

"Lily, this is James, he's not going to let you get away. You'll make promises to each other; you'll figure it out, just wait," Alice said, doing her best to reassure the bothered red head in her bed.

Lily nodded, accepting her friend's enthusiastic hug and the chocolate frog she passed her from her bedside table. The two girls sat up gossiping late into the night and if Alice had noticed Lily's distraction though she did not comment on it. It was well after midnight by the time Lily climbed into her own bed and Alice's breathing quickly regulated into the slow, soft breaths that indicated sleep. Lily lay wide awake staring up at the canopy of her four poster bed.

Her mind wandered as she lay in bed, sleep evading her yet again. Hours before, as she had lain completely spent, in James' arms, she wasn't sure she had ever been more relaxed. Now, however, she was wound tighter than a ball of string, recalling every word James had spoken to her that day and kicking herself for not demanding more _real _conversation. She had been so caught up in their love making, and the incredible euphoria that came with the realisation of her first and only love, that conversation had seemed completely obsolete. And they were running out of time for conversation. She should have demanded more solid answers but the only time they had come close to discussing it they had become distracted, _very _distracted…

"_I feel like I'm floating," Lily had laughed softly, nestled under James' arm, "like my joints are all disconnected from my body." _

"_Five orgasms will do that to you," James grinned in a very self-satisfied manner. "It was five wasn't it?" _

"_You know it was," Lily rolled her eyes, jabbing him lightly in the ribs. _

"_Get used to it," James rolled so that he was lying on top of her, every inch of their bodies pressed together. "For the rest of your life, I'm going to keep doing this…" _

_His fingers touched her delightfully, stroking her up and down with each word, her back bowing off the bed._

"_The rest of my life?" Lily was momentarily distracted from the growing tension building in her stomach. _

"_The rest of _our_ lives." James stressed, his voice tense as she reached down and took him in her hand firmly, gliding up and down his hardening length. "Even when we're old and wrinkly, I'll still make you feel like this,"_ _his fingers moved a little faster as if to prove his point. _

"_Forever?" Lily gasped, guiding him towards her entrance. _

"_That's what I'm promising," he groaned as they came together again. He filled her perfectly and they both gasped at the sensation of being so close. _

"_I can live with that," Lily purred, wrapping her legs around his waist and urging him deeper. _

"_Good, because now that I've had you… I'm never letting you go."_ _James sped up his thrusts and Lily's eyes rolled back in her head as she felt herself growing closer to her climax. They reached down together, Lily to grasp James' buttocks, and James to touch the exact spot where they were joined. Lily screamed her release in a mangle of his name and both Muggle and wizard curses and with three short sharp thrusts, James followed after, a low groan in the back of his throat as he collapsed on top of her. _

"_Six," he murmured into her hair. _

Had that been James' promise to her, a promise of a future together? Words that had only been spoken in the throes of passion…Did he see a forever for them? Despite the war and their youth and everything that was coming at them, was there a future with James?

Her nights in the bed she had laid in for seven years were numbered and the thought was absolutely terrifying. Hogwarts was her home, it had been her home for seven years, the place where she felt most comfortable, where she was among her peers, people who understood her, a place she wasn't dubbed a freak. And within weeks, she would have to leave. To where, she didn't know, yet. Her future was as murky as the fog of a crystal ball, and more than anything else in the world, more than she wanted an Outstanding in every N.E.W.T she took, acceptance to the St Mungo's trainee program or Gryffindor to win the Quidditch House Cup, Lily wanted somewhere to call home.

* * *

_We're quickly approaching the end of Fait Accompli. According to my current calculations their will be a total of twenty chapters and an epilogue. This is all subject to change. I can't guarantee when the next time I'll update will be, real life is really kicking my butt right now, but I would anticipate it being within three weeks. Because of the long wait, I've put together a list of story recommendations, if you're after something new to read:_

_Dried Lillies, by KaitHobbit. I've mentioned it before, but I think its worth another shout out, especially as the story heats up. I've been reading over this for Kait since approximately half way through, and theirs been a huge improvement in her writing from start to where we are now (Chapter Twenty). She deserves more credit than she gets, so I urge you to have a look, tell her SC sent you._

_www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6044491/1/_

_Kiss and Tell by SunshineDaisies0821. This is one of the better James and Lily stories I've read, with a very different storyline to most. Once again, tell her SC sent you._

_www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5823177/1/Kiss_and_Tell_

_Finding Himself by Minisinoo. In my opinion, the best HP fanfic ever written, certainly the best I've ever read. Normally I'm a stickler for canon couples, but this Cedric/Hermione fic is amazing. Don't judge it on face value, you'd be depriving yourself of an amazing reading experience._

_www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4594634/1/bFINDING_b_bHIMSELF_b_

_I've also heard very good things about Commentarius by B.C. Daily, though I haven't had time to read it myself. If you're reading it, let me know what you think. That's all really. I actually don't read a lot of HP fic's, mainly Twilight. If anybody's after a list of my favourite Twilight fics feel free to PM me, I've got so many I love._

_Thanks, as always for reading. I'll try to get a preview of Chapter Eighteen out to all those that review as soon as possible. I hope the delay between updates won't be too long. SC._


	18. Chapter 18

Fait Accompli 09:47

I'm back! I'm inordinately sorry for the wait, this chapter was ready several weeks ago but formatting and computer issues have kept me from sharing it with you. As it has been so long, you may like to refresh your memory as to what happened in the last chapter, as the following chapter flows almost directly on from it.

This chapter has earned its M rating. The second part of it is the smutty one shot I once promised you all.

All characters and settings belong to J.K.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen – Propoundments

"_I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, 'Mother, what was the War?'"_

_Eve Merriam_

_

* * *

_

When James Potter met Lily Evans with a passionate kiss at the foot of the staircase leading to the girls dormitory the next morning, several third year girls walked directly into a wall.

As James and Lily strolled into the Great Hall hand in hand only ten minutes later, scrambled eggs fell out of many peoples' mouths. A fifth year girl left the Hall in tears and Caradoc Dearborn appeared to have eaten something particularly sour. Professor Filius Flitwick clapped his hands with joy, while accepting ten Galleons from a dour faced Professor McGonagall as she lamented at over losing their bet.

Lily blushed throughout the day, mostly at Sirius' suggestive comments and James' attention. His hands never left her, a smile permanently etched onto his face and he seemed completely oblivious to every snide comment or aside occasionally directed towards them. And while Lily was more conscious of those around them than James, she couldn't help but smile. James' attentions screamed of forever and even though he had never verbalised such intentions she allowed herself to hope.

Though hope, in Lily's opinion, was such a fickle identity.

It was in their free period, when James was too engrossed in his unfinished Transfiguration homework to notice her distraction, that Lily's attention wandered. Alice's words from the night before ran through her mind on a continuous loop. _'I'm sure he wants to be with you. He probably just assumed you knew.' _Lily stifled a smile at just how accurate her friend had been. All day James had been attentive and affectionate, and exactly as a boyfriend would act.

Though his heated, lust filled, gazes caused her to shiver gently and were a constant reminder of exactly how much he wanter her.

These gazes were at odds with the soft and gently affectionate touches he bestowed on her when he thought nobody was looking. He would bring her hand to his lips and kiss it gently, caress her cheek with the back of his hand or softly play with her hair. These little attentions set her heart racing and brought tears to her eyes that she would hurriedly blink away. In his own way, James was promising her forever.

"Uh…Mr. Potter? Miss Evans?" A timid voice interrupted Lily's musings. Standing several meters away from their table was a tiny first year clutching a twisted piece of paper in her hands and blushing furiously.

"Huh?" James looked up from his essay, apparently confused at having been addressed.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to ask you to go to his office," the small girlblurted in a hurry, her face darkening noticeably.

"Thank you, Clarissa," Lily said kindly to the girl as she handed over the twisted piece of parchment in her hands.

The girl squeaked lightly and hurried off.

"I swear they get smaller every year," James chuckled as he pulled Lily's chair back for her.

"I wonder what Dumbledore wants…" Lily wondered with a silent sigh of contentment as James took her hand.

"He probably wants to congratulate us," James smirked, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"Reprimand us, more likely," Lily rolled her eyes. "Or remind us to keep our behaviour appropriate."

"It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" James bent low to whisper in her ear and a flash of heat shot through her, coming to rest deep in her stomach.

Lily opened her mouth to scold him, but he bent down farther and silenced her with a kiss. As he broke away, he was grinning smugly.

"Hmm, if I had known kissing you would have stopped you from arguing with me, I would've started doing it a long time ago," he teased, tugging gently on the end of her hair.

"And you would have been jinxed," Lily replied tartly, the tips of her toes still tingling from his kiss. "You still might be."

"You wouldn't dare," James said confidently, as they turned the corner into the corridor that held Dumbledore's office. "You love me too much."

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Lily shook her head, retrieving her hand from James' grasp as she spoke the password to the twin gargoyles standing guard to the Headmaster's office.

"Why can't I hold your hand?" James pouted petulantly as they stepped onto the staircase.

"Because we're going to see the Headmaster," Lily rolled her eyes again.

"As if Dumbledore would care," James laughed.

"I'd care!" Lily insisted.

Their argument was cut short as the staircase reached the entrance to the Headmaster's office. James knocked and they were bidden to enter.

Lily was always astounded by the many unusual and fascinating objects that could be found in Professor Dumbledore's office, but her favourite by far was the Headmaster's pet, Fawks. The phoenix had enraptured Lily from her first visit to the Headmaster's office, as an indignant second year, demanding the expulsion of the Marauders after a particularly vicious prank involving her Potions book. Lily smiled wistfully at the memory; so much had changed in the last five years.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore welcomed them with a smile. It had been several weeks since she had been face to face with the Headmaster and she was shocked to see the deepening of the lines around his eyes and the grey beginning to appear in his auburn mane.

"Good afternoon, Professor," James and Lily spoke at the same time, glancing at each other and blushing.

"I hope I didn't interrupt your studies," the Professor continued congenially, motioning for them to sit. "Exams are fast approaching. Have you heard from the Auror academy, Mr. Potter?"

"No, Sir," James replied, his brow furrowing at the lack of news as they took the indicated seats. "Though, I suppose they may be waiting on my exam results before they make a final decision."

"Indeed. And you, Miss Evans? What news from St. Mungo's?"

"None I'm afraid, Sir," Lily answered immediately. "I expect to hear after exams."

Though Lily was, outwardly, her usual polite and respectful self, she was more than a little perplexed as to the nature of Dumbledore's inquiries. It seemed overboard, even for the eccentric Headmaster, to pull them out of their free study period, so perilously close to exams, only to inquire as to their after-Hogwarts prospects, when surely, he could have discovered these facts of his own accord.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, I'll cut to the quick. I'm sure you're both curious as to why you are here." Lily's mouth fell open and she quickly snapped it shut again. It was so easy to forget how accomplished the Headmaster was at reading people's thoughts and expressions. "I'd like to congratulate you both. The Auror department will be receiving a very capable new trainee, and St Mungo's a very able potioneer."

Lily gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth. Was Dumbledore telling her she was in? St Mungo's had accepted her, even without the benefit of her exam marks?

"Of course, it's best not to broadcast such news, not when your classmates still have several weeks until they learn of their own successes," Dumbledore continued. "I tell you, only because I have a proposition to make of you, something that may alter the path you chose to take."

Lily listened with bated breath, her heart in her throat as Professor Dumbledore explained to them the underground resistance movement that would become the Order of the Phoenix. How Dumbledore, the leader of the Order, wanted them, both of them, to accept the positions offered to them by the Auror department and St Mungo's respectively and work within those organizations to assist the Order in keeping the Dark forces at bay. Lord Voldemort was gaining immense power; his followers had infiltrated all aspects of magical politics and it was time for the forces working against him to do the same. The dangers were extreme, that part Dumbledore stressed the most. To openly and violently oppose Lord Voldemort would be considered by some to be nothing, but a suicide mission.

"It pains me to make sure an offer to you both," Lily had never seen Dumbledore look as weary as he did at that moment. "But, we need the brightest, the best, and you've proven yourselves capable more times than I care to remember. It would be negligent of me to not respect your capabilities and offer you a place in our organization."

A heavy silence fell upon the trio, broken almost instantly by Lily.

"I'd like to join immediately please."

"Lily!" James spluttered.

"Miss Evans, I appreciate your bravery, but you have time, consider the gravity of your commitment."

"I don't need time, my answer won't change," Lily promised, ignoring James' outrage.

"Lils!" James reached for her hand, despite the obvious proximity of their Headmaster. "Don't be stupid, you're not doing this!"

"Of course I am," she folded her hands across her chest, if only to keep them out of his grasp. "And don't call me stupid! I suppose you think you're going to join?"

"Yeah I am, but Lily, you're not. I won't let you."

"Won't let me?" Lily gasped, flying to her feet, beyond outraged. "What gives you the right, James Potter, to allow me to do or not do anything? Excuse me, Professor."

Lily flew from the Headmaster's office as fast as her feet would carry her. She was completely incensed; who did James bloody Potter think he was? He was nothing, but an idiotic, self-important, loathsome toe-rag!

"Lily, wait! Lily, stop, I'm sorry!" James grabbed her arm from behind her, pulling her to a stop at the entrance of the Great Hall.

"No, you stop, James Potter!" She exclaimed, throwing him her most ferocious glare. "What do you think gives you the right to boss me around? Just because we slept together a few times does not make me your property!"

"Lily, keep your voice down," James begged, throwing an anxious glance around. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was just….the thought of you fighting, getting hurt…dying…..it made me irrational."

"More irrational than usual, you mean?" She quipped under her breath.

"Lils, listen," he tried to draw her into his arms, but she resisted until he gave up with a sigh. "It's a big decision. Take some time, think it over, consider your options…"

"Options," Lily huffed. "I don't have any options, James."

"Of course you do. What'd you mean?" James seemed honestly perplexed by her renitence.

"I'm an orphan, James," she spat at him, her despair causing her to lash out. "My parents are dead and the only family I have left are magic hating fools! I have nobody to care whether I fight or not, and nobody to leave behind. I have to fight! Have to make some use of my life! So, don't you tell me I can't, James Potter, because what Dumbledore is offering is some surety in my life; a purpose. That's why I'm joining. What other option do I have?"

James stared at her incredulously, as if unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Are you daft, Lily Evans?" He demanded, his voice hoarse. "Why do you think I'm here arguing this with you? Because I care if you live or die! I am your option, you silly, foolish girl! I love you, I'm your boyfriend, and if you want to fight I'll fight right along beside you, but not because you think it's the only option you have. Because you believe in the cause and want to make a better world. Open your eyes, Lils. So many people love you."

"You're my boyfriend?" Lily whispered, reacting to none other than that small part of James' tirade.

James crushed her to his chest, laughing into her hair, holding her so tightly it was painful.

"I'd like to be much more than that, if you'd let me Lily," he whispered. "Please don't doubt me, or how I feel about you."

"I still want to fight," Lily murmured against James' chest, tears dancing in her eyes from the feeling of the weight James had just lifted off her shoulders.

"I know, darling. So do I" James' hold on her did not loosen.

That night, James wrote to his father to ask a rather special favour.

* * *

_Part Two_

"_The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time."_

Abraham Lincoln

* * *

Exams hit the seventh years with the force of a wrecking ball, overriding every other thought, feeling, and action, except that of getting the marks they wanted. Almost the entire 7th year level was teetering on a knife's edge, close to breaking point.

All, except one.

"I love this time of year," Sirius commented to his friends as they made their way down the corridor to the Library. He was whistling, much to the outrage of many of his classmates, who were in the midst of nervous breakdowns.

His friends gaped at him.

"How…how can you love….this?" Alice moaned, motioning towards her crumpled outfit, unkempt hair and the dark bags under her eyes.

"Simple, Alice, my dear," Sirius threw a jovial arm around her shoulder. "Everybody is _stressed." _

Lily rolled her eyes.

"It's because we're in the middle of exams, Sirius. Those of us that care find the prospect a little daunting."

"I know that Lily-petal," Sirius drew her in under his other arm. "That's the point. I don't care, but many members of the female sub-species, do."

"Sub-species?" Lily and Alice echoed in equally disbelieving and indignant tones.

"What're you getting at, Padfoot?" James asked, rescuing Lily from under his best mates arm to keep her from attacking him.

"I'm so glad you asked Prongs," Sirius beamed widely at them all. "My point, my dear friends, is this: girls all over this school are stressed and looking for a way to, how shall I put it, release some pent up energy. And, with my widely known reputation as an accomplished and giving lover, they're all flocking for some one-on-one time with Sirius."

"Ewww!" Lily and Alice exclaimed. "Surely nobody's that stressed," Lily added.

"Lily, you wound me," Sirius flattened his hand dramatically over his chest. "Think about it. Sex makes you happy, for ten to thirty minutes at a time, given the stamina of the male and the attractiveness of the female in question. It's a stress relief, as our Miss Alice knows all too well."

Alice flushed, gesturing rudely at Sirius.

"I'm just saying, even McGonagall knows the benefits of a little loving. Is it any surprise that I'm practically beating girls off with my wand?"

XX

Lily had largely discredited Sirius' words as his usual gobbledygook and had not thought on them at all as she engaged in her frantic last minute preparations for the next day's Herbology exam. It wasn't until much later that night that they re-entered her mind.

She was lying in bed with her mind reeling, body aching, and finding herself unable to relax, just as she had for the past two hours.' An hour ago, in desperation, she had taken a long soak in the lovely tub in the Prefects bathroom, but the mermaid on the wall only prompted her recital of the long list of waterborne plants she would have to write on the next and fed up, Lily was close to tears as she counted down the hours until her exam, hoping she would be able to sleep at some point, lest her performance in the exam suffer because of exhaustion.

Desperate to distract herself from the impending horror of her Herbology exam, Lily's attentions turned to Sirius earlier proclamations. Despite her initial reaction, she realised Sirius had been correct on one manner. She recalled, with a flush of heat low in her belly, just how relaxed, how utterly blissful she had been upon waking after her first night with James.

Her mind was made up in an instant.

James had said she was welcome in his bed at any time.

It took her only a minute to cross the Girl's dormitory, pad across the Common Room and take the stairs to the Boy's dormitory. She pushed the door open quietly and walked in.

It was too dark to make out many of the details in the room, but she could tell instantaneously which four-poster bed was James'; his broomstick took up a place of pride at the foot of his drawn curtains. Her heart was in her throat as she pulled back the curtains and slipped into bed with him as quietly as possible.

He was asleep, of course; it was three in the morning. Lily had half hoped he would wake when she slipped in beside him. With a muffled sigh, she cuddled up beside him, unable to not stare at how beautiful he was when he was asleep.

His presence was soothing and despite her heightened state of arousal, Lily felt her breathing regulate, her eyelids droop. She was just beginning to hope that she may be able to fall asleep when James moved beside her.

"Lils?" His sleepy voice croaked disbelievingly.

"Hi, sorry, I couldn't sleep. I was stressed out and then I thought about what Sirius said earlier and I just thought…never mind, go back to sleep."

James was awake in an instant.

"What exactly where you thinking about?" He asked, toying with the hem of her nightgown.

"Just..erh, what he said about….you know, sex being stress relieving and I thought that maybe…it would help me sleep."

"I see," James murmured, sliding the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders and running a caressing finger over her breasts. "And what do you think I could do, to help you sleep?"

She gasped as he pressed a soft kiss to her left breast, twisting and tugging the other nipple in his fingertips.

"Umm, ah! I don't know," she whispered needily as he slipped off her nightgown and knickers simultaneously.

"Sure you do, Lils. You must have thought about this," he taunted, slipping a finger inside of her slowly. She gasped at the sensation, writhing against his hand. "Do you want me to make love to you slowly or do you want me to fuck you so hard you come, screaming my name?"

He twisted his fingers brutally inside her to prove his point, reducing Lily to a quivering ball of need.

"The….the second one," she gasped as he pressed down on her clit with his thumb.

"Say it, Lily. I want to hear you say it," James groaned, pulling his fingers out of her completely and sharply slapping her soaking folds.

"Fuck me, James! I need you to fuck me!" She all, but screamed.

"You only had to ask," he grinned insufferably and Lily swatted his naked behind playfully. His eyes darkened, all playfulness disappearing from them completely as he flipped her onto her stomach with one strong movement and swiftly entered her from behind.

"Fuck," he groaned out as Lily moaned throatily, completely overcome by the sensation of fullness and the ever pressing need of his throbbing member against her clit. He pulled her hips up to meet him, slapping into her harshly again, leaning forward to roughly massage her breasts in his hand.

"Oh, God….Merlin, James…." Lily moaned huskily, her voice breaking with need. "Harder, please…."

They met each other thrust for thrust, Lily's moans mingling with James' curses and oaths, within minutes she was throbbing around him, contracting and pulling as she neared her release.

"James, oh….I'm going to….James!" She screamed as her orgasm overcame her, James followed her within seconds, thrusting hastily and haphazardly as he spilled inside of her.

They collapsed onto one another, laughing softly as he pulled out of her. Exhausted, Lily closed her eyes automatically and began to drift towards sleep.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Sirius was right," she murmured sleepily.

"As nice as it is to hear you say that Evans," a voice from somewhere to their right cut through the quiet. "Do you think next time you could use a silencing charm?"

* * *

Thankyou to all of you for your kind wishes regarding the flooding my family and I recently experienced. Things are better than they were and hopefully will continue to improve.

The next chapter will be our last of this story. I will post it as soon as is possible.

You're reviews mean more to me than I can express, please leave some love as we reach our conclusion.

Stay safe and be happy until next time.

- Sar.


	19. Chapter 19

_Here we are, the final chapter of Fait Accompli._

_Special thanks to Brition and Kymmie, your help has been invaluable. Briton's new story may be found at www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/3052891/1/Marry_me_I_beg_you_

_The most heartfelt thanks to both Casey and Kait, they've both been with me from the beginning right through till our ending. Their help and friendship has been invaluable to me. Casey has been with me through two continents, a half year away from home and everything that came with it. Kait has continued to guide me, support me and make me laugh through several semesters of Uni, which I know myself to be no small thing. Her story may be found at_

_www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6044491/1/Dried_Lilies_

_Thank you, to both of them, doesn't feel like nearly enough._

_Finally, thank you to all of you. Whether you've been with us from the start, or only just joined us, your messages of support have been one of the most heart warming experiences of my life. Thank you for making the progress of this story all the more special to me. I'll miss you all more than I can say. In saying that, if you're interested, please subscribe to my author alert, if you're interested in hearing more from me in the future. _

_Both Casey and Kait told me a tissue warning should be in place for this chapter. _

_Lily speaks of a quote in this chapter which she calls a 'wizarding' quote. As Kait pointed out for me, it can be found in Cor. 15:26,._

_A final reminder that I own nothing except the content of this story._

_And so, almost a year to the day after our beginning, we reach the end…  
_

* * *

_"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."_  
Unknown

* * *

After months, years even, of preparation, exams were over, and so too was their time at Hogwarts.

As the seventh years exited the Great Hall at the completion of their Transfiguration written final, a grim silence hung over them instead of the joy and relief one might expect; because they all knew, as they had laid down their quills for the last time, suddenly, they were adults.

And, according to Sirius, that was about as terrifying as a rampaging hippogriff.

"For the love of Merlin," he exclaimed, thumping his goblet of Firewhiskey on the table, seemingly not noticing the overspill. "We're old! Adults! We're expected, to you know, get jobs, earn Galleons, get married, have babies…"

"Nobody expects that from you Sirius," Alice commented, surfacing from Frank for the first time since he had arrived. "You'll never be a grownup."

"Too right Alice!" Sirius agreed, downing the last of his drink. "Who's getting the next round then?"

James made eye contact with Lily over the bar and they both smiled softly. It was a lover's smile, the kind full of promise and secretive knowledge of the other; they may as well have been alone in the overcrowded room for the notice they took of anyone except each other. The traditional end of exams party in Hogsmeade roared around them, their classmates in various states of inebriation, and in some cases, undress, as they looked into each other's eyes across the room.

What could have been hours was, in reality, very brief, as their respective conversational partners reclaimed their attentions. Neither minded, the promise of later remained.

It was in fact many hours later when James and Lily finally recaptured each other's attentions. They met on the dance floor, James' arms snaking around Lily's waist as he pulled her close, much closer than would seem appropriate for the far from private situation they were in, and bought his lips to hers eagerly. Lily returned equally as enthusiastically, laughing into his mouth at the euphoric movements of his mouth. It was a kiss that was as possessive as it was fervent, but the overwhelming emotion pulsing from James was a victorious one, as he wound one hand into her hair and pressed her to him with the other.

"What was that for?" She giggled, slightly breathlessly as they finally broke away.

James' elated grin was infectious.

"You're finally in Hogsmeade with me!"

* * *

It was the very early hours of the morning by the time Lily and James shared a final, sleepy kiss in the Gryffindor Common Room. Arm in arm Lily and Alice dragged themselves up the stairs, collapsing into bed, still fully clothed.

"Sirius' is right you know," Alice murmured, breaking the stillness of their Dormitory. "When did we become adults?"

"Sometime between the third and eighth round tonight," Lily laughed softly. "I swear the room's spinning Alice."

"You're drunk Lils," Alice giggled. "But so am I," she sighed. "It was so good seeing Frank tonight."

"You'll be seeing him every day soon enough," Lily grinned into the darkness.

"I doubt it," Alice scoffed. "Apparently being an adult means do something called _working for a living_. We'll probably see each other less than we do now."

"I dare say before too long you'll be coming home to each other every night," Lily suggested with raised eyebrows that she knew Alice couldn't see.

"Lily!" Alice exclaimed. She was silent for a moment. "Do you really think so?"

"Don't you?" Lily asked. "You can't be oblivious to the way Frank looks at you Allie."

"And yet you managed to be equally as ignorant to James' feelings for you," Alice laughed. "And your own feelings for him. Don't talk to me about oblivious Lily Evans!"

"We're not talking about me!" Lily protested, flushing in the darkness. "I'd put money on you being engaged by year's end Allie. Assuming you say yes when Frank asks."

"Of course I'll say yes!" Alice exclaimed. "Will you?"

"Will I what?" Lily was confused.

"Will you say yes to James when he asks?" Lily could tell Alice was rolling her eyes.

"I doubt he'll ask any time soon," Lily snorted. "I'm sure I've got a while to think about it."

"I wouldn't be so confident of that Lils," Alice was serious now. "As far as James is concerned, you've already wasted enough time, I doubt he'll want to waste much more."

"We're practically old maids Alice," Lily laughed. "I hope they ask soon."

"You'd say yes then?" Alice asked curiously, excitement palpable in her voice. "If he asked?"

"I would," Lily sighed.

"You mean _I do,_" Alice laughed.

"Goodnight Alice," Lily effectively ended their conversation, drawing the hangings around the bed they were sharing.

"Night Lils," Alice sighed, fluffing her pillow and settling down into it with a sigh. "Wake me up when I'm an adult."

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room was empty of all except the seventh years. Exams continued for the younger students, leaving the seventh years to the best armchairs beside the fire to enjoy their solitude. The weather outside of the castle was unseasonably inclement and the rain tapped steadily against the windows of the Gryffindor tower, a soothing staccato that made Lily very glad to be inside, curled up on a chair with James, listening to the playful banter of their friends.

"You weren't exactly secretive about it Mooney," Sirius snorted. "Lauren Caragon! Who knew you had it in you!"

"Leave it alone Sirius," Remus groaned, hanging his head. "We were both drunk, I'm sure we'll be able to laugh it off and go back to being friends."

"Well you were looking _very _friendly," James snorted, unconsciously running his fingers across Lily's ribs. "Our boy's finally becoming a man Paddy."

"Now we've just got to get Wormy acquainted with the wiles of the fairer sex," Sirius elbowed Peter playfully.

"I do okay," Wormtail muttered petulantly.

"Self-care doesn't count Pete," Sirius laughed. "I've seen you stash of Wanton Witch Weekly's mate."

Peter blushed furiously as Lily, Alice, Remus and James howled with laughter. Much to his relief, Alice changed the subject.

"This could be the last time this happens," she commented, a frown tugging down the corners of her mouth. "All of us, sitting around, talking crap, nowhere to be and nothing to do. I'll miss this."

The Marauder's pretended not to notice the tears dancing in Alice's eyes, while Lily reached over and took her friends hand.

"It won't be the last time Allie" Lily told her confidently.

"Lils is right," Sirius spoke loudly. "After all, we'll have all those Order meetings. You won't have a chance to miss me."

"I think we might be a bit busy at Order meetings to talk about Mooney's love life," James snorted. "I'm pretty sure Dumbledore said they're normally pretty focused on, you know, defeating You Know Who and other, equally trivial, things."

"Huh, fancy that," Sirius scoffed. "And I thought we'd be swapping knitting patterns."

As was their intention, Alice laughed.

"The real world's a scary place," Lily sighed, unconsciously picking at a loose thread on her sweater. "We're walking into a war zone when we leave here tomorrow morning."

James' grip on Lily tightened.

"All the more reason to stick together Lils," Mooney offered her a small smile.

"Every day there's more disappearances, more deaths," Lily's teeth worried her bottom lip. "How did it come to this?"

They were all silent, none of them had answers. The world they were stepping into was in turmoil more than any of them were aware.

"Are you guys scared?" Peter asked quietly, looking for validation of his own fears.

Their resounding silence seemed to speak volumes.

"Do you ever think…" Peter hesitated a moment before continuing, "That is would be easier…not to fight."

"Sure it'd be easier," James agreed, his hand squeezing Lily's a little too tightly for comfort. "But it wouldn't be _right_. And I don't think we'd be any safer. You Know Who will want us, no matter what, at least if we fight, we're in with a chance of defeating Him, even if…." His grip on Lily's hand was painful now. "Even if we die in the process."

A sob caught in Lily's throat.

"Are we prepared to die for this cause though?" Peter was wide-eyed, terrified, his lower lip trembling as he spoke.

"I'd rather die for it than in spite of it," Sirius's voice was husky, remarkably sombre for him. "And it's going to come down to that. Try as we might I can't see this ending any time soon and….I can't see any of us making old bones in this world."

"You've no hope then?" Lily's voice was choked with tears. She thought, of any of those in company, Sirius would have offered optimism and laughter but his morose seemed to cement their fates.

"There's always hope," Remus drew Alice into his arms, as she shook, tears steadily sliding down her face.

James crushed Lily against his chest, looking over his head at his friends.

"Where there's love there's hope," he whispered into her hair, wishing he could protect her from everything they were preparing to face. "And I'll always love you."

* * *

Dusk fell over the castle as its inhabitants celebrated. Exams had come to their conclusion for every year level and everyone felt like celebrating. The party atmosphere hadn't suited Lily however and so she had escaped to the Owlery for some solitude.

She sat in the empty window frame, the mist from the rain wetting her face and hair, intermingling with the tears that danced on her cheeks. It wasn't that Lily was sad, not at all. It was fear, intense fear and uncertainty for the future that caused her tears. Unlike Peter, Lily wasn't afraid of dying. If her parents deaths had taught her anything it was that the fear people held for death wasn't in the dying itself, but in being left behind. When her parents had died it was Lily and Petunia that were left behind and Lily had survived, but she didn't think she could survive it again. If anything happened to Alice or Frank or Dorcas or Sirius or Remus or Peter or….God forbid, James, Lily honestly wasn't sure she could survive it.

In the wake of the conversation the Gryffindor seventh years had had earlier that day, James and Lily had escaped to the Heads dormitory alone. They had made love for what seemed like hours, slowly, tenderly, and adoringly. Lily cried as she came for the first time, James kissing away her tears and promising her they'd always be together as he loved her through her high, building her up again as he worshipped her with his body. When they eventually tired of each other, Lily had found herself with a new intelligibility, which she was very glad for.

The idea of writing a letter to her parents was something Lily had been tossing around in her head for several weeks. Though she knew, of course, that they would never read it, she expected it would be cathartic, to write down everything she wished she could tell them and to say her final goodbye's to the people that had raised her, as she became an adult in her world.

Several times she had drafted such a letter in her head, but never before had she sat down and attempted to write it. But she had come to the Owlery, not just with the intention of finding some peace, but also of writing such a letter and she had come prepared.

Propping the parchment against her knees Lily dipped her favourite quill in the ink pot she had bought with her and without conscious thought, the words began to flow.

_Mum and Dad,_

_There's so much I've wanted to tell you for so long. I can't believe it's been three months since you both left. It's been so hard not being able to send Helene to you with a letter whenever I've needed advice, but I've been trying my hardest to think about what you'd tell me and live by that. I hope you'd be proud of me if you could see me now. _

_Exams are over, I leave Hogwarts forever tomorrow morning. It's a daunting prospect, being an adult, having to make my own life. I've been accepted to the St Mungo's trainee program, so, in a way, I'll be the doctor you always hoped I would be, maybe just not exactly as you'd planned it. I've also committed myself to an organisation that's trying to bring down the Dark forces of our world. It sounds scary I know, and it is, but I hope you're not worried about me. It's the right thing to do, even if it is terrifying. I can't bring myself to let others fight this battle._

_I'm afraid of what's going to happen after tomorrow, terrified really. I'll be staying with Dorcas until I can settle on something more permanent. Petunia said I could stay with her and Vernon, but I couldn't bring myself to do that, especially when I knew she was only offering out of a sense of duty to you, than out of any real affection for me. I hope the distance between us wouldn't upset you both; we're just too different to make a relationship work. We'll both be happy, just not in each other's lives. I've come to terms with that. _

_I took the advice you gave me mum, I gave James a chance. It's everything I hoped it would be; _James_ is everything I hoped for. He loves me and I love him too, desperately. When I look at him, I see the one certainty in my future. I wish you both could have met him but I want you to know that even though I can look after myself, James will be doing his best to keep me safe as well. Alice seems to think he's going to ask to marry me one day soon. I'm not so sure, but if he does, I think I'll say yes. He's my everything now; I can't imagine my life without him. _

_Sometimes I wonder about the day I lost you both. At first, the idea that you may have crashed deliberately bothered me Dad, I was even angry that your death may have been intentional, but now, I don't mind so much. I know the police ruled the crash an accident, but if it wasn't Dad, I understand. As in love with James as I am, I can understand better not being able to exist in a world where your lover doesn't. I'm glad you're together, wherever you are. _

_Sirius said today that he'd rather die for the cause than in spite of it, and he's right. He also said he can't see us living long lives and I think it's time I came to terms with that. Without sounding conceited, I know that both sides want us. We're the next generation of leaders, except that we won't have the chance to be. It's not simply an option for us to lead our lives unaffected by what is going on. Whether we fight or not, they will come for us and I'd rather go down fighting. I simply can't ignore the horrible things going on around us, the death, the torture and the disappearances. You raised me with a firm sense of right and wrong that doesn't allow for me to bury my head in the sand, or go into hiding, even if it means the shortening of my life. _

_There's a quote in our world 'the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death', it is dark I know, but as I try still, to come to terms with being without you both, and my own mortality, it's of some comfort to me. _

_I miss you both, every day, but it helps to know that I will see you both again one day. Whether that is soon, or in eighty years, when that day comes, I'll be as glad to be in your arms then as I was every day of my childhood. _

_I love you both very much._

_Your Lily. _

* * *

Their final morning at Hogwarts dawned early and much too quickly for Lily's liking. The feast the night before had been filled with light hearted laughter, as Lily tried to commit everything from the feel of the bench seats, to the taste of the food, to memory. Now, as dawn rose over the Scottish hills, Alice and Lily sat huddled in the window, watching the sunrise for one last time.

"Where did seven years go?" Alice asked as they pulled on Muggle clothes, rather than school robes. "I feel like we've just arrived."

Leaving the dormitory that had been her home for the last seven years was hard, but as James met her at the foot of the stairs, Lily didn't even spare a glance behind her at the Common Room as they left it for the last time, James' arms were around her, keeping her strong.

Breakfast passed quickly, all of them eating as much as they could fit in, their final share of the quality food Hogwarts house elves delivered every day. A look at the enchanted ceiling above them proved what Lily had hoped; the weather had broken and the sun was shining down on them.

The seventh years were the last to leave the Great Hall, slowly meandering their way down to the river bank, where the same boats they had arrived at Hogwarts in for the first time seven years ago awaited them as they made their final journey away from the castle.

James pulled Lily back, waving their friends on ahead of them, Lily looked up at him curiously.

"Are you sad to be leaving?" She asked, running a hand over his cheek, searching his lovely green eyes.

"I'm looking forward to the future," he answered huskily. "The best thing about Hogwarts is that I met you here."

He bought his lips to hers then, kissing her frantically, passionately, their lips moving together in earnest. By the time they surfaced, they were the last of the seventh years standing on the bank, giggling, Lily allowed James to help her into the boat that was waiting for them, and as soon as they were both seated, it began to move them away from the castle.

Lily's eyes filled with tears as Hogwarts disappeared before her eyes. The greenhouses, the Quidditch pitch, Hagrid's hut all faded from visibility as they rounded the first corner, soon, all that was visible was the highest of towers.

"Don't be sad my darling," James pulled Lily against his chest, weaving his fingers through her hair. "We're going to make a new future, together."

Lily looked up at him, surprised at the intensity of his gaze.

"We can get through anything together Lily, I really believe that. I want to look after you, if you'll let me. I know what we're facing is terrifying, but as long as I have you, nothing seems as frightening," James grasped her hands tightly, as he slipped to the floor of the boat on one knee. Lily's breath left her in a gasp. "I've loved you for what seems like my entire life Lily Evans, and I'll love you every moment of forever. I want to spend our lives together, I want you to have my children and I want you to be the one that I come home to every night. If I could wake up next to you every morning I'd be the happiest man in the world," from his pocket James produced a black velvet jewellery box, opening it and presenting it to her. Lily gasped again at the vast amount of diamonds settled into the ring band she was looking at, her mind whirring as she tried to desperately catch up with just what James was doing. "Marry me Lily? Please Merlin say you'll marry me!"

It was without a conscious thought that Lily through her arms around James' neck, her tears saturating them both as she whispered against his skin.

"Yes, yes, yes! Oh James…yes!"

"Really?" He pulled away from her, looking as if he hardly believed her response. "You mean it Lily?"

"Of course," she gasped, frantically showering him with kisses. "Of course I'll marry you, my love. I love you so much."

"Lily," he groaned as their lips met. Breaking away from her embrace, he slipped the ring onto her finger. They both stared at it, laughing and crying, and Lily thought that the look of pure elation on James' face as he looked at her, might have been the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.

Their boat rounded the final weave in the river then and their moment was over, cheers and cries greeted their ears, as they looked up to see their friends, all somehow crammed into one boat, waving and yelling out to them so frantically that Lily was afraid that they'd fall into the water.

"They knew?" She asked James in disbelief, as Sirius came precariously close to falling overboard.

"Of course," he grinned, wrapping his arms around her, unwilling to let her go even for a moment. "You think I could have got up the nerve to do that without their help?"

"You thought I'd refuse?" Lily laughed, kissing the hollow of his throat.

"I was worried," he admitted. "Look up on the dock!"

They were all waiting for them, waving frantically, cheering and cat calling. Franks was helping Alice out of the boat, Dorcas greeting Sirius, Remus and Peter enthusiastically. The entire school seemed to be there to greet them, including Professor's Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn, the latter wiping away tears. Lily was bodily lifted out of the boat as soon as it touched the dock, Sirius, Remus and Peter surrounding her and James, Alice shrieking with delight as she took in Lily's ring, the congratulations from wizards and witches she barely knew, the pride in Professor McGonagall's eyes as she hugged them both, and, as Lily was handed back to her fiancé's waiting arms, she had never been as happy as she was in that moment. Come what may, James was her past, her present and her future, and with him by her side, Lily had hope for a better tomorrow.

"_Journey's end in lovers meeting"_

_Twelfth Night_

_(II, iii, 44)_

_William Shakespeare  
_

* * *

**Conclusion**

"_So wise so young, they say, do never live long"_

_King Richard III_

_(III, I, 79)_

Fait Accompli, an irreversible action that has happened before those affected by it knew of its existence. We all know how James and Lily's story ends, in a way so tragic as to make it difficult to appreciate the romance and love that was their story. There is no happily ever after for James and Lily and so we leave them at a place where they are content, departing Hogwarts, ready to embark on their lives together, hopeful, despite the many challenges they face.

They will go on to give the world their son, Harry, and to die in order to protect him. In doing so, unknowingly they would change the course of wizard history. If James and Lily had not lived and loved, Harry never would have. He would never befriend a lonely Muggle girl, a forgotten son, an awkward, Herbology loving boy or a zany blonde girl. He never would have fallen in love with his best friends younger sister, and the world would never have seen James Sirius, Albus Severus and Lily Luna. He never would have restored peace to the wizarding world, all the while remaining ever humble and unassuming. Though it doesn't seem that James and Lily's story is one with a happy ending, their lives did not end with their deaths. For as long as their son, the product of their love, lives and gives his love to others, their love too will continue.

_Fait Accompli. _


	20. Chapter 20

Hi everyone,

It's been a long time. I'm sorry to post an Author's Note as a new chapter, but I have some exciting news for you all. I know many of you were disappointed when I announced I was not intending to publish any new stories, but at the time I just didn't have the energy, time or inclination. However, things have changed and I'm happy to announce I have just started posting my new story, All Was Well. If you're so inclined, please take a look. I'd love to see some of my old readers enjoying my new work, I believe I've grown a lot as a writer and a person since I finished publishing Fait Accompli.

SR.


End file.
